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Buying a home and don't know how anything works

I am so sick of this. Sick of being patient, sick of sharing with weirdos, sick of living in a complete mess because all my stuff is squished into one room with no storage space, sick of working, sleeping and living in one room, sick of feeling like everything is on hold. I just want to unpack :(
 
Sorry to hear this miss direct. During our painful purchase I ranted to people about how the house purchasing system in the UK needs a radical overhaul and people looked at me as though I were on some weird hobby horse. But why would you just accept how it works? It doesn't have to be like this, it isn't like it in other countries. I've heard that France also has quite a medieval system but plenty of countries don't. It's absurd. "House-buying is the most stressful thing you can do besides getting a divorce, hahaha." Well change it then dickwads.
 
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They do lie. Shamelessly and automatically. Because there are no consequences for doing so.
Doesn't help in a time critical situation like you were but when my grandparents estate went to probate it took the solicitors nearly a year and they still hadn't sorted it. So mum engaged a different solicitor and it was sorted in a month, they bollocked the other solicitors and made them refund some of their expenses as they were over charging for what they had done.
 
miss direct -I’m hopeful you will be setting a date this time next week as there is surely not much more to do. I had the same experience re solicitors -their side saying they sent it etc.

Even with my offer the estate agent didn’t tell me it had been accepted for a week! The vendors wanted the weekend to think about it then on the Monday they told someone at the estate agent who didn’t pass it on to the right person so they say. If got to Friday before Aug bank holiday last year that I had to call & discovered offer had been accepted!

Moral is they are all shysters but you are very much on the home straight.
 
(Not really relevant, but I would worry about the speed at which that Lidl was built, tbh :hmm: )


We bought a shared ownership place, where there was no estate agent involved to bug even, so had to deal directly with the vendors to view. They didn't respond to messages to start with, then did and she claimed she'd been ill. Obvs I took her at her word there - no probs, very sorry to hear it - so we viewed for 15 minutes (after turning up on time and them arriving back late) and then, when I was accepted by the HA and asked to view again, to take measurements etc, she put all sorts of barriers up (most of them being around OMG! I HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD AND A JOB, I CAN'T POSSIBLY FIT IT IN! :confused: ) so I just gave in in the end. We didn't have a choice anyway.

I DID quite carefully research the conveyancing solicitor I chose though and paid more to go with an independent one (not one who has any kick backs to estate agents) and it served us well, even though the process dragged and some of that was about her being very thorough in her searches and questions.

We were in a very difficult situation because I had to put my son on the mortgage and he was doing an apprenticeship. He had to have done 12 months but the apprenticeship only ran for 18 months - so we literally had to ask his employer not to tell him if it had extended into a permanent job, which was stressful all round, obvs.

From the HA agreeing our application (essentially, the offer being accepted - someone else had bid, too) it was five months until we got in.

My son didn't then get taken on permanently (although his employers very kindly extended the apprenticeship by a further three months) :eek: so a whole new stress - but thankfully he managed to get a new job.

That job started a week before our block of flats then burnt down, five months after we moved in. :facepalm:

We have been in temp accomodation now for 20 months and I promise you, I TOTALLY get the feeling of wanting to move on and settle. What we still have left is in storage so we're living in a house which is FINE but is not anything close to home - I HATE it and I am sick of waiting.

What I wanted to say, though - two things, really - is that when we had similar hold ups, with all the 'It's not us, it's them!' (coming from the HA, the vendors conveyancers AND the vendors themselves - I mean they were ALL crap) my conveyancing solicitor (who I literally DID cry to - because we were on the cusp of being absolutely fucked if it didn't happen then) sent me quite a lot of copies of her communication with theirs (and it would have been comical had I not been so fucking stressed - pretty much 'WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT/HAVE DONE THAT'... 'YES YOU DO/NO YOU HAVEN'T' on and on and on) so perhaps you could ask for that to happen, just so you know who and what is holding it up?
Iirc, the final hold up was actually the HA, so it may be stuff from the council and nowt at all to do with anything else.

But also, as a consequence of the fire, it has become very clear what a difference a good conveyancer can make and ALSO that it IS important that everything is correctly checked and crossed off.
Leaseholds are complicated and I would actively worry about a conveyancer that rushed everything through.
So many estate agents have a sort of factory farmed base of conveyancers that they pass buyers and vendors on to. I'm sure I would have gone with the EA's choice, had there been an EA involved, but like I say, there has been an opportunity to compare what was actually DONE later, between myself and other people and it was far from the same. :hmm:

It's extremely stressful - quite apart from the huge sums of money involved in actually paying for it (whatever you have to put down and/or a mortgage) it does just feel like you are leaking money and that it just keeps mounting up. But realistically, if you can afford it, don't stress about next months rent - if you have to do it, do it (although perhaps you could also ask the LL whether you can pay on a weekly basis now, with an agreement that you will ofcourse let them know as soon as you have an actual date).

