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Prince Andrew, Duke of York, named in underage 'sex slave' lawsuit

seeformiles said:
He’s costing us much less at the moment given he can’t really leave the UK to play golf with despots and sex offenders on our dime.
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Apart from being a sex offender - that's quite a way to start a sentence, I realise - he really is an all round scumbag, a scumbag for all seasons. Him and sarah ferguson were one of the most appalling grasping couple's, all entitlement and thievery, from the public purse or on the back of royal connections. Then there's his palling up to a range of murderous regimes, as you say. I seem to recall a bit of arms dealing as well. He benefits from the very worst of Britain, the old money and obsequious shite of royalty, allied with greasing the wheels of neo-liberalism.
 
equationgirl said:
I suspect he'll get the Duke of Windsor treatment sooner or later and get shunted off somewhere out of the way. Less glamourous than the Bahamas of course.

Swiftly followed by reports of his death, although really he will have been shipped to South Georgia for inpenguination.
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Liked mostly for the realisation that U75 has now adopted and normalised Pickman's model fabulous word inpenguination to describe the fate of the former people.
:thumbs:
 
I just spied dear old sweaters noncimus on the campaign ground roaming scattered and confused drinking tramp super on a park bench in Nuneaton through my field glasses and my Edward Snowden satellite sonar Stasi surveillance systems and he was absolutely rapt to attention reading Ben Johnson's "Sejanus His Fall" to prepare his dazzling brilliant defence case shown pictures of him perspiring like Serena Williams after a brutal victory against Garbine Muguruza and the evidence to prove conclusively that he has never stepped foot in Pizza Express in Woking in his little lifetime because he was too busy romping around Tokyo like Godzilla having sex with 1000 women. I hope he didn't try it on with poor old Emily Maitlis after the poor woman had to sit in the same room as sweatington bear and endure the utter fucking dross gushing out of his fucking dreadful cakehole like oil surging out of the ground in Pennsylvania in the late 19th century.

It is all rather entertaining though one must keep sober and think of the poor women involved.
 
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Argonia said:
I just spied dear old sweaters noncimus on the campaign ground through my field glasses and my Edward Snowden satellite sonar Stasi surveillance systems and he was absolutely rapt to attention reading Ben Johnson's "Sejanus His Fall" to prepare his dazzling brilliant defence case shown pictures of him perspiring like Serena Williams after a brutal victory against Garbine Muguruza and the evidence to prove conclusively that he has never stepped foot in Pizza Express in Woking in his little lifetime because he was too busy romping around Tokyo like Godzilla having sex with 1000 women
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Nope. Read this twice, still none the wiser :)
 
eatmorecheese said:
Nope. Read this twice, still none the wiser :)
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Do keep up old chap. Get to Specsavers fast and pop your new lorgnettes on in your Royal Opera House window seat, read it again, and have another go. I'm sure genius Prince Andrew would grasp it in a nano-second with his Harold Wilson first at Jesus college Oxford.

I'm just saying that sweaters is in hotter water than a poor outclassed besieging army attempting to scale a castle they have not studied in depth while the defenders pour boiling oil all over them, slam down the fucking portcullis hard, and ensure the keep is safe and secure.
 
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Prince Andrew just had another James Joycean epiphany in his careful reading of "Finnegan's Wake" and his defence case has just ramped up a gear with his new claim that the universe is really an illusion and is the veil of maya and that the 1000 women he had sex with were all computer simulations in the Truman Show.

Boy is he going to be on fire when legal genius Mike Mansfield lurches into him in a very loud falsetto that melts poor Andrew's quark sized brain with sharp attacks in the courtroom like the Allied forces crashing into Mussolini's collapsing Republic of Salo

It's going to be a great watch on GB News with a roaringly drunk Nigel Farage doing the voiceover in his fluent Mandarin.

Andrew is going to be sweating so hard a new River Danube will open up in the courtroom and we will all die of climate change floods.
 
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Developments in North Korean Britain are moving fast.

Prince Andrew just got an honorary degree from the University of Dundee for his services to the 1000 women he has had sex with and an A* grade at A-level like the 1 in 6 students who cannot read or write the letter a let alone the full English alphabet but who all got given A*s at A-level anyway because we are the most successful education system in the world and rightly are absolutely rock bottom of the Pearson Index one step behind much more successful North Korea. Our education system is so successful we have just gone into inverse territory at the Pearson index and disappeared into a Hiernonymous Bosch depiction of hell.

Any day now we will win the Euros against a far superior Italian team and lurch up to the top of the Pearson index like Usain Bolt on a massive amphetamine sulphate bender when our brilliant students finally grasp that 2+3 is 5 and win an Olympic gold in snakes and ladders. We are such a brilliant and talented country us North Koreans with our superb Kim Jong Un Thought promulgated by wise leaders Boris and Thatcherite Starmer both of whom grasp that inflation is running at 753% and unemployment is at 4 billion.

Incredible genius Rishi Sunak is on the case at the brilliant Bank of England where chimpanzees play with abacuses made of swiss cheese to work out inflation rates and is sorting out inflation fast by sleeping all day in a hammock engorged with mangoes and filled up with rum and coke and failing to open any of his red boxes at all just as brilliant genius and climate change denier Nigel Lawson didn't manage to do a stroke of work in the fabulously successful 1980s because he was so busy with Jeffrey Archer at Cynthia Payne's brothel getting flogged like a Tudor vagrant by Chief Whip of the wonderfully talented Conservative Party Frank Bough.

