Curfew For Men

[Orang Utan]

All I can find online is one story.

I’m on multiple Facebook community groups for the Leeds area, and a few Leeds rhinos Facebook groups as well... never heard about this. If it was a thing the club would be all over it and making people aware of it.

So you can’t find it on FB. Jesus. Have you read the Twitter thread I quoted?
Also try Googling “leeds students sexual assault alley headingley”

 

[Athos]

I don’t know the stats (does anybody?) but I suppose it must work sometimes. And look, I get it, we’ve all been turned down and it’s a bit bruising. Maybe this is about being able to take failure, to accept not everyone likes you and that’s okay. We put a lot of effort into things for girls to like themselves as they are, perhaps we need to do more with boys so they don’t feel such a need to own others. Because they like themselves enough. I dunno.

Yeah, I think tackling boys' egos earlier is an important part of it.

 

[cyril_smear]

So you can’t find it on FB. Jesus. Have you read the Twitter thread I quoted?
Also try Googling “leeds students sexual assault alley headingley”

 

[oli_1_uk]

A limited time and space which men are allowed to enter as long as they agree not to make unsolicited approaches to women is hardly a sledgehammer ffs!

A curfew is though..........ffs!
Unsolicited approaches is a broad term as well.....going up to a woman and asking her if she wants a drink is unsolicited, so is trying to make conversation with her, it's not just about touching her up or getting pervy with her.

 

[Orang Utan]

Eungh

Are you saying that this hasn’t happened?

 

[killer b]

I think there's a big element of that. It just needs to become a normal party of not being a dick.

Changes of behaviour and culture don't 'just' happen though. They happen because good behaviour is rewarded, and poor behaviour disincentivised. That's really what it comes down to, and I think any discussion about how to change the culture that hopes to achieve anything really needs to focus on those things - how to reward good behaviour, and how to make sure poor behaviour isn't rewarded.

 

[Puddy_Tat]

I've never got the persistence thing, anyway. I mean, quite apart from being unpleasant, is it worth the time an effort? How often do women who've clearly indicated they're not interested change their mind because they're badgered?. Or perhaps I'm being naive, and that happens a lot, which is worrying in iteslf.

I don’t know the stats (does anybody?) but I suppose it must work sometimes. And look, I get it, we’ve all been turned down and it’s a bit bruising.

while i'm approaching the courting habits of the heterosexual from the perspective of an outsider, i have encountered a mindset where it seems to be seen as wrong for a woman to say 'yes' at the first approach because that means she is being 'easy' / a 'slut' or whatever hence the outlook that no doesn't necessarily mean no.

ugh.

 

[oli_1_uk]

You've mentioned trans people a few times, now. Do you have a particular issue with them?

Should they not be involved in the conversation? Maybe you have a particular issue with not including them? Are you against trans people?

 

[Athos]

A curfew is though..........ffs!
Unsolicited approaches is a broad term as well.....going up to a woman and asking her if she wants a drink is unsolicited, so is trying to make conversation with her, it's not just about touching her up or getting pervy with her.

I'm not advocating a curfew. Nobody is seriously; it's a rhetorical device.

Yes, I understand that there are different forms of unsolicited approach; I'm saying the ground rules of this event would be a 'no' to all forms of unsolicited approaches by men towards women.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Neither would a commercial plane without baggage being checked, in an ideal world we wouldn't have to worry about terrorists trying to blow up planes but it's the reality we face.

Women should not suffer these issues but a curfew would discriminate against men, flying in the face of equality.

The message that seems to be out there at the minute is that men are bad, creepy and pervy, in truth we like to look at women and that won't change as we are sexual creatures but we are not looking to rape women (not all of us anyway).

As awful as what happened last week I think the sad truth is that it will be forgotten about next month when places reopen, people are fickle and move on quickly.

Fuck off again.

Should they not be involved in the conversation? Maybe you have a particular issue with not including them? Are you against trans people?

Nice try.

 

[8ball]

I think it's just a more realistic option

Is this a fucking trolling mission?

 

[krtek a houby]

Should they not be involved in the conversation? Maybe you have a particular issue with not including them? Are you against trans people?

