'My parents-in-law have gone back on a promise to give us their house' - heartbreaking story

[QueenOfGoths]

My own personal experience is that I contributed to household expenses when I lived at home and was working as did my brother. I wanted to, I didn't want my parents having to pay for everything also it made me feel as if I had some kind of autonomy rather than still feeling like a kid living at home. It certainly wasn't market rent though!

The expectation from parents and children are, I also feel, different. My parents I am sure would like to make provision for my brother and I but I would rather they spent money on themselves. I also know that after our own family experiences they do not want my brother and I to live with them or look after them, they want to go in a home.

 

[RubyBlue]

I cam imagine a scenario where this couple moved to a rented flat, let their son and his wife and their kids move into their house then she dumps the husband and gets to keep the house. Poor parents left out in the cold having to pay rent on the flat for the rest of their lives. They would be mental to let their son and his wife get their grubby mitts on their hard worked for house!

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

I think it would be really interesting to see some sociological studies of this. Sadly I don't think they exist so we can only really rely on anecdotes. Are my anecdotes more right or yours? Seems a stupid question, I think we can all agree that anecdotes in the grand scheme of things ain't worth shit. Mine, nor anyone else's but it seems all we've got!

I think generation (when you were born) might be a factor, as well as things like class, culture, government policies etc. Would be well interesting to find out anyway.

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

I cam imagine a scenario where this couple moved to a rented flat, let their son and his wife and their kids move into their house then she dumps the husband and gets to keep the house. Poor parents left out in the cold having to pay rent on the flat for the rest of their lives. They would be mental to let their son and his wife get their grubby mitts on their hard worked for house!

Yeah. Them evil wimminz. Only ever after hubbies money. The gold digging bitches!

 

[RubyBlue]

Wondered who would be the first to make that comment lol

 

[High Voltage]

There is a way to get round it. You have to gift it minimum 7 years before you pop your clogs. I think you sign over the deeds. I read about it once, can't remember the details but it's how the super-rich get out of paying inheritance tax.

From memory this avoids the IHT - however, should one or both parents need any form of care then the question that gets asked by the SS is "have you EVER owned a property" there's no cut off point - if you have owned a property then the people or person you've gifted the property to have to make the payments - this is calculated on what is known as "notional income" which used to be £1 for every £250 of value of the asset over the minimum threshold, which when this happened to my parents was £3 or 6,000, I think that it's gone up now £16,000(?)

That's what happened many years ago with our family - we "kept" the family house but had to pay (by taking out a mortgage) £20k'odd to the SS for my mothers "half" of the house and we were looking at having to pay the same for my fathers "half" when he was unable to remain self funding

The laws around this have almost certainly been tightened from when we did this

 

[killer b]

Are my anecdotes more right or yours? Seems a stupid question, I think we can all agree that anecdotes in the grand scheme of things ain't worth shit. Mine, nor anyone else's but it seems all we've got!

How about 'do my anecdotes make more sense than yours'? Why would someone pay market rent to live in their childhood bedroom, when they could pay market rent in a house where their parents don't live? I'm sure it happens, but it certainly isn't widespread. Adults who live with their parents do so out of necessity, not choice (on the whole).

I guess paying off your parent's BTL mortgage when you stand to inherit the house when they kark it is probably more common. But in that case, I can't really see you'd have much cause to complain.

 

[mauvais]

From memory this avoids the IHT - however, should one or both parents need any form of care then the question that gets asked by the SS is "have you EVER owned a property" there's no cut off point - if you have owned a property then the people or person you've gifted the property to have to make the payments

AIUI, this is only the case if you deliberately deprive yourself of assets in order to change the settlement (in this case qualifying for care benefit), just as it would be in other contexts like divorce. I don't believe that gifts in the distant past would affect this.

Long-term care | Generic Wealth Management Blog

The local authority has no power to claim money owed to them from a person to whom assets were given or sold if the assets were transferred longer than six months before the original owner enters the home. However, they may still decide that the transfer was made with the intent of avoiding paying fees for a place in a home, and may say that the original owner has ‘notional’ capital or income. They could therefore charge the original owner for home fees although, to date, there do not yet appear to be many instances in England where local authorities have used this power. The existing case law in both England and Scotland however provides some useful guidance for both local authorities and for individuals advising on these matters.

