Boris Johnson tests positive for Covid-19

[danny la rouge]

I always fancied a budget Viking style send off to Valhalla. I can provide my own axe to keep costs down as well!

Cradle To Grave | Viking Burial Ship Ash Casket — Cradle To Grave Willow

Viking Burial Ships, complete with urn, hand-made made from Willow to carry ashes, whether they are being scattered or buried. Made in Dorset.

www.cradletogravewillowcoffins.co.uk

 

[Teaboy]

50-50, innit.

I dunno, his odds are probably better than that. I read something which was apparently from a doctor on the front line in at the moment. He reckoned that not being ventilated was good but even so he'd probably be in a bad way for a few days before starting to mend. If this is true then he's got a a day or two more before the recovery starts, that is unless he gets moved to a ventilator.

 

[ViolentPanda]

O/T Has anyone else noticed a rise in TV adverts for funerals?

Yep. Fucking vultures.

 

[Sprocket.]

Yep. Fucking vultures.

Real vultures would be more environmentally friendly!

 

[ViolentPanda]

Real vultures would be more environmentally friendly!

Problem is the health & safety fuckers won't allow excarnation, so the carrion birds have to go hungry.

 

[equationgirl]

I had that too, recently. Got called brave because of carrying on doing community work after my recent "you might die" diagnosis. Of course I'm going to carry on. What's the alternative, to go lie in bed, weeping and lamenting? If I'm going to go, I'll go helping my community. I'll go out fighting, like Ann did.

Yeah, like you say, what's the alternative, lounging like a vapid invalid all day?

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

I dunno, his odds are probably better than that. I read something which was apparently from a doctor on the front line in at the moment. He reckoned that not being ventilated was good but even so he'd probably be in a bad way for a few days before starting to mend. If this is true then he's got a a day or two more before the recovery starts, that is unless he gets moved to a ventilator.

Sunak just said he's sitting up in bed engaging "positively" with staff. In ICU.

 

[Sprocket.]

Sunak just said he's sitting up in bed engaging "positively" with staff. In ICU.

He may be, but another 938 people have died !

 

[Raheem]

O/T Has anyone else noticed a rise in TV adverts for funerals?

They advertise on TV? Not exactly an impulse purchase, is it?

 

[Pickman's model]

Sunak just said he's sitting up in bed engaging "positively" with staff. In ICU.

the doctors and nurses are cowering away as he showers them with spittle and tries to shake their hands

 

[ViolentPanda]

Yeah, like you say, what's the alternative, lounging like a vapid invalid all day?

I mean, it might be fun for half a day, lying on the chaise with the back of my left hand to my brow, but after that I'd be thinking "fuck this, I could be getting on with all the work that's backed up" (currently the most important being to print out 10 copies of a 600-page management agreement, so that the board of our Resident Management Organisation can scrutinise it).

 

[Sprocket.]

They advertise on TV? Not exactly an impulse purchase, is it?

Yes but as I’ve been off work since before this crisis began I have noticed the increase over the last month. Especially for cremation only, no service, budget funerals.
Growth industry.

 

[bimble]

O/T Has anyone else noticed a rise in TV adverts for funerals?

I've been getting a lot of Life Insurance ads on the twitter, where they used to be trying to sell me clothes.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Sunak just said he's sitting up in bed engaging "positively" with staff. In ICU.

So, attempting to seduce the female staff, calling non-British staff "Johnny Foreigner, hahaha, just kidding", and generally acting the cunt, then.

 

[ViolentPanda]

They advertise on TV? Not exactly an impulse purchase, is it?

Part of it is to get scared people to buy into "funeral plans".

 

[Raheem]

"Engaging positively" sounds like he's doing something that's not quite talking.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Yes but as I’ve been off work since before this crisis began I have noticed the increase over the last month. Especially for cremation only, no service, budget funerals.
Growth industry.

Already have mine sorted. Cremation, no service. Ashes to be scattered where Greebo's were.

 

[ViolentPanda]

"Engaging positively" sounds like he's doing something that's not quite talking.

Groping the female staff.

 

[Saul Goodman]

"Engaging positively" sounds like he's doing something that's not quite talking.

So he's back to his normal self.

 

[danny la rouge]

“Improving” now.

Coronavirus: Boris Johnson 'improving' as intensive care treatment continues

The update on Boris Johnson's health comes as a record 938 UK virus deaths are reported in a day.

www.bbc.co.uk

 

[Kaka Tim]

Engaging positively - can indicate yes or no when asked if he needs a bed pan.
If he'd been chatting and joking we would definitely have been told about it.
"no change" is not really good news if you are seriously ill in intensive care.

 

[JimW]

Could make a killing on shrouds with pockets for all the sick Tories.

 

[danny la rouge]

"no change" is not really good news if you are seriously ill in intensive care.

That’s an old briefing. He’s “improving” now.

 

[Teaboy]

Yeah, he's probably going to be fine. Hopefully the government isn't go into stasis waiting for him to recover though because it could yet take a while. Already talk of not holding the next meeting regarding the status of the lockdown.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Yeah, he's probably going to be fine. Hopefully the government isn't go into stasis waiting for him to recover though because it could yet take a while. Already talk of not holding the next meeting regarding the status of the lockdown.

Wouldn't have been much point anyway, everyone has already figured out that nothing is going to change at the 'three week' mark.

 

[Raheem]

Yeah, he's probably going to be fine. Hopefully the government isn't go into stasis waiting for him to recover though because it could yet take a while. Already talk of not holding the next meeting regarding the status of the lockdown.

Expect we'll get cabinet ministers on TV giving their contradictory views as to whether the lockdown is still on or not.

 

[Sue]

the doctors and nurses are cowering away as he showers them with spittle and tries to shake their hands

We need a 'that makes me want to vom' reaction emoji thing for posts such as this.

 

[bimble]

Yep even if he is 'on the mend' I think the general idea is that it takes a really long time to actually recover, like many weeks, which is why the 'recovered' numbers are so low and why health service are so fucked by this disease, people who get the severe version seem to need help for a long time.

 

[Teaboy]

Wouldn't have been much point anyway, everyone has already figured out that nothing is going to change at the 'three week' mark.

Well there is the question of a stricter lock down. There was a choice to be made and by not holding the meeting it just makes it look like they're scared to make a decision without Johnson. As you say though, it was always going to be more of the same.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Now Boris is on the mend perhaps the government could sort this out; the Royal Surrey Hospital ran out of oxygen last night. 67 people died in Surrey hospitals yesterday.