Yeah but what's the point of posting prejudice? Better to get yourself more informed than just spout bollox (i.e. making assumptions based on how you feel instead of what's actually relevant).
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past caring
The Cathars were right
Appreciate the thoughtful post, but revol, past caring and grit have all said they were being deliberately offensive. I don't need to wonder if I'm imagining it.
But deliberately offensive to you - because you're one horrible cunt - not because you're a woman.
And once more, I stand by everything I've said here. I directly challenged you with your assertions of "aggressiveness" some pages back - once more, you simply ignored the post. Disingenuous, moral pigmy, liar, solipsistic buffoon - what else will you show yourself to be before this thread is finished?
Heh. You do seem pretty upset innit. What's ymu been saying that's bothered you so much?
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
I know this shit is nasty ymu.
Perhaps I am being too casual about it? Perhaps you are on a soapbox you can't get off and everyone is out to get you?
Maybe we should both count to ten
I've been ignoring your pathetic snipes out of respect for your wife and a desire to give you the benefit of the doubt.
I suggest you shut the fuck up, tbh. Insulting my relationship when it is the reason I bother challenging this crap is about as low is it gets, and you were already aiming very low indeed.
Yep.
Ah but you know...
Hmm. Ding ding ding Round 78342!
Not the kind of talk that's going to achieve anything but more war.
is adopting a bit of moral highground - do you know much about Badgers' relationship with his wife?
well sure that's generous but could also be seen as adopting a position of power where badgers is the recipient of your generosity, so therefore owes you something in return...
Is that really going to resolve the issue in the OP?
Yep well that's fair enough, obv.
Yep your commitment has been denigrated
That's a value judgement. Maybe he has reasons from his own life and experience that are motivating him to hang a couple on your chin (or your nips?) There seems to have been a lot of fighting both sides innit.
and you're finishing with a final swipe.
Hmm. Ding ding ding Round 78342!
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
I requested some blokes take their twattery off a serious thread 25 pages ago. I don't see why it should be me that has to walk away when they get nasty about it. Unless you think it's just harmless banter. I don't. I think it is harmful, which is why I challenge it.
Sure, it doesn't look harmless from where I'm sitting. All the same, it seems to me that when people resort of verbal or other violence as a way of asserting their point of view, you're already dealing with limited capacity and should shape your expectations of outcome accordingly.
Boards is tricky innit - on the one hand it's existing and interesting to express views on behalf of whole sectors of the population. Air your grievances about the world and how it seems to have shaped things in your life or whatever. Maybe get a slap on the back for saying something someone you don't really know appreciates. No chance of one of those tasty make-up sessions I gather you and Mr ymu both enjoy
. But we're necessarily coming from limited perspectives on what other peeps are going on about. A few months ago things were so desperate I just came on Urban and started flaming. Peeps were good about it and seemed to understand I was just going a bit fucked in the head at the time.But when peeps seem to be being awful around here I just walk away, unless I'm in the mood for a bit of scrapping. I love the way you can kick open the doors here, behave like a complete cunt and generally get an apology accepted. But that's the Boards. I've never been victimised here. I have experienced what I think of as anti-male, anti-'white', anti-class prejudice. And know that for all the fuss I could kick up about it, people tend to hold extreme views because it serves a need for them. And I'm unlikely to be the person to cater to that need.
What I find really amazing is that people manage to agree on anything really. I mean, I could be typing into a total fantasy that there's peeps on the other side of this keyboard. The evidence is there in the behaviours of other writers online, that they're motivated by something similar to what motivates me, or what I know is motivating in other peeps. But actually, what the hell do we know about anybody. Or even ourselves. I take it on trust that I've got organs and an inside to my body where they're located, but really it's just custom and trust in medical experts that makes such a thought possible.
Ideas are easier though, maybe. But they're just patterns and assemblages of 'reality' (itself a bit of a concept) innit. I get passionate about things but tbh its more for pleasure than for any useful purpose. To me, feelings are really just another form of sensing what's going on. But they need to be handled carefully because they have a sort of total function on the way a mind and a being behaves. Unlike what you see or hear.
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I find it ironic that you've posted this in reponse to ymu. As she has been one of the most violently verbally abusive people on this thread.
But your statement is very true.
