gentlegreen
I hummus, therefore I am ...
.
Last edited:
Men’s violence against women and girls is a national emergency
- Thread starter ElizabethofYork
- Start date
trashpony
Hag
Looking at photos of the kids and their surname, I’d say that’s unlikely. Can we not distract this thread by trying to divert discussion into race please.
gentlegreen
I hummus, therefore I am ...
Her Facebook page is still up ...
I know it was a bit naive - but I hope this tragedy - so soon after the Stockport one gets an appropriate amount of coverage in the media ...
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
trashpony
Hag
Whatever coverage it gets, it looks like it’s family annihilation. Family annihilators often get a positive spin in MSM because they put a sympathetic spin on a man who she’d upset. I don’t know what the story is behind this but I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d either broken up with her kids’ dad or started a new relationship.
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
"All Lives Matter":
29 May 2024: Black women in London face higher femicide rates, new figures reveal
6 August 2024: Black women need Black men to help stop femicide ‘crisis’ say campaigners
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
The Late Stephanie Marie.
(Source: Eddie Mitchell)
Earlier today, Jason Pascal Flore appeared at Lewes Crown Court charged with the murder of Stephanie Marie and he has been remanded in custody. Jason Pascal Flore will next appear in court in November and a trial has been provisionally listed for February 2025.
trashpony
Hag
What is your point GarveyLives?
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
A man has been arrested after a woman and three children killed in a house fire.
Murder arrest after four die in Bradford house fire
A 29-year-old woman and three children died following the blaze in Bradford, police say.www.bbc.co.uk
It has now been reported that fire victim, The Late Bryonie Gawith, was allegedly strangled and assaulted by a man less than a month ago.
Jonathan Birtle appeared before Bradford and Keighley Magistrates Court accused of intentionally strangling Miss Gawith at the same house where she subsequently died in the same fire that also resulted in the death of her three children.
Jonathan Birtle was also accused of assaulting her at same the property on the same day, and also faces a third charge of stealing Miss Gawith’s iPhone. All three offences are alleged to have taken place on 27 July 2024. His address on court documents was given as the same house where the fatal fire occurred, and he was remanded in custody and was consequently in prison when Miss Gawith and their three young children were killed in thefire in the early hours of 21 August 2024. He is due to appear before Bradford Crown Court on 27 August 2024.
A man who was also critically injured in the fatal fire, was arrested on suspicion of murder and is currently in a critical condition in hospital.
Winot
I wholeheartedley agree with your viewpoint
I thought this call out to men was pretty good:
www.linkedin.com
Lee Chambers on LinkedIn: Most comedians love a bit of casual sexism But watch this video Because… | 97 comments
Most comedians love a bit of casual sexism But watch this video Because it's so rare that you will see a comedian take the stage And use his skills to… | 97 comments on LinkedIn
LakieLady
Well-Known Member
I wonder how many parents of boys have conversations with their sons about this sort of stuff? On the few occasions that I've discussed it with friends who have sons, they've all been a bit taken aback and said that they'd never considered it or thought it necessary. But all these men who kill, rape and assault women were little boys once, and I daresay their parents never thought it was necessary, either.
trashpony
Hag
I do.
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
Meanwhile, priorities:
Rape cases delayed as police sent to football matches – watchdog
Report finds officers are having to cancel appointments with victims and delay making arrests.
www.bbc.co.uk
Aaronf
159.9 a litre
9yo this time 
What on earth is going on??
Christchurch man charged with attempted murder after child stabbed
Jordan Wilkes, who is 28 and from Christchurch, is charged with attempted murder.
www.bbc.co.uk
What on earth is going on??
On the subject of football, Kiernan Hughes-Mason, who played for Hashtag United, has been arrested for cruelty to a child. His two-year-old stepdaughter. It's...pretty horrific. She's going to need constant care for the rest of her life.
Of course the comments on r/soccer are the usual 'hope he gets beaten up in prison' bullshit. Not that I'd feel sad if anything happens to him but for fuck's sake, stop with the glorification of prison violence. No amount of male violence is going to make that poor little girl better.
Of course the comments on r/soccer are the usual 'hope he gets beaten up in prison' bullshit. Not that I'd feel sad if anything happens to him but for fuck's sake, stop with the glorification of prison violence. No amount of male violence is going to make that poor little girl better.
polly
Well-Known Member
Same here. I don't really know how much good it does though. This behaviour is points on a spectrum, isn't it, and our sons absorb misogyny from elsewhere.
Poot
My wife thinks I work too hard
I talk to my boy, too. Even about nuanced things like conversations he's had with his girlfriend when he may have said something hurtful. But I'm very lucky that he talks to me - if he'd been brought up in a household where my opinion counted for nothing, he definitely wouldn't ask. It would be a vicious circle.
BristolEcho
Well-Known Member
It definitely needs to happen more both within families and the wider community. Men need to be taking a big role in that too. Acknowledging the issues within society that lead to misogynistic behaviour being dominant and how this leads to both psychological and physical abuse of Women and Girls.
