Cakes you don't eat

[Epona]

In my experience, red velvet cake always has cream cheese in its icing. I have stopped asking, in fact, a couple of years ago.

I don't discount the possibility at all - in all honesty I am not that into icing and will usually peel it off a slice of cake I am big on eg chocolate ganache but everything else can go do one

 

[Guineveretoo]

I prefer cakes not to have too much icing, and I particularly dislike fondant icing. Although marzipan does have a place on top of christmas cake, so long as the icing is royal icing on top of that.

I make a delicious cake which is a fatless sponge with a filling of whipped cream and yogurt and fresh fruit. No icing - just icing sugar sprinkled on the top to make it look a bit pretty.

 

[Guineveretoo]

I don't discount the possibility at all - in all honesty I am not that into icing and will usually peel it off a slice of cake I am big on eg chocolate ganache but everything else can go do one

People who have an intolerance of cheese, tend to know where cheese can be found!

I love chocolate ganache.

 

[Epona]

People who have an intolerance of cheese, tend to know where cheese can be found!

I love chocolate ganache.

Most people who are intolerant to cheese will also be intolerant of other types of icing that include dairy products (not all of which involve cheese)

 

[jontz01]

Give me all the cake. Even the Battenburg. I'll take it and I'll eat it until there is none left. From Christmas cake to Madeira. This is why I can't have cake in the house. Nor chocolate. Gone, no worries.

Is cheesecake cake? I'll have a bit of that too.

 

[Cloo]

I don't like icing either. A small amount of cream cheese icing on apple cake can be nice, I'll never eat marzipan icing.

I do like a good cheesecake - I prefer the quite savoury Eastern European style like my mum makes, the best I had was in Prague, really quite savoury, with some raisins in it for sweetness - proper!

 

[Epona]

In my experience, red velvet cake always has cream cheese in its icing. I have stopped asking, in fact, a couple of years ago.

ETA Just googled, and cheese is a standard ingredient of red velvet cake icing.

I love buttercream.

What do you think buttercream is? It is barely different from cream cheese tbh (OH is lactose intolerant and had IBS, I know what is going to set his bowels off)

 

[May Kasahara]

Fondant icing and royal icing can both fuck off. Especially as the latter is often to be found harbouring an abhorrent marzipan layer.

 

[maomao]

Wtf is wrong with marzipan? It's made from nuts and sugar. How can it be bad?

 

[5t3IIa]

Love marzipan, but only thin layers. Bakewells are also top tier

 

[Fedayn]

Fruit cake, just so so so wrong, so no xmas cake, clootie dumpling, bara brith. Just no dead flies in cake, no, no no, just wrong.

 

[wayward bob]

Battenburg

this

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Battenburg is one of the best cakes!
Why do people dislike marzipan so much? It's lovely stuff.

 

[maomao]

And why the fruitcake hate? A good fruitcake is the pinnacle of cake baking. That's why you have them for Christmas and birthdays. Nothing worse than going to someone's house for a birthday or Christmas and they serve a fucking sponge cake.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

And why the fruitcake hate? A good fruitcake is the pinnacle of cake baking. That's why you have them for Christmas and birthdays. Nothing worse than going to someone's house for a birthday or Christmas and they serve a fucking sponge cake.

I bemoan the demise of the proper wedding cake. A sponge cake just isn't as special as a wonderful rich fruit cake. I realise I am absolutely in a minority with this view though.

 

[Epona]

And why the fruitcake hate? A good fruitcake is the pinnacle of cake baking. That's why you have them for Christmas and birthdays. Nothing worse than going to someone's house for a birthday or Christmas and they serve a fucking sponge cake.

OMG I made a MASSIVE fruit cake for Xmas - like a proper rich xmas cake but I didn't ice it, it was fucking lush and kept us going all through January. OH was really underweight at the time (health issues) and having a really high calorie slice of fruit cake every day was a massive help at the time (it is good and I recommend it if someone needs to gain weight but doesn't have much appetite due to certain health conditions - like when the medical recommendation is "if you feel like eating just eat that thing" due to being underweight)

 

[maomao]

I realise I am absolutely in a minority with this view though.