Meanwhile Richard Branson doesn't realise that the socialists are annexing the country fast at the ballot box and Dennis Healey will soon ramp up super rich tax rates to 95% to fund the NHS and Branson will be left in a homeless hostel in Barbados with a bag of peanuts to his name and a vague intuition that his memory of his little Yuri Gagarin dash into the cosmos might have been an illusion after all just as Tony Blair in his prison cell in the Hague's Prisoner Cell Block H complex will soon forget the name of Cherie and won't recall at all what colour her silk bloomers were in the good old days in his Stalin dacha on the Black Sea Coast with his daily arguments with incredibly brilliant Iron Chancellor Gordon Brown who really got to grips with the 215% inflation rate in his superb time in charge.
 
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equationgirl said:
I suspect he'll get the Duke of Windsor treatment sooner or later and get shunted off somewhere out of the way. Less glamourous than the Bahamas of course.

Swiftly followed by reports of his death, although really he will have been shipped to South Georgia for inpenguination.
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Give him a ship in Sligo. There's precedent for retiring dubious Mountbattens in that part of the world.
 
Brilliant John Nash genius Andrew who has just soiled his lovely cashmere Union Jack boxer shorts is preparing for his little trip on the HMS Titanic steered by Captain Haddock Farage to New York by revisiting his teenage listening to Minor Threat in Buck House.

He listened to their commandments to not drink and to not sleep around with complete dilligence so he could keep a completely lucid mind.

The billions watching on TV around the world will be roaring support for the man who has single-handedly solved the climate emergency by having sex with 1000 women. Greta Thunberg will go on the Titanic and will be in the public gallery urging support for every brilliant claim in his truly and utterly dazzling defence case including his new claim that the earth is flat and that proves he is innocent and his lawyer David Icke's claim that Covid is a hoax by Bill Gates and that proves that Lee Harvey Oswald was innocent.

He is going to absolutely walk this case. It's like Mandela's long walk to freedom. He is going to love the smell of the fresh air outside Wormwood Scrubs when he is at liberty to eat ice creams and have sex with another 100,000,000 women in order to bring carbon dioxide down from its 4.6 million year apex. I am sure that once he is a totally free man Andrew the genius will form a wrestling tag team at Cop-26 at the front of the atrium with utter genius Donald Trump who will fix the climate crisis with his brilliant analysis that climate change is a hoax made up by the Chinese backed up by brilliant genius James Delingpole who will point out superbly that the planet isn't on fire at all even though it is now 147,027,126 degrees celsius in Siciliy.

North Korean Britain is so completely and entirely impressive.All 65 million people, 1 in 6 of whom can't read the alphabet, are all complete geniuses. It's a complete utopia.

 
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Argonia said:
Brilliant John Nash genius Andrew who has just soiled his lovely cashmere Union Jack boxer shorts is preparing for his little trip on the HMS Titanic steered by Captain Haddock Farage to New York by revisiting his teenage listening to Minor Threat in Buck House.

He listened to their commandments to not drink and to not sleep around with complete dilligence so he could keep a completely lucid mind.

The billions watching on TV around the world will be roaring support for the man who has single-handedly solved the climate emergency by having sex with 1000 women. Greta Thunberg will go on the Titanic and will be in the public gallery urging support for every brilliant claim in his truly and utterly dazzling defence case including his new claim that the earth is flat and that proves he is innocent and his lawyer David Icke's claim that Covid is a hoax by Bill Gates and that proves that Lee Harvey Oswald was innocent.

He is going to absolutely walk this case. It's like Mandela's long walk to freedom. He is going to love the smell of the fresh air outside Wormwood Scrubs when he is at liberty to eat ice creams and have sex with another 100,000,000 women in order to bring carbon dioxide down from its 4.6 million year apex. I am sure that once he is a totally free man Andrew the genius will form a wrestling tag team at Cop-26 at the front of the atrium with utter genius Donald Trump who will fix the climate crisis with his brilliant analysis that climate change is a hoax made up by the Chinese backed up by brilliant genius James Delingpole who will point out superbly that the planet isn't on fire at all even though it is now 147,027,126 degrees celsius in Siciliy.

North Korean Britain is so completely and entirely impressive.All 65 million people, 1 in 6 of whom can't read the alphabet, are all complete geniuses. It's a complete utopia.

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Give it a rest FFS!
 
Sasaferrato said:
Give it a rest FFS!
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I'll leave Andrew to the judges to determine whether he is guilty or innocent and there will not be a single word further from me on this thread.

My only concern now I have just joined the police force is to find Tony Blair and arrest him for his trial in the Hague.

I am on the case.

Over and out.

From a police constable on the beat aiming for Chief Constable of Northumbria Police after the cuffs are applied by my efficious colleague Miss Marple

In the CCTV control room right now

If we finally nab him after all these long years I'll be perfectly civil to him because guilt has to be proved in a court of law and will personally brew him up a nice cup of tea and let him read his rights in the secure cell
 
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Argonia said:
I just spied dear old sweaters noncimus on the campaign ground roaming scattered and confused drinking tramp super on a park bench in Nuneaton through my field glasses and my Edward Snowden satellite sonar Stasi surveillance systems and he was absolutely rapt to attention reading Ben Johnson's "Sejanus His Fall" to prepare his dazzling brilliant defence case shown pictures of him perspiring like Serena Williams after a brutal victory against Garbine Muguruza and the evidence to prove conclusively that he has never stepped foot in Pizza Express in Woking in his little lifetime because he was too busy romping around Tokyo like Godzilla having sex with 1000 women. I hope he didn't try it on with poor old Emily Maitlis after the poor woman had to sit in the same room as sweatington bear and endure the utter fucking dross gushing out of his fucking dreadful cakehole like oil surging out of the ground in Pennsylvania in the late 19th century.

It is all rather entertaining though one must keep sober and think of the poor women involved.
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Lorem Ipsum?
 
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