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
You still seem to think I'm on this thread for fun.Sure, it doesn't look harmless from where I'm sitting. All the same, it seems to me that when people resort of verbal or other violence as a way of asserting their point of view, you're already dealing with limited capacity and should shape your expectations of outcome accordingly.
Boards is tricky innit - on the one hand it's existing and interesting to express views on behalf of whole sectors of the population. Air your grievances about the world and how it seems to have shaped things in your life or whatever. Maybe get a slap on the back for saying something someone you don't really know appreciates. No chance of one of those tasty make-up sessions I gather you and Mr ymu both enjoy
But when peeps seem to be being awful around here I just walk away, unless I'm in the mood for a bit of scrapping. I love the way you can kick open the doors here, behave like a complete cunt and generally get an apology accepted. But that's the Boards. I've never been victimised here. I have experienced what I think of as anti-male, anti-'white', anti-class prejudice. And know that for all the fuss I could kick up about it, people tend to hold extreme views because it serves a need for them. And I'm unlikely to be the person to cater to that need.
What I find really amazing is that people manage to agree on anything really. I mean, I could be typing into a total fantasy that there's peeps on the other side of this keyboard. The evidence is there in the behaviours of other writers online, that they're motivated by something similar to what motivates me, or what I know is motivating in other peeps. But actually, what the hell do we know about anybody. Or even ourselves. I take it on trust that I've got organs and an inside to my body where they're located, but really it's just custom and trust in medical experts that makes such a thought possible.
Ideas are easier though, maybe. But they're just patterns and assemblages of 'reality' (itself a bit of a concept) innit. I get passionate about things but tbh its more for pleasure than for any useful purpose. To me, feelings are really just another form of sensing what's going on. But they need to be handled carefully because they have a sort of total function on the way a mind and a being behaves. Unlike what you see or hear.
I don't choose to hang out with bigots. I do choose to challenge them for being bigots, and publicly, because I don't see why bigots should get a free ride.
People don't usually indulge in bigoted crap as a joke. If my partner has been randomly shoved or challenged for no reason, I might joke about it, "well, you are black", but it is clear that I am demeaning the racists with that comment. Amazingly, I don't direct racist abuse at him when we argue. Probably because I am not a racist.
We have boys claiming not to be sexist, but amusing themselves with sexist abuse, and lots of cheap shots from the hangers on who sense safety in numbers. I don't care how much flak I cop for challenging that. I'm not a fucking coward.
This whole thread is totally mental. I dunno whether to say this cos I suspect it aint gonna go down that well 
but ymu you don't seriously consider what happened during that shag to be rape do you? If you are having consensual sex with someone, your both enjoying it and it goes a bit too far and you don't withdraw/climb off, but you both have a laugh about it after... that's not rape. That seems to trivialise it.
I mean if you have agreed to have sex, but not bareback and the guy takes the condom off and still carries on fucking you, then I think that is rape even if you agreed in the first place. But unless the guy was telling you no, please get off me, I just don't think it can be
If you don't want to talk about it further here I totally understand. I just think you are being far too hard on yourself, and I don't think it's healthy to put yourself in the same category as a rapist, espeically not if you've been raped yourself (which you have). And you kinda excused that rape by saying he wasn't responsible too. It all seems dead confusing.
I had sex when I was very underage with men who paid. It has been suggested to me that was rape, but I don't think so because I consented at the time and to me using the word rape just implies a victimness that I don't want or need. Do you really think the fella you shagged and think of as raping was a victim?
but ymu you don't seriously consider what happened during that shag to be rape do you? If you are having consensual sex with someone, your both enjoying it and it goes a bit too far and you don't withdraw/climb off, but you both have a laugh about it after... that's not rape. That seems to trivialise it.I mean if you have agreed to have sex, but not bareback and the guy takes the condom off and still carries on fucking you, then I think that is rape even if you agreed in the first place. But unless the guy was telling you no, please get off me, I just don't think it can be
If you don't want to talk about it further here I totally understand. I just think you are being far too hard on yourself, and I don't think it's healthy to put yourself in the same category as a rapist, espeically not if you've been raped yourself (which you have). And you kinda excused that rape by saying he wasn't responsible too. It all seems dead confusing.
I had sex when I was very underage with men who paid. It has been suggested to me that was rape, but I don't think so because I consented at the time and to me using the word rape just implies a victimness that I don't want or need. Do you really think the fella you shagged and think of as raping was a victim?
