Smug London snob slags off Brighton Pier for its lack of vibrancy

[TheHoodedClaw]

Author Nicholas Lezard just tweeted the article (not favourably). Maybe destined for more widespread ridicule

He used to be Laurie Penny's flatmate, oddly enough

'He was in his underpants eating a radish and an oyster at the same time'

 

[T & P]

does anyone ever actually win anything on the penny machines?

Don't know about them but claw machines, of which there are lots on the pier, are actually set so they only produce a strong grip 1 in 10 times. So no matter how good you are at positioning the claw, it will fail to keep hold of the prize nine times out of ten.

That this is a known practice and yet not deemed illegal is astonishing. Legalised fraud.

 

[Wilf]

Don't know about them but claw machines, of which there are lots on the pier, are actually set so they only produce a strong grip 1 in 10 times. So no matter how good you are at positioning the claw, it will fail to keep hold of the prize nine times out of ten.

That this is a known practice and yet not deemed illegal is astonishing. Legalised fraud.

I think I read about it in the Panama Papers.

 

[Yossarian]

He wouldn't like Blackpool much and I'm glad.

I was going to suggest that he be exiled to Blackpool. Or Morecambe. Or NEW Brighton.

 

[Wilf]

I was going to suggest that he be exiled to Blackpool. Or Morecambe. Or NEW Brighton.

Redcar can be very vibrant at this time of year.

 

[NoXion]

I think Rhyl would be perfect for him.

 

[Vintage Paw]

Don't know about them but claw machines, of which there are lots on the pier, are actually set so they only produce a strong grip 1 in 10 times. So no matter how good you are at positioning the claw, it will fail to keep hold of the prize nine times out of ten.

That this is a known practice and yet not deemed illegal is astonishing. Legalised fraud.

Me and my friend Hayley, in the summer of I think it was 92, won 17 cuddly toys from the same claw machine in Mumbles.

When we walked away, we looked back and saw a very irate manager tampering with the machine.

When we tried again later in the week we didn't get a thing.

 

[Favelado]

Oh well, he lives in a second-rate version of New York. Punishment enough.

 

[FNG]

the gaps at the side of the table and under decorative faux bumpers ensure more money goes in than pays out, took me a while to notice that was how the game was loaded in the house favour, thinking about it since the size and number of gaps could be tailored to manufacturers requirements why some tables always seemed luckier than others.regardless the best time to quit is after a big payout.

 

[FNG]

Don't know about them but claw machines, of which there are lots on the pier, are actually set so they only produce a strong grip 1 in 10 times. So no matter how good you are at positioning the claw, it will fail to keep hold of the prize nine times out of ten.

That this is a known practice and yet not deemed illegal is astonishing. Legalised fraud.

There's a dial inside the machine to adjust grip strength and how long it holds prize so the house can determine payout,from practically never to prize every time for prizes that are lower than the stake, if machine is regularly paying out prizes worth more than the stake chances are its been tampered with by a disgruntled or incompetent employee

 

[FNG]

I think the reason the law doesn't see it as fraud is games of chance are not legally enforceable in a court of law.
Same with fruit machines .

 

[NoXion]

I think the reason the law doesn't see it as fraud is games of chance are not legally enforceable in a court of law.
Same with fruit machines .

It's not a game of chance if it's rigged though is it?

 

[FNG]

take it up with trading standards if you think i am lying,

 

[FNG]

actually fuck it heres the rules,governed by the gambling commission ergo it is legally defined as a game of chance
here http://www.gamblingcommission.gov.uk/pdf/Fairs-and-fairgrounds-quick-guide.pdf

Fruit machines,Coin Drop and prize grab machines are all classified as category d gaming machines.

technically since the 2005 gaming act gambling contracts are legally enforceable, although first a complainant has to go through ADR Alternative Dispute Resolution entity before recourse to court.

 

[FNG]

It's not a game of chance if it's rigged though is it?

