8ball
Decolonise colons!
You quoted the sweetened almond milk ingredients, mentioned nutrition and referred to it as "thickened water with calcium and chemically-synthesized vitamins," so silly me thought that was the one single almond milk out of many that you wanted to talk about. If you want to talk about almond milk in general, perhaps you should look at the alternatives that don't fit your damning dismissal.
Maybe it would go better for you if you tried re-reading posts after a nice cup of tea and a sit down.