Just breathe. You WILL be in soon, it will be ok. The end does come very suddenly and you are nearly there! :cool:
 
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She also had a husband! :D

I actually emailed her to tell her not to worry about cleaning or tidying - that I was sure that it must be a strange situation having to do the viewings themselves (because I do think it would be and knew/know I'd feel out of my comfort zone there) but - they were selling their property!
In the end it was really like they just knew someone would buy it (it was the ONLY place we could afford, so would've been the same for others) and just CBA to accomodate anything over that original visit because they didn't need to.

I remembered that one of the other excuses was that her phone wasn't working. Ill/phone/mostly the extraordinary situation they'd apparently found themselves in in having a child, though.

Tbf, me and my bezzer still do the 'BUT I HAVE A THREE YEAR OLD! AND A JOB!' line, even now, to any low level request (make me a cup of tea?), so she gave us that at least :thumbs:
 
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Oh that's awful sheothebudworths (I always thought your username was shoe etc until I had to type it out)

Thank you for sharing. It's a good idea to ask my landlord if I can pay weekly or at least give him a heads up. He knows my situation.

On tonight's dog walk, I discovered that Lidl doesn't open till the 17th. Maybe I still have a chance at beating it after all!
 
I just had a little trawl through old emails and some of what my conveyancer picked up on and really bit down on was due to changes in legislation - that those needed to be written into any new leasehold agreement - but there was some very basic stuff, too, around safety certificates not being provided etc - the vendors conveyancers being all OH WELL, PFFT about that.
Honestly - I know I'm coming at it from a very different angle to anyone saying that you must be vigorous YOURSELF in dealing with it all but I say, for another months rent or whatever, for another month in a place that I KNOW is not home and is really uncomfortable for you to be in, take NO risks either. X

Re weekly rent, even my wanker ex-landlord took that up when I was heading towards exchange and completion.
They benefit by you keeping them in the loop, don't forget.

As I understand it, you have no deposit to claim back?
It sounds like a very informal/unenforceable agreement anyway?
Is the four weeks notice just something you have verbally agreed? Have you already paid ahead?
Sorry if I'm making you repeat yourself - no pressure to answer at all - but seems like something more worth thinking about now, too.
 
Thank you. If I had known that it would take so long, I might have taken my time a bit more..it's the only place I viewed. Still happy with my decision and hoping there won't be something horrible arising from the enquiries.

Yes, no deposit here. I do have a contract somewhere, the standard short lease one. I pay on the 6th for the month ahead.
 
Doubtful there will be & I don't mean to suggest there is! :)
Just that it's important either way that it's all seen to, for your own protection - I defo do NOT mean to imply any great disaster is ahead!
This will all be a distant memory shortly, all the angst and the waiting - but financially and legally, it's STILL better to wait and have it all done correctly than to rush. X

I reckon defo have a convo with your LL, asap. Point out that you have kept them informed (because you didn't have to do that!) so they have already had notice of your intentions/that they will need to fill the room again and then ask whether you can pay for two weeks from the 6th and then weekly and that you will keep them fully updated, if so?

DO NOT FORGET that there is a benefit to them in you keeping them informed. So don't do anything above and beyond what you are obliged to if they won't meet you in the middle, either.
 
Doubtful there will be & I don't mean to suggest there is! :)
Just that it's important either way that it's all seen to, for your own protection - I defo do NOT mean to imply any great disaster is ahead!
This will all be a distant memory shortly, all the angst and the waiting - but financially and legally, it's STILL better to wait and have it all done correctly than to rush. X

I reckon defo have a convo with your LL, asap. Point out that you have kept them informed (because you didn't have to do that!) so they have already had notice of your intentions/that they will need to fill the room again and then ask whether you can pay for two weeks from the 6th and then weekly and that you will keep them fully updated, if so?

DO NOT FORGET that there is a benefit to them in you keeping them informed. So don't do anything above and beyond what you are obliged to if they won't meet you in the middle, either.
Absolutely. He'll be here tomorrow as we're having a new washing machine put in. A conversation that will be better face to face, I think. Although actually I may just pay the month because even if I get the keys next week, it will take me some time to clean, decorate, furnish, get Internet, move etc..
 
Absolutely. He'll be here tomorrow as we're having a new washing machine put in. A conversation that will be better face to face, I think. Although actually I may just pay the month because even if I get the keys next week, it will take me some time to clean, decorate, furnish, get Internet, move etc..

Do that if it feels best but then have the convo about what would happen next, in a worst case scenario. Ideal opportunity.
 
Then you can say Sayonara to all the wierdos who aren't luck enough to be able to afford a one bedroom flat.
Home ownership being the route out of our dire housing problem, obvs.
Direct you ire towards BTL landlords, the selling off of social housing and even more so, the huge efforts this gov has very succesfully made over this last year, with covid going on, to ensure that the fucking property market stays 'buoyant' (increased over 10% over the last year). Priorities.
 
