people who drink mellow birds

[Belushi]

Nya, Good Sir, nay!

Why, there is indeed an infinitely worse, more vile and disgusting brew than Mellow Birds (as revolting as Mellow Birds undoubtedly is). 'Tis a brew made of Satan's dropping stirred into Satan's own urine and left to blend into what is truly a form of Distilled Evilness that only the most Godless and foulest of heathens would consider drinking themselves, let alone offering to their guest (a more unforgivable insult cannot be concieved by the mind of man, methinks).

Ladies, Gentlemen and those who aren't quite sure, I present to you...

Further debate on this issue is almost certainly unnecessary.

Good to see the old label and not the PC gorn mad modern travesty

 

[Herbsman.]

The instant custard in question is known simply as 'Birds', m'dear.

Incidentally, did you know that custard powder explodes when mixed with air and touched off with a cigarette lighter?

This scientific fact is not, however, best proven within the confined space of a kitchen in a student flat while extremely pissed and in the middle of a house party. That's one student place I'll never be invited to again.

most flammable powders will, including flour.

apparently aluminium nanoparticles are highly explosive too...

 

[UnderOpenSky]

The instant custard in question is known simply as 'Birds', m'dear.

Incidentally, did you know that custard powder explodes when mixed with air and touched off with a cigarette lighter?

This scientific fact is not, however, best proven within the confined space of a kitchen in a student flat while extremely pissed and in the middle of a house party. That's one student place I'll never be invited to again.

I thought we did some daft shit at ours, although if you'd have pulled that stunt, we'd have probably asked you to do it again in the front room.

 

[mrs quoad]

Nothing more to add, other than after a few months with only coffee/chicory mix to drink, Mellow Birds is not the bottom rung.

I'm genuinely intrigued by what 'mellow roasting' might be.

 

[stupid dogbot]

You roast the beans after a huge bong.

 

[kyser_soze]

I'm genuinely intrigued by what 'mellow roasting' might be.

You should watch the Private Gentleman's Interest video '2 Cocks in the Same Hole'

Mellow Birds is cak, but I'm generally in agreement with discokermit about coffee snobbery.

 

[northern_star]

mellow birds is fucking shite..it makes me feel angry just thinking about it, my manager drinks it, it sums up his whole persona; weak dick.
camp coffee on the other hand is awesome, love it, on ice cream, in homemade baileys and as a cold coffee. yum.

 

[5t3IIa]

There's some kind of squirting 'gag' here but I can't quite put my finger on it.

 

[Bakunin]

I thought we did some daft shit at ours, although if you'd have pulled that stunt, we'd have probably asked you to do it again in the front room.

Coffee creamer works really well too:

 

[likesfish]

foulest of foul coffees army coffee this is the reason squaddies drink vast quanties of tea the coffee is really really rank.

my granma drank birds but she was northan and in her 80s.
any normal person who still drinks it must be suspect

 

[pogofish]

I was offered a cup of Mellow Birds just a few minutes ago.

By a senior medic who also has three garden gnomes in her office!

I am now sitting with a reasonable real coffee and resisting the urge to kill someone/something!

 

[stupid dogbot]

Make one of the gnomes pay.

 

[pogofish]

I'd introduce all of the cheery little fuckers to a sledgehammer if I could. Grrrr!

 

[DotCommunist]

Mellow birds coffee advert promotes rubbish sex
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=274368468946

 

[kyser_soze]

Mellow birds coffee advert promotes rubbish sex
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=274368468946

Is that the mellow roasting Queen Lumley was talking about in the ad?

 

[SEnnazus]

I like Mellow Birds for the creamy mild flavour. It annoyed me how the instant aisle is now full of instant coffees pretending to be real baraista style or those awful cappuccinos that seem to have chemicals to make them foam. All I wanted was a good old fashioned MB or coffee and chicory.

 

[Idaho]

Searched for a thread on mellow birds?

 

[twentythreedom]

I like Mellow Birds for the creamy mild flavour. It annoyed me how the instant aisle is now full of instant coffees pretending to be real baraista style or those awful cappuccinos that seem to have chemicals to make them foam. All I wanted was a good old fashioned MB or coffee and chicory.

What did you end up buying?

 

[farmerbarleymow]

This.

See also, anything with Chicory in it.

Some hippy housemates in a shared house I lived in at uni used to buy jars of some monstrosity with chicory in it. Disgusting stuff.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Some hippy housemates in a shared house I lived in at uni used to buy jars of some monstrosity with chicory in it. Disgusting stuff.

Was it this stuff?

OK, so its caffeine free. But so is gravel, and gravel tastes better than this muck. Looks like little bits of dried rabbit shit as well.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Was it this stuff?

OK, so its caffeine free. But so is gravel, and gravel tastes better than this muck. Looks like little bits of dried rabbit shit as well.

Could have been, but I seem to recall it had green packaging and was more like coffee granules in appearance than the rabbit shit in that jar. Appropriate, given it was largely chopped up garden rubbish. I'm going to have to see if it is still on sale now, and post a picture of it.

 

[SpookyFrank]

This thread is really making me want a coffee, but it's 2.30 am

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Can't find the one I remember, but there are loads of weird varieties of 'coffee' out there. One of them, by a company called Prewetts, is 'free from chemicals'.

And doesn't this one look delicious!

 

[farmerbarleymow]

This thread is really making me want a coffee, but it's 2.30 am

I've just had an espresso, but then I'm up for the day. You could have a cup of chicory coffee, but interestingly it isn't safe during pregnancy.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I think it was something very similar to this filth:

But it's even started to invade tea, for fucks sake:

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Why on earth do people even think drinking this stuff is normal?

It's not coffee, as it hasn't got any coffee in it.

 

[skyscraper101]

Mellow Birds is too far for me but I really CBA with anything more complicated than Gold Blend in the morning so that's what I usually have.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Please tell me this is true! On the wiki page for chicory, it lists some examples, and one of them is called Muckefuck.

 

[fishfinger]

Please tell me this is true! On the wiki page for chicory, it lists some examples, and one of them is called Muckefuck.

It seems to be true

http://www.dw.de/muckefuck/a-6615948

 

[skyscraper101]

Speaking of wrong stuff... has anyone ever tried instant tea granules?