I doubt it. I think a minority of fussy moaners, palates ruined by junk food and cheap confectionery, are spoiling things for everyone else.

 

[May Kasahara]

Wtf is wrong with marzipan? It's made from nuts and sugar. How can it be bad?

It tastes disgusting.

 

[maomao]

It tastes disgusting.

Do you eat almonds in other forms?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

It tastes disgusting.

It tastes of almonds and almonds are delicious!

 

[jontz01]

Posh cake, cheap cake, local cake, factory cake, nans kitchen table cake, old biscuit tin cake, made in a rush cake, cake disguised as something else, something else disguised as cake, with fresh fruit, nuts, vegetables, icing or cream cheese. Lashings of chocolate. Cake that makes the house smell great, cake that you buy from an old lady at the market in a brown paper bag and cake that makes you want to come home.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Posh cake, cheap cake, local cake, factory cake, nans kitchen table cake, old biscuit tin cake, made in a rush cake, cake disguised as something else, something else disguised as cake, with fresh fruit, nuts, vegetables, icing or cream cheese. Lashings of chocolate. Cake that makes the house smell great, cake that you buy from an old lady at the market in a brown paper bag and cake that makes you want to come home.

PARKIN LIFE

 

[Epona]

PARKIN LIFE

Alright treacle?

 

[May Kasahara]

Do you eat almonds in other forms?

On their own, yes. In any other almond-flavoured format, no.

 

[Guineveretoo]

Most people who are intolerant to cheese will also be intolerant of other types of icing that include dairy products (not all of which involve cheese)

I can't speak for "most people" but I am only intolerant of cheese and not other dairy products. Otherwise, I would have said that I was intolerant of dairy products.

 

[Guineveretoo]

What do you think buttercream is? It is barely different from cream cheese tbh (OH is lactose intolerant and had IBS, I know what is going to set his bowels off)

I know exactly what buttercream is! Why are you arguing with me about this as if I don't know what it is that I am intolerant of? It is very strange. I am NOT lactose intolerant, but I am intolerant of cheese and have been all my life.

I was only making the point that I can't eat cakes that have cheese in or on them. It is not a big thing, and I wasn't expecting someone to jump in and tell me that, in that case, I can't eat anything that has butter or milk in it, because that it is not true.

 

[Epona]

I know exactly what buttercream is! Why are you arguing with me about this as if I don't know what it is that I am intolerant of? It is very strange. I am NOT lactose intolerant, but I am intolerant of cheese and have been all my life.

I was only making the point that I can't eat cakes that have cheese in or on them. It is not a big thing, and I wasn't expecting someone to jump in and tell me that, in that case, I can't eat anything that has butter or milk in it, because that it is not true.

OK love, whatever, it's alright! No need to get in a massive state because I didn't understand what you meant.

 

[Guineveretoo]

Fondant icing and royal icing can both fuck off. Especially as the latter is often to be found harbouring an abhorrent marzipan layer.

It is true that royal icing is nearly always put on top of marzipan. But it is delicious, particularly when it has lemon in it, so it is not too sweet (I put too much lemon juice in the stuff I made last christmas, so it didn't set which made for an amusing christmas cake decoration, as it slowly, over the following hours, flowed off the cake)

Fondant icing, on the other hand, at least the stuff that is bought, is just horrid. I always peel it off and throw it away. Or give it to a nearby child.

 

[Epona]

All icing is revolting

 

[Guineveretoo]

OK love, whatever, it's alright! No need to get in a massive state because I didn't understand what you meant.

I am not "getting in a massive state"! I am just bewildered why you don't seem to accept my simple statement that I can't eat cheese. You seem to be obsessing about it, not me.

Let's move on now, particularly since you have decided to start trying to patronise me.