Eurovision 2015 - Vienna

[Vintage Paw]

i don't watch it for the music, it's the whole spectacle and the camp absurdity of it all, like...

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and the Eurovision drinking game... let the madness begin!

(my 2p: the british entry will meet their own private Waterloo, again...)

It's that they look so serious...

Agnetha looks like she's gonna fuckin' cut someone.

 

[maya]

It's that they look so serious...

Five icy cold winter months with no daylight and only vodka, finnish import liquorice pipes (*banned in the EU for resembling real pipes-) and tinned reindeer meatballs for entertainment could drive even the most humorous person to contemplate the meaning of life and death and the slow decline of the record industry. Or write earnest pop ballads about the imminent breakup with your wife.* Overdubbed and with pretty harmonies. It's all in the climate you know.

(*Then lie on a polar bear rug in front of an open fireplace and make people dance to it)

 

[5t3IIa]

Oh God, I think the reality of Australia on Eurovision just hit me.

Sure, it's a fun idea, bit of a cheeky laugh and they clearly love it so why not let them join in.

But... it's the Australians. Imagine if they win. Imagine if the Australian waltzes in and actually wins the thing straight off the bat. They'll be fucking unbearable!

Oh, it'll be fantastic! They will have such a wonderful time, it'll be lovely to watch I can't wait!

 

[not-bono-ever]

ok, shitty quiz time

what links

This years Eurovision
LIve Aid
Joe Dolce
?

 

[Lord Camomile]

Bad music?

 

[Lord Camomile]

Too easy, I'm disappointed with myself

 

[not-bono-ever]

and the answer is ?

 

[rekil]

Hungary have the wonderfully named "Boggie" in the running with an anti-capitalist but somewhat dreary dirge called "Wars For Nothing"

Spoiler

Ireland have the nuclear option on the table and have put a tune that's written and performed by Swedes into the national final. It addresses sectarianism and the ISN sex chair row I think.

Spoiler

 

[rekil]

Victory to Finland, if they win their national final.

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2015/feb/27/finnish-punk-band-take-punt-eurovision-title

There's even a bit of Spinal Tap style tension (1:20 mark). Pedicurists, the bane of rock'n'rollers the world over.

Spoiler

 

[not-bono-ever]

ok, shitty quiz time

what links

This years Eurovision
LIve Aid
Joe Dolce
?

fuck it, the answer is
midge uuuuuuuuure

 

[rekil]

Irish final on atm. I think this 16 year old's have a go Coldplay karaoke will edge it.

Spoiler

 

[not-bono-ever]

Victory to Finland, if they win their national final.

http://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2015/feb/27/finnish-punk-band-take-punt-eurovision-title

There's even a bit of Spinal Tap style tension (1:20 mark). Pedicurists, the bane of rock'n'rollers the world over.

Spoiler

Finland have my vote

 

[rekil]

Finland have my vote

They won the national final. Lots of furious pricks being flushed out already.

Interview from a couple of years ago about their documentary here.

Spoiler

 

[Vintage Paw]

Well, it'll be a close thing between Finland and Australia. Time to place your bets, gentlepeople.

 

[rekil]

 

[hash tag]

I guess my vote will be on spain

http://www.eurovision.tv/save-files...99/49/36/27/8d/37/edurne_amanecer_portada.jpg

 

[Vintage Paw]

Just heard the UK's entry.

NO.

JUST NO.

Okay, so I can dig this 'electro-swing' vibe they've got going on, but it sounds flat and boring.

But whatever, this is the UK, so I don't expect anything that great.

BUT THE WORDS.

THE LYRICS.

"Hey honey, while you're on holiday make sure you don't do anything I don't approve of because you're my woman and I don't want you to hurt your pretty little face because you being pretty is really important to me, and I don't want you to get into any kind of trouble, and remember to do this, and don't do that, because you must remember that I own you, oh and yeah be careful around other guys because they might try to rape you because you're really pretty so be careful, pretty girls can are at risk because men just can't help themselves." "Okay, honey, I love you <3 <3 <3"

Then the wanker goes on and does some scat, which, whatever, but when you're a pasty fucking white twat don't go and purposefully try to sound like Louis fucking Armstrong.

OMFG.

NO.

BURN IT.

BURN IT ALL DOWN.

 

[wtfftw]

I listened to it a second time because it was all what the actual fuck. Anti rape advert in a victim blaming style. Erm. But I think it was more a I'm so insecure and you're only with me because beer goggles and er.

God. And I actually don't mind some electro swing but it's hardly a new and emerging scene.

 

[rekil]

I don't see that UK sub-Scooch twee mess travelling well outside private school ukelele societies.

Slovenia is pretty good. A proper uptempo tune with a bit of air violin and everything. It sounds familiar, like something that was in the charts a few years ago.

Spoiler

 

[ska invita]

amazing

i think thats a tune PD could get behind

BTW theres a jamaican gang called Scare Dem
http://www.jamaicaobserver.com/latestnews/-Scare-Dem--gang-leader-among-eight-charged-by-the-Police

not sure if related to the dancehall crew Scare Dem http://www.allmusic.com/artist/scare-dem-crew-mn0000310201/biography

anyhow, whenever i think of PD i think of it as Prole Dem [verb]

 

[Fez909]

I don't see that UK sub-Scooch twee mess travelling well outside private school ukelele societies.

Slovenia is pretty good. A proper uptempo tune with a bit of air violin and everything. It sounds familiar, like something that was in the charts a few years ago.

Spoiler

It does. Adele?

 

[Fez909]

Just had a quick listen to a few and I like Latvia the best so far

Spoiler: Latvia

 

[rekil]

It does. Adele?

No I'm thinking of two blokes, somebody and somebody, that had a hit 5 or 6 years ago. I like the "You heated up my heart when it was frozen" line. Her bloke is essentially a sort of "microwave of love".

 

[Lurdan]

I like the "You heated up my heart when it was frozen" line. Her bloke is essentially a sort of "microwave of love".

Thought she was singing "You gotta let me heal your aching tongue" but it seems not. I think the vocal mannerism is a little annoying.

Italy's video made me chuckle.

Spoiler

Think I like it best so far. (Probably helps it's not in English tho )

 

[toblerone3]

UK entry is "nightmarish" in the sense that it is very very catchy but not in a good way.

 

[DotCommunist]

it featured on london local news tonight and its absolute shit. It always is.

 

[rekil]

Thought she was singing "You gotta let me heal your aching tongue" but it seems not. I think the vocal mannerism is a little annoying.

Italy's video made me chuckle.

Spoiler

Think I like it best so far. (Probably helps it's not in English tho )

The Italians are well established and hot faves.

Ireland is 350/1 on betfair. I expect the odds will be slashed so it'd be possible to at least cover a stake if/when the price drops.

 

[Lurdan]

The Italians are well established and hot faves.

Well on recent form if I like them they're screwed

 

[youngian]

UK entry is "nightmarish" in the sense that it is very very catchy but not in a good way.

Its waffely versatile though
Notice also how the white plate on the red table resembles an Austrian flag.

Speaking of Australia, they do have Eurovision form as honoury poms; Olivia Newton-John (4th in 1974) and 2nd place Gina G

 

[rekil]

Well on recent form if I like them they're screwed

Don't think it matters at this point. Austria's opening price was 80/1 or something last year.

The German winner fucked them off in a highly irregular but somewhat calculated loneliness of the long distance runner fashion and refused to go. Decent tune and all.

Spoiler