Probably doesn't compare to the anguish of having your son or father vaporised by some cunt in a helicopter for the sake of a photo op.
I mean if my mum had been smashed into foie gras because some people wanted a photo of her I'd be less inclined to pander to the press but that's just me.
Of course it doesn’t, I agree. But being fucked up by one thing doesn’t mean you won’t fuck up yourself in another way. And I’m guessing the press thing is complicated. He may want to tell it to fuck off but on another level he possibly craves its approval, at a level he’s probably not consciously aware of. Same is likely to go for his family.
And of course he’s going to be troubled. There’s all the hierarchy and brotherly comparison mentioned. From the impression given of his dad and grandparents it doesn’t sound like there’s been a lot of warmth there, both through absence (physical and emotional) and protocols. No idea what his mum would have been like but she died when he was 12, at the cusp of adolescence, in a horribly public way.
Did he go to boarding school at some point? There’s a whole thread in nobbing and sobbing talking about how vile those places are. Then there’s the question of how military training and experience would have impacted an already quite fragile psyche, even one bolstered by all that financial and cultural privilege.
Then there’s a whole load of unknown stuff to us about his basic personality, including whether he tends to see things positively or negatively, how easily anxious and/or angry he gets, how sensitive he is in general, how he holds on to resentments etc. And the impact of having to put on a public facade and push his own feelings aside, as he will no doubt have had to do, is huge.
The idea he suffers as a spare is such bollocks, like he's been deprived of some genuine right rather than falling just short of a ridiculous privilege.
Not quite the same thing but there are families who have another child to help an older child’s health condition (bone marrow transplant for example) and the later feelings around that can be hugely complicated, and need to be very carefully managed. And I somehow doubt that anyone around Harry was thinking about these sorts of things, even if the spare thing was only talked about as a joke. Things adults see as jokes can be interpreted by children very differently.
I personally wouldn’t want to change places with him, despite the eye watering wealth. At all. He’s certainly not the only person to go through harmful experiences and he’s had a massive practical and financial back up that only a tiny minority have. But the flip side of that privilege is that when you do implode, you do it very messily all over the public eye.
Tl;dr: he’s probably very troubled for some really complicated reasons