For me one of the most important things that includes looking internally at our own behaviour and not just thinking that we are okay, and that our friends or children would never behave that way because we know them and trust them. I still hear people saying things like "Yeah his partner has accused him of domestic abuse, but he doesn't seem that type and he denys it" and that idea needs to be totally challenged, and shitty behaviour being dismissed due to intoxication. That abuse doesn't always have to be carried out physically, as the very threat of it is often enough to gain the control so many abusers seek and they will use it constantly, but he's never hit her... Right?
We also need to strongly challenge that when sexual assault is reported that so many men try to say shit like "It's really bad, but also so many women lie about it and it destroys lives" this really does my head in as I don't think there is any other crime where this is brought up so regularly.
I started this discussion on another site I use that is mainly male dominated and has many predictable threads that blame violence and abuse upon particular cohorts of the population, but rarely has any reflection on how the real common dominator is men. Predictably it didn't gain much traction, even the ones who responded well to the fact we needed to change things weren't really sure how to do it in practice.
I wrote in the far right thread that I was radicalised by growing up in a racist environment both close to home and in wider society, and the same was true for sexism and violence. I had much older people in my life that I saw as idols and peers, and from a young age women were promoted as sexualised objects to me and this was reinforced by the media and then the introduction of unrestricted internet access was another can of worms. There was rightly a lot of talk at the time about the impact that "lads mags" and modelling had upon negative self image of women, but I don't ever remember there being discussions about what the impact of giving young teenage boys and men this image of women was. Something to be leared at, a pat on the back from the adult in your life "she's got some big ones mind" and how this teaches you that women are there to be objectified. That's without even going into the male violence that I experienced from adult men and I wouldn't even say I had it that "bad" compared to many other children which considering it includes sexual assault shows how awful that is.
Then how we view relationships and how our partners and our female children become not their own person, but "our property" that we own and we must defend including with violence either towards others, or quite often towards the partner and child when they try to leave. Thinking here of all the weird men that say thing like "I would batter anyone who tried to mess with my daughter" or think they need to be asked permission for their daughter to get married. All of this shit reinforces the ideas of ownership and I am sure drives lots of men into rage when they find out thats not true and results in horrific murders because she dared to leave.
This post is long enough but I also read a support group for people trying to leave behind Incel groups and whilst I think the support group is very important it's also deeply depressing how boys are being targeted in this way. Lots of men and boys seem to think they have a right to have sex, or a relationship and it's unsurpising when it's the cultural narriative.
And all of this has an impact upon men and women from a young age and as I said in the other thread it takes proper work to deconstruct. I have behaved in awful ways in the past, I remember once assualting a woman in a club (we need to call it what it is) and I remember it vividly. That person very likely also remembers it, but I know from talking to others that it is one of 100s if not 1000's of times that it has happened to them and I have added another layer to the trauma that makes them feel unsafe in public and around men. So it was a single event for me that stands out, but will be melded into almost daily experiences for females. (Hope I've worded this right and the point I'm trying to make is coming across.)
I've also had to do a lot of work on my own emotions and thinking about how I act those emotions out and the impact on people around me. Without us looking at the full picture both internally and externally I don't think that we can start to unpick it and try to talk to other men and boys in our life. I think I recognise some of the patterns that led me to think that it was okay to behave in that way, and hope that gives me some insight into how to work with it when I do, but I still have work to do myself. I think to many men want to say they'd never hit women, and they'd call anyone (batter them) out if they did and that's the end of their role in this.
We could also probably have a discussion about how we as activists also promote violence and how we frame that. I believe in self defence and direct action, but I'm also concerned that when I became exposed to some forms of anti facism that I really took onboard the validity of violence as being acceptable and I think that messaging could be more nauenced.
Overriding all of that though before we even start talking to other men is we need to start listening to Women and Girls without getting defensive or trying to think that we aren't a part of the problem too.
Sorry that's a really long post! I've always read these threads and although I don't post as I want to listen they have led to conversations away from here.
polly
Well-Known Member
That's sort of what I meant too. It doesn't even need to be as bad as your opinion not counting, but so many people are invested in the status quo and most of them won't be beaten to death by a man, but it's all part of the same problem.
LakieLady
Well-Known Member
I tend to agree. It transcends class, ethnicity, age etc. I once had a client who had fled her abusive husband at the age of 77, he'd cracked her skull with his walking stick. He came from a very upper-middle background and had been a surgeon, but he'd been laying into his wife on a regular basis for over 50 years. She told me that he used to beat their children, too.
Fedayn
Well-Known Member
During the campaign against the Offensive Behaviour at Football Act this was raised and the police denied that resources are being or would ever be diverted in a similar fashion. No doubt they will reply that tis is English and Welsh constabularies and not Police Scotland, that is true but as you say it indicates the priorities that police have.Meanwhile, priorities:
Rape cases delayed as police sent to football matches – watchdog
Report finds officers are having to cancel appointments with victims and delay making arrests.www.bbc.co.uk
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
I did
kalidarkone
Bringing YOU round.....
