DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
as it says on the tin. We had a Dry-man (redacted from Riman) a Penfold (dead spit) and a Twat (cos he was)
Teachers nicknames. And those who teach, your nicknames
- Thread starter DotCommunist
- Start date
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
oddly Mr Khalique never got a nickname. He was straight outta manchester inner city and scared the shit out of everbody so he was never given a nom de moque
littlebabyjesus
one of Maxwell's demons
Bushman. Can't remember his real name - biology teacher with a big beard. Thing to do in his classes was to pretend to sneeze and shout 'bushman' as you did it.
Mr Copley the science teacher was the spit of Uncle Joe so was nicknamed Stalin.
King Biscuit Time
Well-Known Member
Loads!
Beefy Keithy (Brick shithouse geography teacher)
Bunny Blowjob (A supply teacher who once wore her hair in a bun)
David the Gnome (Another regular supply, big smiley face with a red nose and a beard. You had to shout out 'Sir, I Gnome the Answer').
Honey Monster.
Dick, head of house (The head of one of the houses was called Mr Dick XXXXX)
Wheeler, Feeler, Foreskin Peeler - (Physics teacher with a no doubt un-earned rep for being a perv)
Pluggy (Named after the ugly one in the Bash Street Kids - this Maths teacher was ancient by the time he taught me and had had the nickname when he taught my Mum in the early 70s)
Dinner Ladies included Fat Sally, and Jesus.
And that's just off the top of my head. God we were cunts.
Beefy Keithy (Brick shithouse geography teacher)
Bunny Blowjob (A supply teacher who once wore her hair in a bun)
David the Gnome (Another regular supply, big smiley face with a red nose and a beard. You had to shout out 'Sir, I Gnome the Answer').
Honey Monster.
Dick, head of house (The head of one of the houses was called Mr Dick XXXXX)
Wheeler, Feeler, Foreskin Peeler - (Physics teacher with a no doubt un-earned rep for being a perv)
Pluggy (Named after the ugly one in the Bash Street Kids - this Maths teacher was ancient by the time he taught me and had had the nickname when he taught my Mum in the early 70s)
Dinner Ladies included Fat Sally, and Jesus.
And that's just off the top of my head. God we were cunts.
el-ahrairah
forward communism, forward gerbils!
Chewy - Mr Wookey, PE teacher.
Butterstump - one handed PE teacher whose name i can't remember
Drywomb - unfortunate teacher who kept having miscarriages - hopefully never to her face.
twitchy - history teacher who kept stroking his own face
coffee-breath-monster - for obv reasons, but pronounced CAAAAGHHHH
paedo keith - teacher who was in a relationship with a student. also known as jeffrey, for his resemblance to a fat jeffrey dahmer.
can't remember any more at the moment tbh.
Butterstump - one handed PE teacher whose name i can't remember
Drywomb - unfortunate teacher who kept having miscarriages - hopefully never to her face.
twitchy - history teacher who kept stroking his own face
coffee-breath-monster - for obv reasons, but pronounced CAAAAGHHHH
paedo keith - teacher who was in a relationship with a student. also known as jeffrey, for his resemblance to a fat jeffrey dahmer.
can't remember any more at the moment tbh.
beesonthewhatnow
going deaf for a living
Only one I can remember was a physics teacher known as "crapper". I have no idea why.
beesonthewhatnow
going deaf for a living
.
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
come on teachers and educators, I know theres loads of you on here. What have you been dubbed?
isvicthere?
a.k.a. floppybollocks
I went to grammar school, and a large proportion of the teachers had a nickname. I taught in comps for 23 years, and they seemed much less common. Around the turn of the 90s my nickname was briefly "Mr. Mallet" because the first two letters of my surname are MA. This became occasionally corrupted into "Hammer" because MC Hammer was popular at the time.
About ten years later my nickname was briefly "Babba Ray" due to my apparent likeness to a US wrestler of that name. It seems his catchphrase was, "Get the table!" which kids would often call out to me.
