Hungry Kidderminster woman stole Mars bars after benefit sanctions left her with no money for food

[J Ed]

keep it open till a week today if you will, I can't chip in till next weds. Should provide time to correspond with her brief and see what happens as well right.

Ok, that sounds like a good timeframe

 

[Private Storm]

Donated.

...if I can't get in touch within a few days I see that there is an option on the gofundme website to send full refunds which I will of course do.

Thanks to all those who have donated already.

It doesn't look like you can send refunds directly back via the site:
"This person will receive your donation directly.
All payments are final and cannot be refunded.
Only give to people you know and trust."

 

[Private Storm]

Oh look, Heron have a Twitter account: @HeronFoods

 

[andysays]

... I have set up a gofundme page to help pay off the fine http://www.gofundme.com/xgxqhxae but we still need to make contact with Louisa Sewell to ensure that we can get the money to her

Good work.

If for some reason we can't make contact and get the money to her, I suggest you use it to buy as many Mars Bars as possible and post them individually through the letter box of Chairman of magistrates, Maurice Lashford.

 

[Artaxerxes]

Good work.

If for some reason we can't make contact and get the money to her, I suggest you use it to buy as many Mars Bars as possible and post them individually through the letter box of Chairman of magistrates, Maurice Lashford.

And give her something for nothing? Thats a bit shit.

Hand em out at the courthouse steps instead, if you can get em to a guy under a blanket so much the better.

 

[AysaCloudsinger]

And give her something for nothing? Thats a bit shit.

Hand em out at the courthouse steps instead, if you can get em to a guy under a blanket so much the better.

Brilliant! That local paper are bound to fancy it too.

 

[billy_bob]

Magistrates are terrible, what right gives these puffed up volunteer Tories who have known nothing but privilege their whole lives the right to decide over the fate of people they know nothing about and, when it comes down to it, despise?

Several magistrates used to drink in a pub where I worked years ago* and I can truthfully say that as a category of people they were amongst the most callous, arrogant, ill-informed, bigotted, vindictive bunch of arseholes I've ever come across.

*not as a group - as far as I know they didn't know each other, and just happened to be arseholes-of-a-feather independently of each other's influence.

 

[Teaboy]

Oh look, Heron have a Twitter account: @HeronFoods

Whatever happened to just banning someone from the store? What the fuck is wrong with people today? How dare they waste our money on such a petty and vindictive prosecution.

 

[Crispy]

arseholes-of-a-feather

 

[AysaCloudsinger]

Chairman of the magistrates Maurice Lashford did not accept Sewell's reasons for the theft.

He said: "We do not readily accept you go into a shop to steal just for being hungry."

What would you do if you if you were bloody hungry with no money?
Try to discretely nick some chocolate
Or
Beg for food / money

It would be the former for me.

 

[ViolentPanda]

Good work.

If for some reason we can't make contact and get the money to her, I suggest you use it to buy as many Mars Bars as possible and post them individually through the letter box of Chairman of magistrates, Maurice Lashford.

Hopefully, Mrs Lashford doesn't play Marianne Faithful to Maurice's Mick Jagger.

 

[andysays]

Hopefully, Mrs Lashford doesn't play Marianne Faithful to Maurice's Mick Jagger.

I knew we could rely on someone to bring that up.

Brings a new meaning to the slogan, "a Mars a day helps you work, rest and play"...

 

[Pickman's model]

Good work.

If for some reason we can't make contact and get the money to her, I suggest you use it to buy as many Mars Bars as possible and post them individually through the letter box of Chairman of magistrates, Maurice Lashford.

letter box being a euphemism for ... ?

 

[andysays]

letter box being a euphemism for ... ?

Originally it was intended simply as meaning letterbox, but seeing the way this thread is going, it could well be a euphemism. I'll leave it to others to suggest what, though

 

[chilango]

Even fucking Disney acknowledge that you "gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat" (Aladdin).

 

[billy_bob]

Even fucking Disney acknowledge that you "gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat" (Aladdin).

CameronCorp's Britain is basically Disneyland with the thin veneer of fun stripped off.

 

[equationgirl]

billybob can you replace the (r) for a TM please? Under UK law it's illegal for the (r) symbol to be used without a valid registered trademark in place, and urban can't afford a lawsuit.

 

[DotCommunist]

I shouldn't imagine anyones going to give a shit there m8s

 

[chilango]

billybob can you replace the (r) for a TM please? Under UK law it's illegal for the (r) symbol to be used without a valid registered trademark in place, and urban can't afford a lawsuit.

Wow. Really? That's interesting. You learn something new everyday!

 

[equationgirl]

Wow. Really? That's interesting. You learn something new everyday!

Yes, the UK intellectual property office can be quite militant about enforcement sometimes.

 

[equationgirl]

I shouldn't imagine anyones going to give a shit there m8s

The UK intellectual property office might.

 

[DotCommunist]

They wouldn't notice ffs this is urban, not trade or wider press.

 

[DotCommunist]

I know these people can be jealouse of their symbols but seriously, its not likely

 

[equationgirl]

They wouldn't notice ffs this is urban, not trade or wider press.

Well it's not your neck or my neck on the block if they do notice, is it? It's editor's.

 

[DotCommunist]

they won't. We're on an obscure brit message board in an era when nobody uses this medium. Might as well be afraid that saying Yehovah will get you stoned (not the good kind, the bad kind involving stones of a rocky nature).

just lol, you'd never imagine how much wider shit in real life flies under the radar if you think these twonks would give a flying. No ads for starters. So why would they care or even notice.

 

[Casually Red]

Oh look, Heron have a Twitter account: @HeronFoods

I haven't seen any unkind comments on it yet . I dunno how to work twitter but I might try now

 

[teqniq]

I haven't seen any unkind comments on it yet . I dunno how to work twitter but I might try now

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Gratuitous abuse in 140 characters or less, not too tall an order I suspect.

E2a donated to the fund and shared on FB thanks J Ed

 

[billy_bob]

billybob can you replace the (r) for a TM please? Under UK law it's illegal for the (r) symbol to be used without a valid registered trademark in place, and urban can't afford a lawsuit.

Likelihood must be pretty miniscule of the IP folks both noticing, and being jobsworth enough not to recognise that it's obviously satirical and not an attempt to pass off or something. However, with the Robin Hood airport tweet nonsense in mind, you're probably right that it's always wise to underestimate the intelligence of officialdom

 

[AysaCloudsinger]

I haven't seen any unkind comments on it yet . I dunno how to work twitter but I might try now

I cant fathom twitter either. I am like me old gran trying to figure out how to use the video recorder with it. Am only in my 30s but this hashtag and retweet carry on is beyond me.

 

[Casually Red]

I cant fathom twitter either. I am like me old gran trying to figure out how to use the video recorder with it. Am only in my 30s but this hashtag and retweet carry on is beyond me.

I'm clueless.

I also want to be sure before I run about calling them nazi bastards who dip their chocolate digestives in poo before resealing the packets they don't know who I am .