OK - so when is enough . . . ENOUGH?
We've adopted 3 cats - FiFi came from a single cat house hold. She was 10(?) when we got her, I think she was an "old" 10 and I'm fairly sure she's now 11 coming up to 12. She arrived first, she's a lovely, confident cat. Sits on my chest at night, purrs her little head off - all the things you'd expect of a cat - Oh! and Mrs Voltz was immediately attracted to her, she's her first "proper" pet and she chose her
Then, a week later, Casper and Clive arrived - they came from a different rescue centre, they were from a multi-cat residence, can't call it a home because it sounds very much like they fended for themselves with little or no human contact. There were 6 + mum, we think, they were all at the same shelter, paired up as 2 sisters (who'd already been housed), the 2 boys and 2 remaining sisters - the remaining 4 had been in the shelter for coming up to a year by the time we saw them. They were about 1 year old when rescued, so would have been about 2 by the time we adopted the 2 boys. They were not very well socialised at all. I could just about feed Clive at the shelter but his brother, Casper, was having none of it, choosing to stay hidden - but I fell for them, in particular Casper
We kept the boys in their own room for coming up to 3 months. Initially they would hide when I went into the room but with patience and a lot of "feathers" I managed to get Clive out in the open and playing - Casper would play but would do so at a distance. FiFi on the other hand, was given the run of the house pretty much from day one (yes, I know, but previously when I've introduced cats there's been no problem at all). We kept her in for a good while, running into months rather than the recommended 3 weeks before letting her out. In defence, she didn't show much interest in going out so we didn't push it. Eventually the call of the wild (and spring arriving) got too much and she went out and came back in and went out and came back in . . . . you get the idea - but she didn't want to use the cat flap, preferring to have the flap permanently "duck taped" open (
and before anyone kicks off about this may I point you to this)
Whilst Fi's was out we'd let the boys have the run of the house - they all "knew" about the other cat(s) for some time and there'd been a bit off paws under the door going on and general "serenading" from the boys. Turns out they were both late in being "done" and had already figured out what "it" was used for so were very interested in the "Hot Babe" that they knew was out there waiting for them - they also have been spotted mounting each other, and generally riding each other around in simulated . . . well, you get the idea . . . what goes on on-tour, stays on-tour
Then, with my heart in my throat, I let Clive out, he came back with minimal fuss, he really associated the house and their room with safety, warmth and food. So we did the same with Casper, again, the worry and stress, I can't imagine what it must be like with a child, but it's bad enough with bloody cats letting them out on their own but he came back with no problems
The summer routine became this:-
I'd get up at 6 - let the boys out of their bedroom, FiFi would be in our room
Boys would come in and serenade her - sometimes resulting in FiFi being back into a corner or a safe place - no fighting just a fair bit of noise
Gradually this has got not quite so bad - there's never been, to our knowledge, what I'd call a proper "straightener" between the cats - we've always stepped in and broken up any potential sorting out of things, hoping that the passage of time and the gradual getting used to each other would, magically, sort things out. Now looking at other posts on this thread and seeing how quickly new cats seem to be being accepted by the resident cat I'm wondering when . . . enough is enough
To bring you up to date - FiFi's not really changed in her attitude towards us - she's still very defensive of us, she still settles on my chest at night, spends most, if not all of the night on our bed, she has access to the outside. The boys are put to bed in their room with the door shut so they don't have access to FiFi during the night. I'm feeding Clive by hand, he's sitting on my lap for up to 10 minutes some mornings, not all, but some. He's having strokes, ear scritches and general chin and jaw rubs. No tummy rubs yet. Casper is also hand feed'able, will come up on the sofa for food. Mrs Voltz can just about get him onto her lap with ham and/or chicken to hand feed, he'll come within a foot of me but not on my lap.
We've not picked up either of the boys in the 10 months we've had them, so getting them to the vet at the moment would be a major military operation and we'd probably opt for a vet call out if there was any need - they are still massively nervous and will flinch or move away at the slightest . . . well, anything
FiFi appears to be the one making the most noise and fuss when the boys are about with us. She'll be on the sofa with me and Clive will show interest in hopping up for a nose around and a possible treat and she'll be right in his face hissing and general dapping. He'll back off and she'll hop back on my lap or on the back of the sofa protecting "her" territory (that'll be me and the sofa) from Clive
She's hopped down and eaten food right in front of Casper - he was very interested in a "Heeellllooooo Baby" way but didn't react - so they can be in the same room all evening with minimal fuss - the problem starts when FiFi goes up stairs to bed and almost immediately one (or both) of the boys will follow her upstairs . . . just in case she "fancies a bit" - but a shout from the bottom of the stairs will more often than not see the guilty party either coming back down stairs or going into their room like a guilty little school boy
We've got in touch with the shelter that FiFi came from and have had a subsequent visit and they didn't feel that anything was too wrong and that time would sort it all out.
What to do, what to do? sending FiFi back to her shelter, quite simply, is not an option
But . . . the boys . . . they're my charity case, I'm prepared to be in it for the long run with them. Mrs Voltz? I'm not so sure, if they left FiFi alone then that would buy them a LOT of good will but we can't trust them with her. We'll go out on a Saturday with all cats having access to outside and the house and there doesn't seem to be many problems. When they've thought we're out we've seen all 3 of them on our bed so it looks like FiFi is protective of US rather than territory
We've got the boys a cuddly "sex toy" (bet you'd never thought you'd see that mentioned on the Cat thread) we've got a Boar Mate (male pig hormone) spray to spray on FiFi so the boys "think" that she's a boy and will leave her alone, we've only rubbed a bit on her rather than a full on spray so we've not given that a proper try
My argument will always be that if we had FiFi and the 2 boys were living in another house then this would have sorted itself out real fast - I feel that, just as things are coming to a head, we jump in and "stick the plaster back on again" we never simply let
Sorry this has gone on FAR TOO LONG but it's playing on my mind and I'd be interested in your thoughts