Yes it is,one in which the odds of the drop of the coin aligning with a mechanical payout can be manually adjusted.machines that relied on skill alone would soon become loss makers as a competent player could clean out a machine in short order.
Machine operators would argue that operating costs (electricity,space,start up cost set against footfall are all valid reasons why machines have to be specifically calibrated to circumstance.

 

[likesfish]

Classic artisan Brighton tosser*should be forced to run the dolphin derby next bank holiday weekend .
Might have to interact with people who dont wear artisan clothing.


* their are many other types of tosser but you have to feel the organic vibrancy of our handcrafted artisan tossers

 

[Ted Striker]

Don't know about them but claw machines, of which there are lots on the pier, are actually set so they only produce a strong grip 1 in 10 times. So no matter how good you are at positioning the claw, it will fail to keep hold of the prize nine times out of ten.

That this is a known practice and yet not deemed illegal is astonishing. Legalised fraud.

Wow...I'm normally on top of this kind of thing but I never considered this! Good knowledge!

(and what wankers . One thing to do it to adults, but it takes a special kind of nastypieceofwork to work on something to rip of kids!)

 

[equationgirl]

Nicholas Lezard: "I remember eating the best fish & chips ever on the pier & thinking: this place could really do with a small conference venue"

Not that I'm a fan of lezard but that's quite funny

 

[Fedayn]

his suggestion for improving the pier is a Michelin starred restaurant (whats wrong with fish & chips and whelks and candyfloss??) and a conference venue and some wank about somewhere for artists to start out

It has a massive conference centre, plenty of good restaurants and fairly good art links via the college.

 

[keybored]

I was going to suggest that he be exiled to Blackpool. Or Morecambe. Or NEW Brighton.

Redcar can be very vibrant at this time of year.

I think Rhyl would be perfect for him.

Who are the snobs now?

 

[NoXion]

Who are the snobs now?

I've had great fun in Rhyl, but I imagine it would be hell for him.

 

[Dogsauce]

Maybe the article is some kind of conceptual artwork about pomposity, pulling people's chains? It's hard to believe people exist that would openly display that sort of attitude unless a) they're paid for clickbait or b) they're just on a wind-up. Are we the idiots, moaning about it and sharing it?

 

[Greebo]

I've had great fun in Rhyl, but I imagine it would be hell for him.

Wonder how he'd like Barry Island?

 

[Louis MacNeice]

Wonder how he'd like Barry Island?

About as much as he'd like Barry Chuckle.

Cheers - Louis MacNeice

 

[Pickman's model]

i would be reluctant to go on a vibrant pier lest it shake itself apart

 

[friedaweed]

Brighton Fringe director threatened with violence over pier comments

Utter cock.

“Also for the record the reference to Primark, Sports Direct and coaches was entirely directed at the thousands of teenage foreign students that pass my window between their visit to the Pavilion, those shops, on their way to the pier and back to their coaches, not as some snobbish reference, more to direct attention to the day-tripper market being dominant, rather than somewhere that more local residents might wish to go to on a regular basis.

“I also wish I hadn’t said the M word for a restaurant- just somewhere nice to eat on the pier would be amazing. I’ve never even ever been to a Michelin star restaurant. Basically more diverse attractions to get even more people than currently go.

Utter back peddling cock.

 

[Louis MacNeice]

Brighton Fringe director threatened with violence over pier comments

Utter cock.

He hasn't made things any better with that dishonest pile of garbage; highlights including, 'I didn't mean it', 'I sent it to the wrong person' and 'I was talking about foreigners'.

Cheers - Louis MacNeice

 

[krtek a houby]

I like Brighton. People are very friendly there.

 

[Wilf]

Who are the snobs now?

Not me, Redcar is our nearest seaside town, we go there a couple of times a month. Were thinking of moving there a couple of years back.

 

[Favelado]

I got over my initial enthusiasm for "Penny Falls" , at the age of eight, when the pennies didn't drop as I had expected.

You need to do it the way my cousin did. Smash the glass open with your fist (covered by a ski jacket for protection) and then swipe all the 10p coins into a fold in your jumper. 20 quid in 20 seconds and a nice day's work for an eleven year old.