Almost as epic as a drug legal/illegal debate thread.
Edie's post seems wise to me. When you say you don't care how much flak you cop though, I wonder what's driving that. You're worth more than any one fight on any one day, no? It sounds like the way you're feeling is out of step with what chatting like this has to offer. Of course people air views that seem bigotted here. But imho people write more as a way of expressing their own identity in online writing, than in actually producing change. I mean I'd like to think that sometimes when someone says something good has gone on out of the threads and babble, that it's true. But the ups and downs of experience, and the persistent emergence of bigots, wars, poverty etc is a given.
If you work in any kind of frontline service - education, health, law, other services - you get to be aware that life has patterns and your own two pence aren't worth much more than that unless you take the risks involved in actually occupying a position with something to loose. Here, the opinions don't have much in the way of consequences most of the time. So I'm not sure how much you can really expect to achieve by taking a very strong position on anything here, except for the pleasure of batting ideas back and forth, getting some intelligent or stupid response, maybe get to see things from a different angle (useful or otherwise).
But like Edie says you sound distressed in a way that's worrying. Why don't you care how much flak you cop? Impaling yourself for the sake of an idea is a representative act, a communication in itself. Why throw yourself into the dog fray if this is something as critical to you as it seems to be?
(((((((ymu))))))))
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
If a bloke refuses to withdraw, it is rape. How the fuck is it any different just cos I'm on top and get to do the deciding? I went into atrial fibrillation when we were in bed once. I'd have been most unimpressed if he'd refused to get off when I asked him to.
The fact that it wasn't a serious consequence is neither here nor there. There was a reason we agreed that his sperm was not going inside me, and I had no more right to override that decision than he did.
Of course it's rape. And this confusion is precisely why I brought it up. Making out that rape is some totally 'other' crime and nothing to do with sexual desire doesn't help boys, or girls, work out what it is in advance of gpbeing faced with a situation where they experience a loss of control, or coercion.
I'm finding it fucking bizarre to have half the thread repeatedly screaming 'rapist' at me when thet have nothing to say, whilst the other half try and tell me I did nothing wrong.
The fact that it wasn't a serious consequence is neither here nor there. There was a reason we agreed that his sperm was not going inside me, and I had no more right to override that decision than he did.
Of course it's rape. And this confusion is precisely why I brought it up. Making out that rape is some totally 'other' crime and nothing to do with sexual desire doesn't help boys, or girls, work out what it is in advance of gpbeing faced with a situation where they experience a loss of control, or coercion.
I'm finding it fucking bizarre to have half the thread repeatedly screaming 'rapist' at me when thet have nothing to say, whilst the other half try and tell me I did nothing wrong.
Treacle Toes
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In theory maybe, in reality this approach is overly simplistic IMO/E and gives folk 'places' to hide and not take responsibility for themselves.
There's more ways of saying "No" than using words though. And sometimes it can feel unsafe to be saying "No". And there are conventions some people feel might suggest that they have 'already agreed' so that they're not now free to change their mind. That's oppression, no? Or they may think it'd be dangerous to put their own thoughts/feelings about the situation ahead of the person they're engaged in sexual activity with at that moment. Which would be a more overtly violent rape situation.But unless the guy was telling you no, please get off me, I just don't think it can be
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
Show me the threads where racism or homophobia have been tolerated and encouraged like this, please.
And once more, don't tell me to turn a blind eye to prejudice. That is my call. I am here for a reason. I have no idea why you think I'm such a delicate flower.
ymu
Niall Ferguson's deep-cover sock-puppet
I did the raping.
I'm pretty sure that "I thought they wouldn't mind" is not a valid defence to rape. What happens after the fact is hardly relevant, if you don't stop to ask permission.
Heh. Delicate flower you're not. But getting all big shouldered about things doesn't work! Sounds like you're on some kind of moral crime fighting spree. And I'm still wondering what's pushing your feelings so strongly in the direction of Sorting Things Out. Particularly on a pretty anonymous internet message board.Show me the threads where racism or homophobia have been tolerated and encouraged like this, please.
And once more, don't tell me to turn a blind eye to prejudice. That is my call. I am here for a reason. I have no idea why you think I'm such a delicate flower.
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