Thank you for that - I had an uneasiness about his notion of "enthusiastic" consent, but just couldn't put my finger on what it was about that assumption that sounded a discordant note. But yes, that was it - a binary notion of consent.
Far too much hair. Also, everyone else seemed to fancy her, and I always was one for the underdog
(only half joking!)
Sprang to mind while putting the kettle on
oh dearMy first crush was Lady Di
i find the music they went onto in she sham pistols, the professionals, chequered past and (in jones' case) as a solo musician really rather underrated. jones's descent into and recovery from heroin addiction is in itself noteworthy, and i think this is mirrored in his solo albums mercy and fire and gasoline
I wasn't interested in boys my age at all. Past middle school, I can only remember one crush on a school boy and he was from the grammar.
Not just these particular people but I'd bet any group of young adults given that much power and ego stroking. The parts of our brains responsible for control and reasoning don't finish developing till your mid-20s on average. They really shouldn't be trusted to. (Note that this does not account for those adult rock/pop stars who continue to target young fans.)
In terms of the analogue, I think there are real differences though. It's 3 decades since I've been the relevant age and I haven't had kids, so I'm pretty much detached from all this. However it seems there are real differences in the gendered experiences of fandom (either teeny or teenage). Seems to me, from Elvis through to David Cassidy to Bieber, female fandom has been tightly shaped into a kind of collective yearning by the music press and promoters - something that could be shared in schools as the stereotypical pining, using posters and sharing every bit of information (even if the final bit has changed in an internet age). For boys, there was certainly lust - and a lust you could share to some extent with other boys - about female stars. However it just wasn't the same - it was less 'dependent', less of an identity.I think that there is a male analogue - many adolescent boys would have had posters of particular female stars on their bedroom walls (or, if they were somewhat shyer *cough* just have carried a torch for one). I think there is a difference: it seems that we might well have quite deliberately chosen targets for our youthful obsessions that were even more unattainable than rock stars! I think that's probably true for most girls, too - I don't imagine that a very large proportion of girls with David Cassidy (or Justin Bieber) posters on their walls would actually wish to end up having sex with them.
And, by the time boys have reached the same level of emotional maturity as girls (I've seen it suggested that boys might attain the level of emotional maturity girls exhibit at 14-15 by their very late teens or early 20s), they're significantly older, and less prone to having their naivete taken advantage of.
I can remember, as a fairly young person, seeing footage of girls at Beatles concerts - that classic shot of young teenage girls in Edna Everage glasses tearing at their hair, sobbing, and being carried, limp, from the auditorium - and being quite shocked and utterly perplexed by what was going on. Even as an adult, I find it difficult to relate to the kind of emotional state that was being demonstrated in that footage, but it's undeniable it went on, and still, perhaps to a slightly less intense level, does.
As a middle-aged man now (grrrr
40 is the new 30 etc), the idea of seeing someone under 30 feels a bit wrong. The idea of seeing anyone under 20 feels very wrong.
As her biographer put it*
I really doubt that magazines aimed at younger teens now would be talking about sex and getting drunk the way they did in Mates. They also wouldn't feature girls in suggestive poses with pop stars (I know the models were older than 16 but the readership was definitely younger.
Also other power inbalances, any students I teach will be over 18 but (quite rightly) I'm not allowed to have a sexual relationship with them.
Jesus, really?
i am disappointed you have not suggested malcolm maclaren was in some way an abuser being as his shop sold cambridge rapist t-shirts.
I suspect fandom has changed due to 15/20 years of the internet, more interactive more knowing. That may have had some impact on power relationships (I genuinely don't know). I'd also guess that the Savile revelations and wave of DJ trials has sent a waves of terror through the music industry, quite a few managers, dealers and musicians looking over their shoulders. I'd also guess that labels and management companies have been panicked into action in a few cases and even taken on board some lawyerly advice about liability. Having said all that, along with the BBC and other organisations, there's been a slow shift in the culture anyway from the 70s, even if it has a way to go. [middle aged speculation ends]
It would certainly have the potential to be unequal, but not automatically so in a power imbalance sort of way. I would say this, though, given that at 38 I had a relationship of a few months with a 23-year-old, based on lust, some common interests and friendship. It couldn't have lasted because there obviously were differences in stage and experience but when that started to become a problem, we ended it (and are still good friends). I do think it would have had more potential to be concerning if our genders were reversed, just because of the structural inequalities that exist. But I do agree with your general point.