 

[krtek a houby]

 

[Dogsauce]

It's all cockney from Milton Keynes down. Even in Brighton they still have a stupid accent.

 

[Pickman's model]

anyway: guardian shit thread >>>

 

[coley]

yes but you're missing the thrust of this thread. which is that it's basically ok for our generation to have all the pies, and we're encouraged to blow the lot while we can. So get on and do it, but pause for thought, just think how much bingo that involves before ruling out the drugs and kinky sex completely!

ps loving the dialect, I read all your posts with an incomprehensible accent

No bingo, just extended trips to NZ and as much wine as I can guzzle

 

[Puddy_Tat]

Y'see? That's cultural war for you, the fine and ancient heritage of SE London eclipsed by Cockney wankers and commuters. We may have to follow the Welsh and start burning holiday/btl homes.

independent republic of catford now...

 

[coley]

Really? How many families do you know in the UK that gift their houses to their kids while they are still alive and live together? I don't know any.

The expectation in the UK that at 18 you move out and get your own place (though the council, private or otherwise) has seemed pretty widespread to me. I thought it was a common assumption that the British are obsessed with property ownership and the "housing ladder" (stairway to nowhere).

I guess it might depend on your generation how obvious it is.. When house prices were relatively affordable, there was no BTL, people took on lodgers and there was a big council housing stock, I don't think It would have been as noticeable. You just moved out and did your thing (from those 10+ years my senior). Nowadays anyone of my British friends still living with their parents (I'm 30 btw) pays market rents for their room. The thing about £1700 for the family home was not pulled out my arse. I know someone currently doing that - their mum retired in France.

It' all anecdotes but where I'm from in Zone 3 London it seems pretty much the done thing.

Does this mean I should be charging grandson/ nephews rent?

Only problem with " gifting" your house in advance is once it's someone's else's property you have no guarantee they will honour their side of the bargain.

 

[coley]

Yeah. Them evil wimminz. Only ever after hubbies money. The gold digging bitches!

Aye, but it nearly happened to us, my eldests first wife had us weighted up to the last penny, and even tried to get extra out of him in the divorce settlement based on his expected inheritance.

 

[spanglechick]

When I got my first proper job, my mum said I could live there rent-and-bills free for six months, to allow me to save a bit, but warned me that after this she'd charge market rent. It wasn't greed: she didn't want my money- she wanted me to leave home and begin an independent life. Her rationale was that if she didn't charge her kids eventually, we'd get used to treating our entire wages as disposable income, and never be able to afford the lifestyle-demotion necessitated by paying our own way.


Otoh, she made a contribution to our deposit a few years ago, so we could buy.

*shrug* ime, parents often do things that promote their values. For my parents, independence was important when we were younger, and owning your own place was always the top aspiration.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Prejudice against cunts who think their inlaws should give them a free house - the last (entirely) acceptable prejudice.

Damn right!

 

[kabbes]

Indeed, spanglechick. Personally, I can't think of anything more disastrous for your kids than teaching them to be permanently dependent on you. That's a recipe for long term dissatisfaction and ennui.

 

[butchersapron]

Indeed, spanglechick. Personally, I can't think of anything more disastrous for your kids than teaching them to be permanently dependent on you. That's a recipe for long term dissatisfaction and ennui.

Not to mention lassitude.

 

[kabbes]

Not to mention lassitude.

Good word, BA. Good word.

 

[LoJack]

OMFG. sadly, the letter was written by my sister. and i was incredibly annoyed about it. and told her so.

 

[LoJack]

i really can't believe this has actually started to move beyond the guardian... shite.

 

[LoJack]

I *really* wish it was fake....

 

[twentythreedom]

How awful are they really?

 

[LoJack]

the parents or my sister?

 

[twentythreedom]

the parents or my sister?

All of them. Tell me.

 

[LoJack]

well, not having met the PILs, i can only say that i agreed with the general sentiment of the reply that the guardian gave.....
honest, i love my sister, but fer fucks sake.....

 

[killer b]

Could you persuade her onto urban to do an AQA?

 

[LoJack]

AQA?

 

[FabricLiveBaby!]

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