And UPS slamdunk their way in with an excellent bureaucracy/ineptitude/inflexibility combo. I ordered a fake Christmas tree from Wayfair...
First, the email from the supplier - "You're item is coming tomorrow (10th)!", then a notification from their delivery partner, UPS, to tell me the item will arrive on the 10th, and inviting me to redirect it to a neighbour or a "UPS Delivery Point". Unable to sleep at 0400 that morning (nothing to do with the item arriving), and working in Pembroke the next day, I use the UPS website to change my delivery to the UPS Delivery Point in Pembroke.
My work finishes sooner than expected, and I check the delivery update. It's still due for "before end of day" on 10th, at the Delivery Point. I dither around for a couple of hours, regularly checking the status, which does not change. Eventually, I can dither no longer, and decide to head home, popping into the Delivery Point on the way.
Where I am assured that UPS have already made their drop for that day (I check my delivery status, it's
still saying "by end of day today"
), and leave, somewhat irritated, and working out how best to arrange things to collect the parcel.
As I am driving home, an update pings in - all of a sudden, and with no explanation, my due delivery date is now "by end of day" on the 11th. Fucking marvellous. But it's a bit of a moot point, as I am in Haverfordwest on the 11th, and since there appears to be no way to update the delivery target, it looks like I'm stuck with it turning up at Pembroke. Ah well, I can wait a day; I'm back in Pembroke on Thursday, albeit with little time to grab parcels, but I'll manage it somehow, and make a note to keep my "Government Photo ID" handy for collection, WTF?
Wednesday dawns, and I commence my peregrinations, up the coast towards St Davids, and back down again to Haverfordwest. As I arrive in Haverfordwest, another email from UPS pings in - this one's a "Delivery Exception Report", and says that a) they've made a failed delivery to my home address, and b) that the package cannot be delivered to a Delivery Point, no explanation given. I am, by now, beginning to become quite irritated - I've had about 15 emails from UPS, none of them conveying any accurate or meaningful information, and (I note) with no way of actually getting back in touch with them other than via an "automated assistant" which just keeps telling me irrelevant nonsense.
I arrive back home to find, sure enough, a "we tried to deliver" docket in the (unused and locked - I only access it by forcing it open with a screwdriver) mailbox by my front door, which hardly anybody uses. Which informs me that they will endeavour to make delivery on the next business day. During which I shall be in Pembroke. Their third (and, I believe, final) attempt will take place on Friday...when I shall be in Pembroke, Haverfordwest, and Narberth.
By dint of battling through the UPS website, I found some kind of complaint/advice form, and began to fill it in.
Now, I admit, my patience and tolerance of UPS were starting to run a bit short by this time, so maybe I was a) somewhat less tolerant than my usual easy-going self, and b) a little prolix in my description of their cock-ups to date (which, TBF, did require quite a bit of verbiage to describe), but I was particularly enraged when I found that the little box they provide in which to enter details of the complaint only takes 1,000 characters. By which time I'd got to about the third delivery update. They got a somewhat pithier version. Though not as pithy as their (promised within 24 hours) response, which is pithy to the point of non-existence. And, of course, there's no proper email address on which to contact them.
So it's just a question of whether I wait for UPS to return the parcel to Wayfair as undeliverable, or whether I spike their guns by completing returns paperwork for Wayfair, but not actually returning the item on the basis that I haven't actually received it yet.
I can understand the tribulations of operating a delivery operation, but UPS seem to have pulled off the double of producing a monstrously cumbersome and bureaucratic system, which DOESN'T ACTUALLY WORK
.
I shall be sure to let Wayfair know that, all the time they're using UPS as their delivery partner, I shan't be ordering stuff from them again - they could be the best firm in the world, selling the best goods for the cheapest price, but if I can't actually get my hands on the bloody stuff...
Meanwhile, on a recommendation, I went to Tesco. Where I found a perfectly reasonable, if slightly less posh, fake Christmas tree reduced by 50% from its original £50 selling price. And then reduced by a further 50%. So I have a Christmas tree, for £12.50. Sorry Wayfair, you lost this one.
.
