i'll do a solidarity march
*yes, i do want ice in that*
London SlutWalk - now *11th*June, 1pm Trafalgar Square
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*yes, i do want ice in that*
editor
hiraethified
I can't be any more fair minded than posting up your exact and rather troubling words:
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
what about us poor ones that don't have the looks? how're we meant to get our free drinks?
us fat, old and less attractive ones might as well stay in............
mentalchik
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit."
Is that what you are saying?
Equality when it suits you and not when it doesn't.
Pretty much been my mantra all my life Gromit ^
gavman
pj slumpy
as you say, troubling enough. no need to twist them
Dooby
mince
I don't accept drinks offered from strangers in bars, or accept a bottle if bar staff bring it over from 'that bloke over there' because that's some fucking loser's way in to think they can come over and my experience /understanding is you've got to put up with them talking to you for at least the duration of the drink. I see it generally as a very rough bartering system and I don't want to feel beholden (not sayign I WOULD be, but the idea is I should feel it), free drinks or not.
I'm feeling utterly vindicated in this by seeing some of the posts here, and I resolve there's no way in future I'm tolerating anything beyond 'can I buy you a drink luvverly lady' 'no you can fuck right off, you're one of those right weirdo blokes off Urban aren't you'
I'm feeling utterly vindicated in this by seeing some of the posts here, and I resolve there's no way in future I'm tolerating anything beyond 'can I buy you a drink luvverly lady' 'no you can fuck right off, you're one of those right weirdo blokes off Urban aren't you'
Gromit
International Man of Misery
Tightwad and miser is it?
It's got nothing to do with money. Everything to do with not wanting the Insult of being taken for a mug.
past caring
The Cathars were right
tbh, this is another fucking world to me. Can't say I've ever offered to buy a woman a drink* that I hadn't spent some time chatting to already, that at least seemed to want to continue the conversation and at a point where I'd be going up to the jump anyway. And I can't say I've ever experienced a situation where, if the conversation then continued and we were going to continue drinking/chatting, she'd not buy the next drink.
Can't say I've ever used the offer of a drink as an opening gambit or as a "way in". Can't think I've got any mates who would think of operating that way, either. Maybe I'm just weird, or maybe it's just the world has turned.....
(*I mean within the context of there being at least some potential for getting off with one another, clearly. Buying drinks for friends - or for people who you don't know/have just met but they are in the round 'cos they're mates of people you do know and you're all out together - is different.)
Can't say I've ever used the offer of a drink as an opening gambit or as a "way in". Can't think I've got any mates who would think of operating that way, either. Maybe I'm just weird, or maybe it's just the world has turned.....
(*I mean within the context of there being at least some potential for getting off with one another, clearly. Buying drinks for friends - or for people who you don't know/have just met but they are in the round 'cos they're mates of people you do know and you're all out together - is different.)
Gromit
International Man of Misery
Or campaign for equal pay so that everyone can buy their own drinks.
Wait I'm being naive. Even then certain types will still think looks entitle them to free rides in life.
I have no answers.
editor
hiraethified
There has been no twisting. In fact, I've been rather kind seeing as how fucking dodgy your remarks sound, with you blaming "gorgeous girls in skimpy clothing" for your personal discomfort.
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The Cathars were right
Possibly. But in my experience such types are as likely to be male as they are female.
Got to hold my hand up and say that on Tight Trousers Tuesday during the summer months I have experienced some of the 'personal discomfort' we are discussing. Luckily I put this down to millions of years of evolution and defer the 'personal discomfort' until my wife (who I love as an equal) comes home.
grit
an ugly force for good
Thats what it comes down to really, not getting your round in, is the cardinal sin.
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The Cathars were right
I don't think he is, tbh. Assuming you weren't simply guilty of hyperbole, feeling actual "pain" at the sight of an attractive woman (even if you are lonely/haven't had a shag in fucking ages) and comparing that to being like "twisting the knife", saying it's "look what you can't have" is proper fucked up. Sorry, but there it is.
ETA: In that situation, any normal bloke simply goes home and bashes one out.
goldenecitrone
post tenebras lux
Don't worry. What you lack in answers, you more than make up for in self-knowledge.
gavman
pj slumpy
mine lasts until i have a wank
Gromit
International Man of Misery
Good post and how the world should be imo.
I think the world has turned for the better tbh and its not as common as it was outside of venues catering to wealthy patrons.
More women prefer to exhibit independence. A woman tried to buy a mint off me on the weekend after watching me hand some out to others. Another tried to buy a glowstick. I appreciated the gesture both times (though the mint thing was a bit weird) and gave them for free... Along with packets of cig papers to three guys, another glowstick to a girl (who had lost her mau5ears) and drinks to one barman and one barman.
gavman
pj slumpy
of course it's hyperbole. i'm trying to describe an unpleasant twisting, sick feeling in my stomach. it's not actual pain of the type you would take painkillers for
Dooby
mince
GENERALLY people offering to 'buy' tiny thing - one mint, one fag etc are going through the motions and expecting to get it for free. hth
past caring
The Cathars were right
Well your choice of words was unfortunate then, particularly within the context of this thread. I'm sure most have us have felt similar emotions to the ones that I now think you are actually trying to describe - pain at being on your own (particularly if being on your own is a recent thing or the sense of loss is still there) and not seeing where the next/any future relationship might be coming from. And yes, that can be prompted by seeing someone you find physically attractive and being so wrapped up in your own misery that you can feel that you're never going to appear attractive to anyone else ever again.
grit
an ugly force for good
Exactly, its just a polite way to ask. Society has so many of these little norms that we use to get what we want.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
grit
an ugly force for good
In ymu's case I think its actually genetic.
It can be deeply unpleasant reading her posts at times. Just arrogant, shouty, foul-mouthed abuse.
Pickman's model
Starry Wisdom
How come men never offer to buy me drinks?
i'm sure i offered to buy you a pint at the bookfair some years back.
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