Local Newspaper Headlines!

[mikeinworthing]

The worst I ever spotted was:

MILK STOLEN - from doorsteps, would you believe it

 

[chio]

The Manchester Evening News today has "Rescuers' two-hour fight to save horse trapped in bog". This is on the front of a big city daily - a story that'd struggle to make my small town weekly!

 

[PacificOcean]

Ours isn't so nice this week. Though a cat making the front page shows crime is a bit lacking round these parts. From the Cheshunt Mercury:

http://www.herts-essex-news.co.uk/n...bs stab cat then hang it up with shoelace.lpf

Poor cat.

 

[scifisam]

 

[Fez909]

I forgot there was that one in some village in Yorkshire:

"Bus route stays the same" - front page, that was.

That was from Hebden Bridge. They also had:

"Milltown man creosotes shed"

Quality

 

[gnoriac]

For a few years back:
MAN BREAKS BOTTLES IN STREET

 

[maya]

rather boring/silly stuff, really:

- Ten year old meat found in shop freezer!

I killed a computer!

Luck is a horse

Warming up for “orgasm day”- local couple discovered in action

Pet lizard missing

Cloudspotter gets fatal injury

 

[vince noir]

This is one of the greatest local newspaper stories of all time, includes the classic line, "Mark loves his crisps, like all men"

A recent splash in the Neath Guardian read, "A DRUNKEN man took a goat on a joyride in a crime described by a district judge as one of 'immense stupidity'."

 

[Kenny Vermouth]

This is one of the greatest local newspaper stories of all time, includes the classic line, "Mark loves his crisps, like all men"

A recent splash in the Neath Guardian read, "A DRUNKEN man took a goat on a joyride in a crime described by a district judge as one of 'immense stupidity'."

That one about the crisps has to be a wind up. It's very funny though.

 

[vince noir]

100% genuine...

 

[Kenny Vermouth]

100% genuine...

I'll take your word for it, the only thing that made me doubt it was that it was written by someone called James Crisp.

There's a also this comment on the story:

What a lovely heart warming story! I was so touched I went out and bought some crisps, but there wasn't a SINGLE HEART SHAPED ONE! I'm sad and lonely now.
Gerald Winterbottom, Tytherington
15/02/2006 at 14:42

 

[cyberfairy]

The Bath Chronicle once had 'Lost Apple Found' with a picture of a beaming bearded old guy holding an apple aloft for the camera

 

[bigbry]

From a few years ago after a few local residents had reported that their dogs had gone missing

MISSING DOGS: POLICE SEEK NEW LEADS

absolutely genuine headline

 

[tangerinedream]

My favourite story ever in a local paper came from the Chorley Guardian. The headline was RAT SEEN IN SUBWAY?

On closer inspection, the story was about a man who'd got off the late train and seen something move in the subway, but was more than happy to concede it could well have been litter or something, rather than a rat.

This was the front page story.

 

[Kenny Vermouth]

My favourite story ever in a local paper came from the Chorley Guardian. The headline was RAT SEEN IN SUBWAY?

On closer inspection, the story was about a man who'd got off the late train and seen something move in the subway, but was more than happy to concede it could well have been litter or something, rather than a rat.

This was the front page story.

Fuck me.

 

[PacificOcean]

Is Chorley to posh to have rats?

And is the same Chorley as Chorley FM "where the listener comes first" fame?

 

[tangerinedream]

Is Chorley to posh to have rats?

And is the same Chorley as Chorley FM "where the listener comes first" fame?

No, by no means is Chorley posh

yes it is the same, and chorley fm is actually real.

 

[Onslow]

@ thread.

especially, "MAN SMASHES BOTTLE IN STREET"

Who gives a shit!

 

[Klaus Armenia]

I just saw "youth activities reaching climax" in a magazine on someones desk

 

[mikeinworthing]

This mistake appeared in a local rag in Kent some years ago.

After the local elections, 2nd headline on page, should have read 'Count at the town hall', but appeared as 'Cunt at the town hall' - never a truer statement

And down in Somerset when the 'Shift workers wanted' ad appeared as 'Shit workers wanted'.

 

[Bob]

from Tuesday's SLP:

"VICTORY FOR ASBO GRANDAD"

makes a change from the usual stories about stabbings & shootings.

In fact this week's SLP is full of brilliant stories. My favorite is about the bus route which has the most emergency buttons pushed in London. The first line of the story was 'Is this the route of all evil?'

 

[Winkybag]

I've been working in Hull this week, the highlight of which has been taking photos of the local news billboards outside newsagents.

One of the highlights:

 

[Mrs Magpie]

While searching for a film with a misleading synopsis for Shirl I came across this (don't ask how I got there, I just did) and it made me glad that local news still thrives. Got any others?

Policeman injured by flying coffee jar in Poundland, Twickenham

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Just seen this
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/mar/14/local-newspaper-billboard-headlines
Glad to see the SLP got an honourable mention.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Dog walker tells of shock at 67 screws discovery


http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/News/Dog-walker-tells-of-shock-at-67-screws-discovery-06102011.htm

 

[mrs quoad]

I'm guessing you've encountered 'angry people in local newspapers,' Mrs M?

http://apiln.blogspot.com/

 

[jakethesnake]

I'm not sure local news is still thriving - our local daily has now gone to once a week... the long-term prospects for news papers are not good i.m.o.

Anyway, my favourite headline comes from the very late '80s when the Dangerous Dogs Act was being discussed:
"Vets Hopeful After Dog Talks"

 

[Mrs Magpie]

 

[Mrs Magpie]

I'm guessing you've encountered 'angry people in local newspapers,' Mrs M?

http://apiln.blogspot.com/

Yes, I've always liked that except I think angry isn't quite the right description. They look disgruntled to me.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Couple almost eaten alive by their dinner


http://www.acadvertiser.co.uk/2011/07/07/couple-almost-eaten-alive-by-their-dinner-51525-29013996/