Cakes you don't eat

[Saul Goodman]

Pretty much all cakes are nice if made right. Unfortunately, lots of cakes aren't made right.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Just enjoying a coffee with a slice of banana cake someone has brought into share at work.

The only cake I don't like is stomach ache.

 

[spanglechick]

Part of the appeal of cakes, for me, is decorative. Like cocktails, there should always be a garnish.

For this reason, I prefer iced cakes like a cream sandwich or a lemon drizzle to the unadorned brown loaf cake, which I often fear has sultanas lurking inside. (Seriously, banana loaf, carrot cake… neither need sultanas).

I like a moist sponge best of all, with a light, not too sweet, icing. Quite the opposite of Reno.

And 5t3IIa and A380 are both just wrong about Black Forest gateau. The perfect accompaniment for chocolate sponge is fresh cream and sweet back cherries.

 

[Cloo]

I can't make cakes that look anything other than a cake and I can't do attractive icing, but they taste good.

 

[Cloo]

Ginger cake is well overdue a renaissance IMO, bloody lovely stuff.

I like ginger in savoury things but I generally don't like it in anything sweet, including cake. Not quite sure why, just doesn't work for me.

 

[A380]

… about Black Forest gateau. The perfect accompaniment for chocolate sponge is fresh cream and more cream or more chocolate.

FTFY

 

[hitmouse]

Worse than that, it's beetroot.

I really like/used to like red velvet cake, cos I'm dead sophisticated and classy and that, but I went off it a bit on learning that it's often made using colouring from crushed beetles. Which is obv not great from a vegetarian perspective but I also feel like a lot of meat eaters might not be that keen on crushed beetle cake? Shame, cos it is quite a nice cake.

I feel like I want to raise an objection to the word frosting. Isn’t it icing? Frosting is what Americans put on cupcakes that are 2/3 over sweet bun and 1/3 icing. Fairy cakes or butterfly cakes are superior.

I would like to put a vote in in favour of cupcakes that are 2/3 over sweet bun and 1/3 icing. Probably the ideal form of cake thinking about it, all other forms are just pale imitations.

Do you eat almonds in other forms?

I eat olives and chilli peppers in other forms, I might not be keen on a cake where some cunt had smeared bits of them all over though.

Anyway, can sympathise a bit with Reno's heretical cake-dodging. Like, cake's alright, but a lot of them are so heavy. Not saying I'd say no to a slice of cake, but if I had to choose between like a cake and some crisps, or a chocolate bar, or a doughnut or yumyum, I feel like I'd be leaving the cake most of the time.

 

[pug]

I like cakes

 

[Mrs Miggins]

And 5t3IIa and A380 are both just wrong about Black Forest gateau. The perfect accompaniment for chocolate sponge is fresh cream and sweet back cherries

Spot on!

 

[Guineveretoo]

Pretty much all cakes are nice if made right. Unfortunately, lots of cakes aren't made right.

That is very true.

Back in the day when things were right in the cake world, National Trust cafes, and similar places (including those lovely "friends of..." cafes you used to get in hospitals), always had wonderful cakes but, in recent years, my excitement at seeing old fashioned looking sponge cakes (Victoria Sponge type) in such places has been dashed by the first mouthful. Several times. I was beginning to think that I had grown out of old fashioned looking sponge cakes until I had a glorious Victoria Sponge cake in a cafe down in Margate recently and realised that it wasn't my memory or taste that was wrong.

 

[WouldBe]

Any cake is good as long as it doesn't contain too much marzipan or coconut.

Black forest gateau is lush. Morrisons do some bfg muffins but are very crumbly.

 

[danny la rouge]

bfg muffins

Bacon, feta and garlic?

 

[WouldBe]

Bacon, feta and garlic?

Black forest gateau.

 

[danny la rouge]

Black forest gateau.

Sorry. Yes. My attention span is that short.

 

[Saul Goodman]

Bacon, feta and garlic?

 

[tim]

Black Forest Gateau is one of those things that would be wonderful if properly made. Growing up in the 70s my experience was that it rarely was.

 

[danny la rouge]

Replicator?

 

[Saul Goodman]

Replicator?

Big Fucking Gun

BFG (weapon) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[danny la rouge]

Big Fucking Gun

BFG (weapon) - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[spanglechick]

Bacon, feta and garlic?

 

[danny la rouge]

View attachment 288254

That’s exactly what I thought. “Lol, it’s obviously a Roald Dahl themed muffin. I’ll pretend I think it’s a savoury muffin, playing on the well-known BLT sandwich”.

Well, who looks a fool now?

 

[Epona]

I really like/used to like red velvet cake, cos I'm dead sophisticated and classy and that, but I went off it a bit on learning that it's often made using colouring from crushed beetles. Which is obv not great from a vegetarian perspective but I also feel like a lot of meat eaters might not be that keen on crushed beetle cake? Shame, cos it is quite a nice cake.

I would like to put a vote in in favour of cupcakes that are 2/3 over sweet bun and 1/3 icing. Probably the ideal form of cake thinking about it, all other forms are just pale imitations.

I eat olives and chilli peppers in other forms, I might not be keen on a cake where some cunt had smeared bits of them all over though.

Anyway, can sympathise a bit with Reno's heretical cake-dodging. Like, cake's alright, but a lot of them are so heavy. Not saying I'd say no to a slice of cake, but if I had to choose between like a cake and some crisps, or a chocolate bar, or a doughnut or yumyum, I feel like I'd be leaving the cake most of the time.

tbf, cochineal is not a new thing and vegetarians tend to be aware of it.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

Battenburg. Vom.

Tried one out of nostalgia the other year - it was shit.

It tastes disgusting.

I used to eat it by the block when I was young.

 

[andysays]

I see what you did there....

Someone had to

 

[tim]

Tried one out of nostalgia the other year - it was shit.

I used to eat it by the block when I was young.

I think the Queen said something similar about eating Battenburg.

 

[Saffy]

When I used to work in a school, a child brought a whole battenburg in for lunch once. They opened the cellophane and held it like a banana and proceed to eat it.

 

[Badgers]

I don't really eat cake these days. One in a blue moon I would politely have a small slice on someone's office birthday but none these days.

Shame because I love baking cakes (and still do)

 

[Wolveryeti]

I have an irrational hatred of red velvet cake. It looks like it should taste really special but it's just a basic sponge cake with buttercream. Misleading cunt of a cake.

 

[seeformiles]

I’m not overly bothered about cake but don’t have much of a sweet tooth. My Ma baked all the time when I was a kid and I had friends who I suspect only hung out with me because of her cakes and buns so I had too much of a good thing. When someone brought a cake into work I was indifferent to its charms whereas others (mainly women) would be all “Ooh!” and “Aah!” as if it was some sort of forbidden food.
However I’m not completely immune to its charms and if it’s a decent chocolate gateau or cheesecake I will definitely have a slice. The only cake I refuse to try is one that’s been described in terms of its virtue - something like a vegan carrot cake that always seems to have been baked by some lass in hemp trousers and crocs called Emma.

 

[pogofish]

I would avoid that "fly cemetery" stuff though - it's like loads of currants squashed between pastry. Might be a Scottish thing.

Yup - "Fleas Graveyard" A staple of my youth!

But they are a "fine (or funcy) piece", not a cake!