Yep definitely. Have done and although he is 30 we still talk about it.
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
Andrew Milliner of Barclay Road, Croydon, who terrorised a woman by drowning her in a bath and slashing her wrist to the bone has now been imprisoned He has three previous convictions for assault, and four previous convictions for possessing offensive weapons and was also previously imprisoned for threatening violence with an imitation firearm, and more recently, for a burglary:
(Source: Metropolitan Police)
Jealous Croydon thug drowned woman in hotel bath and slashed her wrist to the bone
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
A vigil has now been held in memory of Mrs Alberta Obinim, who died in a knife attack in Barnard Road in Gorton, Manchester.
The Late Alberta Obinim who was killed last night in an attack at her home reportedly carried out by a 22 year-old man "known to her", which also left her husband and daughter injured.
A 22 year-old man who was originally arrested on suspicion of murder, has since been detained under the Mental Health Act and is currently under the care of mental health professionals
Raw grief and a sea of love in the face of unimaginable tragedy
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
Two men have been charged with murdering a mother and her three children after their home on Westbury Road, Bradford, was deliberately set alight in the early hours of 21 August 2024.
It has now been reported that fire victim, The Late Bryonie Gawith, was allegedly strangled and assaulted by a man less than a month ago.
Jonathan Birtle appeared before Bradford and Keighley Magistrates Court accused of intentionally strangling Miss Gawith at the same house where she subsequently died in the same fire that also resulted in the death of her three children.
Jonathan Birtle was also accused of assaulting her at same the property on the same day, and also faces a third charge of stealing Miss Gawith’s iPhone. All three offences are alleged to have taken place on 27 July 2024. His address on court documents was given as the same house where the fatal fire occurred, and he was remanded in custody and was consequently in prison when Miss Gawith and their three young children were killed in thefire in the early hours of 21 August 2024. He is due to appear before Bradford Crown Court on 27 August 2024.
A man who was also critically injured in the fatal fire, was arrested on suspicion of murder and is currently in a critical condition in hospital.
Mohammed Shabir, aged 44, of Alice Street, Keighley and Calum Sunderland, aged 25, of Calton Street, Keighley have both been charged with four counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.
The two men have been remanded in custody to appear at Bradford Magistrates Court tomorrow (Wednesday 28 August 2024).
Four other people remain under investigation as follows:
A 39-year-old man arrested at the scene on suspicion of murder remains in hospital in a critical condition.
A 36-year-old man arrested on Friday on suspicion of murder and attempted murder has been interviewed and released on conditional bail.
A 54-year-old woman and 42-year-old man arrested on Monday on suspicion of assisting an offender have been interviewed and released on bail.
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
This is interesting
'She estimates about 90% of her caseload is linked to psychological and controlling abuse'. That's an epidemic. What hope for women if society and the state doesn't recognise what's going on here? It's hard enough to recognise it yourself when it's happening to you. I had to call the police once because my ex locked me out of our flat and refused to respond to knocking, phone calls or texts. I was actually worried he was going to do or had already done something stupid to himself so it was a concern for a person callout in my head. When they turned up he opened the door to them and still refused to let me in and was rude and blunt. Once they had established that he was alive they took me outside, sat me in the car and told me they thought it was coercive control and they were recording it as a domestic abuse incident so there would be a record in case he escalated. I was pretty shocked at the time but a policeman saying that did begin to help me reframe what my ex was actually doing to me in my head and once seen you cannot unsee these things no matter how you want to. I did leave him in the end but it took another year and another incident that I should have called the police about but didn't where he locked me out again and this time threw bikes, clothing and furniture around too.
Social workers 'must be' taught to spot controlling behaviour, says abuse commissioner
Call for mandatory training to spot controlling behaviour, after BBC analysis of social-work courses.
www.bbc.co.uk
'She estimates about 90% of her caseload is linked to psychological and controlling abuse'. That's an epidemic. What hope for women if society and the state doesn't recognise what's going on here? It's hard enough to recognise it yourself when it's happening to you. I had to call the police once because my ex locked me out of our flat and refused to respond to knocking, phone calls or texts. I was actually worried he was going to do or had already done something stupid to himself so it was a concern for a person callout in my head. When they turned up he opened the door to them and still refused to let me in and was rude and blunt. Once they had established that he was alive they took me outside, sat me in the car and told me they thought it was coercive control and they were recording it as a domestic abuse incident so there would be a record in case he escalated. I was pretty shocked at the time but a policeman saying that did begin to help me reframe what my ex was actually doing to me in my head and once seen you cannot unsee these things no matter how you want to. I did leave him in the end but it took another year and another incident that I should have called the police about but didn't where he locked me out again and this time threw bikes, clothing and furniture around too.
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