Sorry to hear this miss direct. During our painful purchase I ranted to people about how the house purchasing system in the UK needs a radical overhaul and people looked at me as though I were on some weird hobby horse. But why would you just accept how it works? It doesn't have to be like this, it isn't like it in other countries. I've heard that France also has quite a medieval system but plenty of countries don't. It's absurd. "House-buying is the most stressful thing you can do besides getting a divorce, hahaha." Well change it then dickwads.
It's different in Scotland. When I had an offer accepted in England, the first thing my family in Scotland asked was when I'd be getting the keys. There the 'entry date' is set once your offer's accepted and is (I believe) typically about six weeks because the seller has to provide a homebuyer report which cuts out some of the faff. Which feels much more sensible. (Mine took nearly five months from getting my offer accepted to getting the keys. :()

ETA Oh, and it's legally binding too from the get go pretty much so if either party pulls out, believe the other side has to pay money. Never having bought there, not completely sure of the system but my sister (ex-solicitor) was talking about it.

 
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It's different in Scotland. When I had an offer accepted in England, the first thing my family in Scotland asked was when I'd be getting the keys. There the 'entry date' is set once your offer's accepted and is (I believe) typically about six weeks because the seller has to provide a homebuyer report which cuts out some of the faff. Which feels much more sensible. (Mine took nearly five months from getting my offer accepted to getting the keys. :()

ETA Oh, and it's legally binding too from the get go pretty much so if either party pulls out, believe the other side has to pay money. Never having bought there, not completely sure of the system but my sister (ex-solicitor) was talking about it.

Get away now with these strange Scottish ways! Just because it's clearly better doesn't mean it's better you know! It is important for people to experience vast amounts of unnecessary stress in the housebuying process. Why, you ask? Hush now, the solicitors don't want us asking such questions, and housing exists for their benefit not ours.

As you might be able to tell, I am genuinely annoyed that so many people tamely accept such a shit system. It's all so unnecessary.
 
Don't want to sound like a broken record, but this is why I recommened getting some form of personal contact details with your seller. You can work out which solicitor is telling the fibs and call them out on it. Your best option is to ask the agent to ask exactly what it is your sellers solictor is waiting on. Then speak to yours and if they have done it, they will have no hesitation of forwarding you the said email and documents, which you can then either forward on (careful of any confiential info) or tell the agent that 'actually I have proof of my solictor doing this X weeks ago, please ask them to re-check their emails for this date where they will find the information they are apparently waiting for'

If I didn't have personal details of my seller, whose solicitor was fucking dreadful, I don't know how much longer it would have took. It took my solicitor providing me with proof, to send onto seller who would then (many times) light a rocket under his solicitors arse. On exchange day it took the seller, my solictor and the agent to hassle them all fucking day, we eventually exchanged about 4:50pm!!

Fucking shambles. I know my seller was going to make a formal complaint when it was all done, but no idea if that happened.
 
I've woken up and made a decision today. Rent is due - I will pay it and give my one month's notice. This time in a month, I will either be in my new place, about to move in (in which case I will either negotiate another week or so here or if necessary move to a friend's temporarily) or if this crap is still dragging on, I will pull out of the sale and rent my own place.

(I've been having some issues with the shared house over the last few days that have made me feel really anxious - this is the right decision for me.)
 
I've woken up and made a decision today. Rent is due - I will pay it and give my one month's notice. This time in a month, I will either be in my new place, about to move in (in which case I will either negotiate another week or so here or if necessary move to a friend's temporarily) or if this crap is still dragging on, I will pull out of the sale and rent my own place.

(I've been having some issues with the shared house over the last few days that have made me feel really anxious - this is the right decision for me.)

you’re close. Seems a bit dramatic to pull out now. Just need to gee up the solicitors. Have you not even suggested dates yet or have they not asked you?

it won’t help that the June stamp duty deadline is around the corner. People will be harassing to complete and it doesn’t effect you no doubt because others are harassing you’re getting pushed down the pile.

keep pushing. I know it’s annoying but you need to harass. You should be in a position for your solicitor to suggest a realistic completion date to aim for by now which will give you some assurance as to what you’re aiming at.

pick up the phone. Is has a sense of more urgency than emails.
 
Yeah I probably won't pull out to be fair, but I just need to feel like I'm moving forward - if I stay here much longer I may explode and be assaulted by scary housemate.

I'm expecting to hear something next week. Ha, I've been saying that for weeks now. My solicitor has kept me updated really and I will take the earliest exchange date that's possible.

I have no credit but will put some on my phone. There's no point me ringing the solicitors until they've had the paperwork from the other solicitors though.
 
Dont threaten to do something unless youre 100% willing to do it.

It's a good idea moving out of your current place. It sounds shit and unacceptable. You can and will find something else to tide you over, dont even wait a month if it's that bad. Seriously. Regard this as part of the spending in getting your own place etc.
 
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