ska invita
back on the other side
This is what Steve Wright has given his life too tbf. Or at least his afternoons
Boris Johnson tests positive for Covid-19
- Thread starter dessiato
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This is what Steve Wright has given his life too tbf. Or at least his afternoons
Lord Camomile
Yipchaa!
I know. I was being rhetorical. Or sarcastic. Or something.
strung out
💩 🤣 🍆 💦 🧐 👻 🐝 🐈⬛
They're essentially following the plot of the film Dave, where a comatose Boris gets replaced by a professional impersonator.
I've taken the liberty of amending the Wikipedia plot summary and it all fits perfectly:
Dave Kovic runs a temporary employment agency in Brixton, London, and has a side job impersonating Prime Minister Boris Johnson. He is requested by the Secret Service to make an appearance as the Prime Minister at a hotel. Dave assumes it is a matter of security, but it is really to cover up Johnson's extramarital affair with a Downing Street staffer.
Johnson suffers a severe bout of Covid-19 during the rendezvous, leaving him in a coma. Downing Street adviser Dominic Cummings and Communications Director Lee Cain convince Dave to continue impersonating the Prime Minister, telling him that Deputy Prime Minister Dominc Raab is mentally unbalanced. Only Cummings, Cain, the Secret Service, and the medical staff know of the switch. First Lady Carrie Symonds leads a separate life, rarely seeing the Prime Minister, in contrast to their public image of a closely-knit couple.
The public is notified that Johnson has had a "minor circulatory problem of the head". With Dave established as Prime Minister, Dominic and Alan send Raab on a 12-nation goodwill tour of Africa and implicate him in savings and loan fraud. Once Raab is forced to resign, Cummings plans for Dave to nominate him as deputy Prime Minister, whereupon Johnson will have a more serious bout of Covid-19 and Cummings will ascend to the Prime Ministership.
Dave's enthusiasm revives Johnson's popularity. He visits a homeless shelter with Synmonds, who does not understand why he has taken a sudden interest. Dominic forges Johnson's veto of a funding bill that includes the shelter. When Dave is confronted about the veto by Carrie, he confronts Dominic, who offhandedly tells him that if he can cut £650 million from the national budget he can keep the shelter. Dave has his accountant friend help him rewrite the budget so that the project may be reinstated. To make sure that Cummings doesn't interfere, Dave does it publicly during a televised cabinet meeting. Realising that Dave is attracted to her - while her husband has long since ceased any such interest - Symonds tricks Dave into revealing the truth. Dave and Duane show her Bill on life support in the Downing Street basement. She and Dave decide to leave Downing Street. However, after a night out, they realise all the good they could still do and decide to return.
The next morning, Dave blackmails Cummings into resigning by threatening to reveal the switch to the public, then announces a plan to find a job for every British person who wants work. A few days later, Raab returns from Africa and confronts Dave about the savings and loan scandal, insisting they both know there is no merit to the allegations. Dave talks to Alan, who reveals the whole plan was Cummings's idea. Meanwhile, Cummings reveals the real Johnson's involvement in the savings and loan scandal while pushing his own candidacy for the presidency. Dave continues to push the jobs program.
A few nights later, Raab tells Dave that whatever happens to them because of the scandal, he finds the jobs program a wonderful idea. After spending some time with the vice Prime Minister, Dave tells Carrie that Raab is a good man and would make a great Prime Minister. Realizing what Dave has planned, Carrie tells him that she does not want to lose him. The next day in a joint session of Parliament, Dave admits to Johnson's role in the scandal, but introduces evidence proving that Cummings was the mastermind and Raab is innocent. Cummings realizes that Alan has betrayed him as Dave clears Raab of the charges. After apologizing to Raab and the country, Dave fakes a bout of Covid-19 and makes a switch with the real Johnson in an ambulance en route to the hospital. Raab becomes acting Prime Minister and is sworn in as Prime Minister five months later when Johnson dies. Cummings and eight other members of the Johnson administration are indicted two days after Dave's jobs initiative passes.
Dave decides to run for city council and Symonds comes to the office to volunteer. As they embrace, Duane stands guard outside the office door
The music is feckin freaking me out. Reaches a climax when the hole in the middle opens for the bucket to poo/piss in.
Weird, very weird.
SpineyNorman
Inappropriate content removed
His favourite tune is actually something unspeakable by cliff Richard, they're just making it out to he the Beatles to make him seem human.
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
And Brown's was Snow Patrol iirc.
brogdale
Coming to terms with late onset Anarchism
Quite possibly so, but of course, the shocking reality is that the UK probably hit the daily 4 figure totals just over 2 weeks ago....folk infected in late February!
Totally off topic, but someone shared a poster from an ancient All Tomorrows Parties festival the other day, and bizarrely in among all the achingly cool noise-rock and leftfield indie bands was none other than... Snow Patrol. What happened to them??
Buckaroo
Donkey piss and tractors
Think he said it was Arctic Monkeys
ETA but couldn't name any songs and then switched to Coldplay!
elbows
Well-Known Member
That graph is cumulative! It does not indicate that we passed a rate of 1000 deaths per day, the blue bars are total deaths at that point, not new deaths each day.
Using data that is 3 days more up to date than the data used in that graph, I can see that so far the reported hospital deaths per day in England has reached 561 deaths per day at its highest. However this data lags, so I expect that the number has gone higher than that already in April, but I have to wait more days for that data to come through.
teuchter
je suis teuchter
Are the blue bars covid deaths or all deaths?
mauvais
on reddit or something
Some good stuff on here. I hope Ten Benson are doing alright.
They did some gigs 5 years ago or so, but I don't think they're fully active anymore.
brogdale
Coming to terms with late onset Anarchism
Chilli.s
mingling jets and statuettes
Bad shape... "You're a big man, but you're in bad shape"
ska invita
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platinumsage
HaveMyPassword123
1pm update
elbows
Well-Known Member
Both the red and blue bars are covid-19 hospital deaths that have made it through the reporting system.
The red ones are based on the total they release each day, and are assigned to the day they show up in the stats. The blue ones are different, they are based on the actual date of death. Thats also why that graph ends on March 27th, because there are reporting delays. So if they kept going beyong that date the blue bars would become less and less accurate, loads of cases would be missing from them because lots of the deaths for March 28th-April 4th hadnt been reported by April 5th.
Take for example the number of deaths that were reported for England yesterday. They are often described by the press as being deaths that occurred on the previous day. Actually, they were deaths that were reported on the previous day, and the actual dates of those deaths reported yesterday was actually this:
ska invita
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pics or it didnt happen
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
numerous pm's of support
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
Numerous supports of PM.
tim
EXPLODED TIM! (Help me!!!)
like a rotting cheese improves
discobastard
Well-Known Member
They were still pretty indie in 2000, on Belle and Sebastian's label and living above me in a flat on Gibson St in Glasgow. Lovely blokes. Then went full on MOR in 2005.
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
tim
EXPLODED TIM! (Help me!!!)
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
I believe one consumes them as part of the cheese. Vom.
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