About ten years later my nickname was briefly "Babba Ray" due to my apparent likeness to a US wrestler of that name. It seems his catchphrase was, "Get the table!" which kids would often call out to me.
artyfarty
A shed on a ditch.
Poor Miss Elliot-Binns
Known as "Miff"
RE teacher with a hare lip, speech impediment and was profoundly deaf.
Christ she had the piss taken out of her. She must have been so brave to come back day after day to face us feckers.
The favourite trick was the whole class humming loudly, so loudly the head would come in and then it would stop. She of course couldnt hear it but must have felt the classroom vibrate!
Every Christmas as a treat she'd bring in a portable "gramophone" and play us Salvation Army carols as a treat!!
"God we were c*nts."
I wince when I think of just how awful her life must have been as a result of our cruelty.
Known as "Miff"
RE teacher with a hare lip, speech impediment and was profoundly deaf.
Christ she had the piss taken out of her. She must have been so brave to come back day after day to face us feckers.
The favourite trick was the whole class humming loudly, so loudly the head would come in and then it would stop. She of course couldnt hear it but must have felt the classroom vibrate!
Every Christmas as a treat she'd bring in a portable "gramophone" and play us Salvation Army carols as a treat!!
"God we were c*nts."
I wince when I think of just how awful her life must have been as a result of our cruelty.
Athos
Well-Known Member
My school had the usual array of childishly hurtful names (which no adult would be proud of using).
Peado XXXXXX
Psycho XXXXXX
Rambo (ironic)
Flaky XXXXX (for one with a skin complaint)
Millets (a large woman - reference to her dress)
The Grim Reaper (she had a number of bereavements in quick succession)
There was one very popular PE teacher, in respect of whom I coined the nickname 'Cunt.' Never caught on, though. Despite him once making a really unpopular boy (who was having lots of problems at home) stand at the front of the class, before asking anyone who liked him to stand up. I didn't especially like the kid, but I hate bullies more, so when nobody stood up, I did. As such, I had to share his punishment laps. Cunt.
I now have nicknames for my kids' teachers. Not mean, though - just silly.
Peado XXXXXX
Psycho XXXXXX
Rambo (ironic)
Flaky XXXXX (for one with a skin complaint)
Millets (a large woman - reference to her dress)
The Grim Reaper (she had a number of bereavements in quick succession)
There was one very popular PE teacher, in respect of whom I coined the nickname 'Cunt.' Never caught on, though. Despite him once making a really unpopular boy (who was having lots of problems at home) stand at the front of the class, before asking anyone who liked him to stand up. I didn't especially like the kid, but I hate bullies more, so when nobody stood up, I did. As such, I had to share his punishment laps. Cunt.
I now have nicknames for my kids' teachers. Not mean, though - just silly.
We had a teacher called Mr Roper who we called String. Not any kind of insult because he was a decent chap, just a shorthand way of referring to him. Another teacher we called Don because we had found out his first name, but only used it about him not to his face. I can't remember any others, it was long ago on another planet. Everything was in black and white those days.
TopCat
Putin fanboy
I had a (hated) maths teacher between 14-16 years of age called Mr Fernecough. His bald head perfectly replicated the colour and texture of spam. So we called him Spam Head.
· We called him Spam Head to his face
· Put tins of spam (that we had nicked) on his desk
· Wrote letters purporting to come from him to the manufacturers of spam to generate spam related correspondence
· Wrote and drew tins of spam on and in our exercise books
. Wrote to local newspapers on his behalf concerning Croydon spam matters, they printed at least three in the Croydon Advertiser
· Ate spam sandwiches in front of him when the head had threatened us all to stop calling Spam Head, Spam Head
· On one occasion we stuffed the contents of a tin of spam up his cars exhaust pipe, this was the seminal moment which caused him to lose it and punch me in the face in front of loads of witnesses.
· We called him Spam Head to his face
· Put tins of spam (that we had nicked) on his desk
· Wrote letters purporting to come from him to the manufacturers of spam to generate spam related correspondence
· Wrote and drew tins of spam on and in our exercise books
. Wrote to local newspapers on his behalf concerning Croydon spam matters, they printed at least three in the Croydon Advertiser
· Ate spam sandwiches in front of him when the head had threatened us all to stop calling Spam Head, Spam Head
· On one occasion we stuffed the contents of a tin of spam up his cars exhaust pipe, this was the seminal moment which caused him to lose it and punch me in the face in front of loads of witnesses.