You seem to be

Curfew would not work and it just opens up another can of worms as men could just say they identified as women.

For the trans part people will take advantage of that, that's a reason you won't see a curfew.

 

[Athos]

Changes of behaviour and culture don't 'just' happen though. They happen because good behaviour is rewarded, and poor behaviour disincentivised. That's really what it comes down to, and I think any discussion about how to change the culture that hopes to achieve anything really needs to focus on those things - how to reward good behaviour, and how to make sure poor behaviour isn't rewarded.

Yes, I agree. 'Just' was a bad choice of word, as it's anything but simple.

 

[oli_1_uk]

I'm not advocating a curfew. Nobody is seriously; it's a rhetorical device.

Yes, I understand that there are different forms of unsolicited approach; I'm saying the ground rules of this event would be a 'no' to all forms of unsolicited approaches by men towards women.

All forms? So that includes men not making any conversation with a women in anyway which is unsolicited? So will women have to make the first move if they wanted to get to know/get with a guy going forward?

 

[Athos]

All forms? So that includes men not making any conversation with a women in anyway which is unsolicited? So will women have to make the first move if they wanted to get to know/get with a guy going forward?

Yes

 

[killer b]

Got to wonder at the kind of person who decides the aftermath of a young woman's kidnap and murder is the time to go trolling the feminists tbh

 

[8ball]

Yeah, I think tackling boys' egos earlier is an important part of it.

Not sure how old you are, but when I was a kid there was a definite reinforcement of those elements of male ego that I think leads to some of the behaviour we’ve been talking about. Never backing down, imposing your will on others and the world around you, any conciliation being a sign of weakness - that wasn’t something they just failed to “deal with” - it’s something that was fostered and rewarded.

 

[Orang Utan]

All forms? So that includes men not making any conversation with a women in anyway which is unsolicited? So will women have to make the first move if they wanted to get to know/get with a guy going forward?

Or maybe get to know potential romantic partners in a different way ie online dating

 

[oli_1_uk]

You seem to be

I think you are for not including them, that's thoughtless of you and trying to bait me isn't the answer

 

[Athos]

Not sure how old you are, but when I was a kid there was a definite reinforcement of those elements of male ego that I think leads to some of the behaviour we’ve been talking about. Never backing down, imposing your will on others and the world around you, any conciliation being a sign of weakness - that wasn’t something they just failed to “deal with” - it’s something that was fostered and rewarded.

Mid 40s. Same for me.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

All forms? So that includes men not making any conversation with a women in anyway which is unsolicited? So will women have to make the first move if they wanted to get to know/get with a guy going forward?

Seems reasonable to me.
Do you think this is somehow beyond the pale?

 

[oli_1_uk]

Or maybe get to know potential romantic partners in a different way ie online dating

Should online dating replace face to face encounters?

 

[Treacle Toes]

All forms? So that includes men not making any conversation with a women in anyway which is unsolicited? So will women have to make the first move if they wanted to get to know/get with a guy going forward?

Who fucking cares? You don't. Piss poor trolling.

 

[krtek a houby]

I think you are for not including them, that's thoughtless of you and trying to bait me isn't the answer

You've baited yourself. Masterfully.

 

[8ball]

Seems reasonable to me.
Do you think this is somehow beyond the pale?

I know the response wasn’t aimed at me, but it does seem very silly at first glance. Still, no harm in experimenting.

edit: on reflection, I expect such events have happened many times, but I don’t go to
S & M clubs

 

[killer b]

Who fucking cares? You don't. Piss poor trolling.

looks like he's doing ok to me.

 

[oli_1_uk]

Seems reasonable to me.
Do you think this is somehow beyond the pale?

I don't think it's beyond the pale but I think there is still a good amount of women who like men to make the 1st move

 

[Orang Utan]

Should online dating replace face to face encounters?

No, it’s a way to arrange them

 

[Athos]

I don't think it's beyond the pale but I think there is still a good amount of women who like men to make the 1st move

Then this event wouldn't be for them.

 

[Treacle Toes]

You've baited yourself. Masterfully.