Living off the land 100%

[Pickman's model]

A hard day's shit.
I don't like Shit-days.
You can't hurry shit.
Here Comes the Shit.
Whole lotta shit.
House of the rising shit.
Can you feel the shit tonight.
There's something in the shit tonight.
Hit me with your rhythm shit.
Killing me softy with his shit.

 

[Pickman's model]

A fistful of bog roll

 

[bubblesmcgrath]

Living in a Bog......theme song...

 

[cupid_stunt]

A fistful of bog roll

He saw seashells on the seashore.

 

[Pickman's model]

He saw seashells on the seashore.

He soiled seashells on the seashore

 

[cupid_stunt]

 

[Celyn]

Perhaps he's been knobbled by an angry Portuguese beet farmer.

That's something from one of those old cowboy/John Wayne films, isn't it? Wherein steely-eyed men glare at other steely-eyed men, and after a while of this, they remember that they are actually capable of speech, so they say things

"Well son, you sure do think you're tough. But have you ever been knobbled by an angry Portuguese beet farmer?"

 

[Pickman's model]

That's something from one of those old cowboy/John Wayne films, isn't it? Wherein steely-eyed men glare at other steely-eyed men, and after a while of this, they remember that they are actually capable of speech, so they say things

"Well son, you sure do think you're tough. But have you ever been knobbled by an angry Portuguese beet farmer?"

Jw turns the body over to reveal hideous marks.

He's been knobbled he drawls

By an apache?

No, son, by a Portuguese beet farmer

 

[Celyn]

Yeah, son, ah've been around a long time .......... a real long time, and ah've learnt a lot.......... You can beat a lot of things, son, .........but you can never beat a Portuguese beet farmer.

 

[chilango]

This isn't really "living off the land" is it? Even if we turn a blind eye to the near complete cheating, Stan is still managing to get "completely fucked over by the land 100%" isn't he?

 

[joustmaster]

This isn't really "living off the land" is it? Even if we turn a blind eye to the near complete cheating, Stan is still managing to get "completely fucked over by the land 100%" isn't he?

Its someone working and then buying stuff. But not working enough to have a place to sleep or enough to eat, so has to steal and sleep rough.
And trying to walk a few miles every other day, but ending up shitting their trousers, knackering their ankle, spilling oil on everything, and getting ripped off by a laptop tinker.

I'm a big fan of Stanley's adventure. It's like a slapstick version of Tortilla Flat.

 

[Celyn]

Its someone working and then buying stuff. But not working enough to have a place to sleep or enough to eat, so has to steal and sleep rough.
And trying to walk a few miles every other day, but ending up shitting their trousers, knackering their ankle, spilling oil on everything, and getting ripped off by a laptop tinker.

I'm a big fan of Stanley's adventure. It's like a slapstick version of Tortilla Flat.

A "laptop tinker" is from one of those "folk" songs, isn't it?

O what care I for your goose-feather bed?
And what would I care for your castle-oh?
There's no bloody Wifi signal here
so I'm off with the laptop tinker-oh.

 

[JuanTwoThree]

On the Road (Jack Ohmicrac)

 

[Pickman's model]

The old bog road

 

[goldenecitrone]

Trading Faeces

The Thin Brown Line

I Shit on your Grave.

 

[Pickman's model]

Trading Faeces

The Thin Brown Line

I Shit on your Grave.

Bring me the shit of Alfredo Garcia

 

[Stanley Edwards]

Appetite returns with revenge.

Steamed mackerel with coriander and lime served on a bed of leek and potato stew with marjoram and oregano. Only the lime did not come directly from land/sea, and that came from the market for just 20 Cents.

Saw the woman from yesterday (gathering herbs) at the market. She was also selling wild snails. Why have I not thought about that before? Will go hunting when I start moving again. Really looking forwards to trying that. Need to Google a bit to be safe.

 

[Pickman's model]

Appetite returns with revenge.

Steamed mackerel with coriander and lime served on a bed of leek and potato stew with marjoram and oregano. Only the lime did not come directly from land/sea, and that came from the market for just 20 Cents.

Saw the woman from yesterday (gathering herbs) at the market. She was also selling wild snails. Why have I not thought about that before? Will go hunting when I start moving again. Really looking forwards to trying that. Need to Google a bit to be safe.

This will end well

 

[Pickman's model]

Trading Faeces

The Thin Brown Line

I Shit on your Grave.

Force shit from navarone

 

[tim]

A post on the joys of slug souffle will follow soon.

 

[equationgirl]

Appetite returns with revenge.

Steamed mackerel with coriander and lime served on a bed of leek and potato stew with marjoram and oregano. Only the lime did not come directly from land/sea, and that came from the market for just 20 Cents.

Saw the woman from yesterday (gathering herbs) at the market. She was also selling wild snails. Why have I not thought about that before? Will go hunting when I start moving again. Really looking forwards to trying that. Need to Google a bit to be safe.

No. No. No. No. No.

 

[bubblesmcgrath]

I am amazed at how Stanley comes online every now and then and posts in such an upbeat way, making his everyday trials sound like an adventure.

I mean, it takes some gumption to romanticise hunting snails interspersed with bouts of the shits....

 

[JuanTwoThree]

Some people are beatniks.

Stan is a nick beets.

 

[cupid_stunt]

The thread that keeps on giving.

 

[tim]

The thread that keeps on giving.

The bowels that keep on giving, too.

 

[JuanTwoThree]

Stan, you need to hang the snails you collect in a string bag for about a week, in a dry place, until they have pooed out the sometimes very poisonous plants they have been eating. If you don't, you will poo out the plants they have been eating. You can sprinkle flour onto their shells and they will eat it off each other. This helps to excrete the poo that might kill you.

Then you soak them in vinegary brine to make them less snotty. Put salt round the rim of the container and they will not escape.

Then and only then you wash and rinse them a good few times. All this time they are trying to escape.

Then you cook them by bringing them to the boil in cold water. Until it's hot you will be knocking them back into the water.

It's a lot of hassle. I'd buy a tin of tuna.

 

[existentialist]

Stan, you need to hang the snails you collect in a string bag for about a week, in a dry place, until they have pooed out the sometimes very poisonous plants they have been eating. If you don't, you will poo out the plants they have been eating. You can sprinkle flour onto their shells and they will eat it off each other. This helps to excrete the poo that might kill you.

Then you soak them in vinegary brine to make them less snotty. Put salt round the rim of the container and they will not escape.

Then and only then you wash and rinse them a good few times. All this time they are trying to escape.

Then you cook them by bringing them to the boil in cold water. Until it's hot you will be knocking them back into the water.

It's a lot of hassle. I'd buy a tin of tuna.

Tuna isn't on the land, though. Why would Stan risk his unbroken "living off the land 100%" record by cheating and eating tuna instead of poisoned snails?

 

[rekil]

Slug on slug crime rate about to rise.

 

[existentialist]

Slug on slug crime rate about to rise.

Something that slugs really like eating is shit. If Stan organises things properly, he could end up eating the same "food" several times over...

 

[JuanTwoThree]

Tuna isn't on the land, though. Why would Stan risk his unbroken "living off the land 100%" record by cheating and eating tuna instead of poisoned snails?

Unless he is foraging for barley, malting it and sparging it, adding foraged hops and so on, then we can safely assume that buying a tin of fish isn't going to be the only thing undermining his brave stance.