Zapp Brannigan
Built like a steakhouse, handles like a bistro
CDT teacher, Mr Cockbill (pronounced Cobille, apparently) - nickname penis-beak.
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
Crikey - I'll cast my mind back:
Weasel - due to his long face and nose, his slightly effeminate voice and his Christian moralising (eventually left to become a Presbyterian minister)
Grunter - Plump RE teacher who would confiscate playing cards since they were "the devil's cards" (dead now)
Dave - Psychopathic and violent Maths/Sports teacher who liked to make sure every boy had a proper shower and would take a personal interest in our hygiene in a Yewtree kind of way (left under a cloud and later was fired from a private school for assault on a pupil. He's hopefully dead and paying for his conduct in the hereafter)
Big Bill - Physics teacher with a foul temper and a deadly blackboard duster aim
Nero - the headmaster. The grass in the quadrangle is still covered up to this day after someone broke in in 1983 and wrote "Nero Fucks Pigs" in weedkiller
Dusty - Mr Spence (named after a senior UVF member) - unlike the others listed above, he was OK. Probably the exception since we only gave names to the ones we didn't like.
Weasel - due to his long face and nose, his slightly effeminate voice and his Christian moralising (eventually left to become a Presbyterian minister)
Grunter - Plump RE teacher who would confiscate playing cards since they were "the devil's cards" (dead now)
Dave - Psychopathic and violent Maths/Sports teacher who liked to make sure every boy had a proper shower and would take a personal interest in our hygiene in a Yewtree kind of way (left under a cloud and later was fired from a private school for assault on a pupil. He's hopefully dead and paying for his conduct in the hereafter)
Big Bill - Physics teacher with a foul temper and a deadly blackboard duster aim
Nero - the headmaster. The grass in the quadrangle is still covered up to this day after someone broke in in 1983 and wrote "Nero Fucks Pigs" in weedkiller
Dusty - Mr Spence (named after a senior UVF member) - unlike the others listed above, he was OK. Probably the exception since we only gave names to the ones we didn't like.
seeformiles
Lost in the wood
Just remembered "Babyface" - a teacher who looked so youthful he was driven to a nervous breakdown by our harrassment. I still feel a bit guilty about taking part in that - but 20 years later he turned up at my old man's funeral and I apologised to him and hoped things were better for him these days. However, despite the fact he'd managed to grow a highly unconvincing moustache in the intervening years, I got the impression he's still being taunted on a regular basis. 
scalyboy
They’re taking the piss now
marty21
One on one? You're crazy.
'Wet leg Morgan' - he always seem to disappear to the loo
'Rip' Kirby - I think it was connected to Rip Van Winkle - he was a very old teacher (well to us - he was probably only in his 50s then)
'Brock' He was Brother Kelly (Christian Brother who appeared to like spanking boys on the arse
)
Dickie Scrotum - real name Richard Scrowston - lovely teacher - an inspiring one - died a couple of years ago - only in his late 50s
'Sterile' not sure where it came from - very tall teacher (6ft 5ish) claimed he played basketball for England in the past - when we had the annual teachers v student games - he would be in the basketball team (he was fairly good tbf) we all chanted 'Sterile' at him
'Slurtchy Wurtchy'- no idea where that came from
'Spud' Murphy was his name - a traditional nickname
'Titch' - small teacher who scared huge 6th formers - was known to stub out illicit cigarettes on the hands of the illicit smokers
it was the 70s/early80s - times were different...
kids can be cruel, etc...as could teachers...
