Mad Paul Mason

[mauvais]

36. Impervious to flames
37. Will actually die rather than just appear to have died if stabbed with a dagger of purest gold

 

[DotCommunist]

39. Has danced with the devil in the pale moonlight

 

[mauvais]

I'm glad to see 38 got swiftly redacted.

 

[sunnysidedown]

40. Must display a natural touch when seen milking animals
41. Good strong arms for throwing quoits
42. Loves their mum

 

[chilango]

43. Can play up front or on the wing.

 

[chilango]

44. Has a clean driving license and is eligible to work in the UK.

 

[mauvais]

45. Has seen things no man (or beast) should see

 

[chilango]

46. GSOH. Looking for friendship, maybe more?

 

[Smokeandsteam]

47. Must never have been in an office. In their fucking life.

 

[JimW]

48. Able to perform a medley of left wing classics on the comb and paper, including, but not limited to, The Internationale, The Red Flag and Things Can Only Get Better.

 

[kebabking]

48. Able to perform a medley of left wing classics on the comb and paper, including, but not limited to, The Internationale, The Red Flag and Things Can Only Get Better.

48(ii). ability to perform, in addition to 48, My Old Mans a Dustman on the comb and paper, in a Northern tone.

 

[mauvais]

49. Can easily fight and win against, like, an ordinary fish or a medium sized bird, possibly even as much as a mid-level slightly reluctant dog or some sort of ovine, but ABSOLUTELY NOT under ANY circumstances likely to hold their own against an eagle, wild boar, eel (especially) or venomous toad.

 

[kebabking]

50. has no need of the Law Courts when someone says something nasty/true about them.

 

[Sue]

51. Can eat chips and hold a pint* like they've actually done it before.

*Other drinks also applicable.

 

[sunnysidedown]

52. doesn't shirk from the responsibility of buying a round.

 

[Wilf]

53. Have seen the world in a grain of sand
54. To have snogged all the Strictly judges, as far back as Len Goodman.
55. Must have a new workable solution to the cheese/beans conundrum.

 

[Libertad]

38. was must have seen things the electorate wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion and also watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.

 

[Louis MacNeice]

56. Must have a torture film, drive a GTO, wear a uniform, all on a government loan.

Cheers - Louis MacNeice

 

[elbows]

57. Looks good in a sidecar
58. Possesses sufficient trigonometry skills to avoid awkward breast high-fiving

 

[sunnysidedown]

59. Can eat six pickled eggs in a row without a drink

 

[LDC]

I really hope the responses on his Twitter are like this as well.

 

[elbows]

60. Looks like an omnipotent world king when pictured inside a lightbulb by the fucking Sun.

 

[kebabking]

61. You can Photoshop their face onto a character from Avengers and it looks better than the original.

 

[kebabking]

62. Can ride a horse while chopping wood and wrestling a bear.

 

[elbows]

63. Has a very chantable name
64. Has a credible plan to replace dog whistles with cat trombones

 

[sunnysidedown]

65. can pat their head and rub their belly at the same time

 

[Louis MacNeice]

66. Can can the can.

Cheers - Louis MacNeice

 

[LDC]

62. Can ride a horse while chopping wood and wrestling a bear.

Putin's up for leader now?

 

[Libertad]

Putin's up for leader now?

Of course, natural succession innit.

 

[LDC]

Of course, natural succession innit.

What aftershave or perfumes do the other contenders like?