'Rip' Kirby - I think it was connected to Rip Van Winkle - he was a very old teacher (well to us - he was probably only in his 50s then)
'Brock' He was Brother Kelly (Christian Brother who appeared to like spanking boys on the arse
)Dickie Scrotum - real name Richard Scrowston - lovely teacher - an inspiring one - died a couple of years ago - only in his late 50s
'Sterile' not sure where it came from - very tall teacher (6ft 5ish) claimed he played basketball for England in the past - when we had the annual teachers v student games - he would be in the basketball team (he was fairly good tbf) we all chanted 'Sterile' at him
'Slurtchy Wurtchy'- no idea where that came from
'Spud' Murphy was his name - a traditional nickname
'Titch' - small teacher who scared huge 6th formers - was known to stub out illicit cigarettes on the hands of the illicit smokers
it was the 70s/early80s - times were different...
kids can be cruel, etc...as could teachers...
TruXta
tired
HA! That is fucking funny, but you thorougly deserved that punch it seems
Chemical needs
stirring
Mr Dixon - Mr Dicks
Mr Orel - Mr Oral or Ned (he was the spitting image of Ned Flanders, and he looked very strange when he shaved off his' tache!)
Mr Bales - Bionic Bales (used to run D of E and was often seen powerwalking over the roughest terrain that Dartmoor has to offer at an unhuman pace)
Mrs Poocrap - rhymed with her real name
Mr Orel - Mr Oral or Ned (he was the spitting image of Ned Flanders, and he looked very strange when he shaved off his' tache!)
Mr Bales - Bionic Bales (used to run D of E and was often seen powerwalking over the roughest terrain that Dartmoor has to offer at an unhuman pace)
Mrs Poocrap - rhymed with her real name
farmerbarleymow
I'm Petee's spirit animal
Mrs Rawlings - called Jam Rag Rawlings for reasons I can't remember.
We had a German teacher who, I'm ashamed to say, we used to taunt with the phrase 'cliff hanger' as rumour had it her son killed himself by throwing himself off a cliff. It was guaranteed to reduce her to tears. We were cruel little bastards in those days.
A physics teacher whose name I can't remember used to get called Rudolf Hess, on account of him looking vaguely like him and using an old silk parachute in some lessons as a prop. He took it well actually, and was a decent bloke.
There are more, but I'll have to try and remember them.
* goes off to friendsreunited to find out the easy way...
We had a German teacher who, I'm ashamed to say, we used to taunt with the phrase 'cliff hanger' as rumour had it her son killed himself by throwing himself off a cliff. It was guaranteed to reduce her to tears. We were cruel little bastards in those days.
A physics teacher whose name I can't remember used to get called Rudolf Hess, on account of him looking vaguely like him and using an old silk parachute in some lessons as a prop. He took it well actually, and was a decent bloke.
There are more, but I'll have to try and remember them.
* goes off to friendsreunited to find out the easy way...
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
Mr Farty
Pervy Pateman
Pete The Poison Pixie
Yasser Arafat
Werewolf Wallis
Mine is my tagline
Pervy Pateman
Pete The Poison Pixie
Yasser Arafat
Werewolf Wallis
Mine is my tagline
ViolentPanda
Hardly getting over it.
Hmm.
We had a Fritz (en bross hair made him look like an archetypal WW2 Kraut). a Dougal (after the character from The Magic Roundabout that he resembled), a Thor (6ft 6in redheaded beardie science teacher prone to fits of rage), 2 Taffys, a Comrade (Marxist history teacher), a Wispy Willie (effete and over-emotional drama teacher, a Dylan (hippy/longhair geography teacher who resembled the character from The Magic Roundabout, not Bob Dylan!), a Chippy (woodwork teacher, obviously), and assorted others who either didn't warrant a nickname, or were not particularly characterful
We had a Fritz (en bross hair made him look like an archetypal WW2 Kraut). a Dougal (after the character from The Magic Roundabout that he resembled), a Thor (6ft 6in redheaded beardie science teacher prone to fits of rage), 2 Taffys, a Comrade (Marxist history teacher), a Wispy Willie (effete and over-emotional drama teacher, a Dylan (hippy/longhair geography teacher who resembled the character from The Magic Roundabout, not Bob Dylan!), a Chippy (woodwork teacher, obviously), and assorted others who either didn't warrant a nickname, or were not particularly characterful
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