Cakes you don't eat

[oryx]

Worse than that, it's beetroot.

I never knew that!

Although maybe I subconsciously knew it as I detest beetroot.

Apart from that I'll happily eat any cake.

 

[Edie]

I feel like I want to raise an objection to the word frosting. Isn’t it icing? Frosting is what Americans put on cupcakes that are 2/3 over sweet bun and 1/3 icing. Fairy cakes or butterfly cakes are superior.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

I feel like I want to raise an objection to the word frosting. Isn’t it icing? Frosting is what Americans put on cupcakes that are 2/3 over sweet bun and 1/3 icing. Fairy cakes or butterfly cakes are superior.

Yeah, 'frosting' vexes me a bit too.

 

[platinumsage]

I’m shocked and surprised by all the hating on the glorious coffee cake.

 

[krtek a houby]

no to this

 

[Johnny Vodka]

Coffee cake and fruit cake are both excellent. I would avoid that "fly cemetery" stuff though - it's like loads of currants squashed between pastry. Might be a Scottish thing.

 

[dessiato]

Although I seldom eat cake I've yet to find one I wouldn't eat.

I'm not a fan of Jesuitas we used to get in Porto, but even these I'd eat.

 

[quimcunx]

I like light fruit cakes like cold tea cake but ones like Christmas cake nope.

Coffee and walnut is OK.

They should just call carrot cake cinnamon cake and be done with it. There have been a couple of times I haven't regretted it.

Oh and most chocolate fudge or chocolate ganache cakes are too cloying.

 

[mr steev]

Battenburg the only cake I won't eat.
I'll eat all other cakes, although coffee is at the bottom of the list

 

[Shellee]

I just can’t get to like carrot cake much, but I’ll eat it if that’s all there is. Hell, it’s still cake.

But even the best of them always seem to be moisty and heavy.

Yet I’ve got an amazing parsnip cake recipe that’s as light as a feather.

 

[Reno]

Cake rant incoming:

Not having much of a sweet tooth, I only like few cakes and I eat cake very rarely. I'm always bewildered when cake is offered without warning, at work for instance and I'm supposed to go gaga at the chance to stuff my face with some cheap, over processed sugar bomb, as most cakes doesn't appeal to me anyway. I worked at a place where that happened almost daily because every day was someone birthday or leaving do.

I got into the habit of avoiding sugar as it is unhealthy and I rarely tend to crave it, so to me sugary things with sugary frosting shit on top are way too sweet. I politely refuse and then people up the persuasion attack with Mrs Doyle levels of zeal and try to force cake on me, despite multiple polite refusals, the implication being that I really must want cake, but I'm denying myself. Go on, you really want that cheap overprocessed sponge cake from M&S, which I happen to find vile. No thank you, no I really don't, thank you but no, no really..... now get the fuck away from me with your fucking cake !!!! I am slim and the next argument is that I must eat cake because I can afford to. I am slim (and want to stay so) because I eat sensibly and I don't see the point in eating something unhealthy when I don't even want it. This endless trying to talk people into eating cake when they don't want it is exasperating.

When I have cake I like some German cakes, maybe because that's what I grew up with. I like a dry German cake called Streuselkuchen, which is close to crumble and fruit cakes with fresh fruit on it, like German plum cake (Zwetschgendatschi). Neither are too sweet. I'm not generally keen on British cakes as I hate anything with sponge or frosting or chocolate creme or any wet cake really. Carrot cake is some hippie abomination to me.

 

[danny la rouge]

parsnip cake

OK, there is a cake I wouldn’t eat.

 

[A380]

Cake: only the fool would say ‘I’ll enter the nightmare of cake.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I must say I really don't like that awful icing that seems to be on all fancy cakes these days. You know - the stuff you buy in blocks and roll out to cover the cake. I pick that shit off.

 

[wtfftw]

I must say I really don't like that awful icing that seems to be on all fancy cakes these days. You know - the stuff you buy in blocks and roll out to cover the cake. I pick that shit off.

Oh yeah bad icing can ruin it. Pick that off. Or cry quietly if it's horrifically sweet butter cream on an already sweet cake.

I just can’t get to like carrot cake much, but I’ll eat it if that’s all there is. Hell, it’s still cake.

But even the best of them always seem to be moisty and heavy.

Yet I’ve got an amazing parsnip cake recipe that’s as light as a feather.

Recipe please.

 

[maomao]

I must say I really don't like that awful icing that seems to be on all fancy cakes these days. You know - the stuff you buy in blocks and roll out to cover the cake. I pick that shit off.

It's called fondant icing and it has extra gelatin and other chemicals to make it mouldable. It tastes absolutely rubbish. When we've bought ready made birthday cakes for our kids it's always a massive disappointment.

The worst thing is those custom printed sheets that are supposedly edible. My neighbours gave us some cupcakes from one of their birthday parties and they had my neighbour's face on them. Had to chuck the topping; I don't eat old ladies' faces.

 

[Saffy]

I like cake.
The only cake I've tried which I wanted to launch into orbit was seed cake.

Nigella's coffee and walnut cake is lush. The blitzed walnuts in the batter makes it lovely and moist.

I pull the bottom of the cupcake off and sandwich it on top of the icing. Stops it going up your nose as well.

 

[danski]

Battenburg. Vom.

 

[Epona]

My husband is a chocolate cake refuser, so gets a bit annoyed if eldest or I bake one.

I'd consider that grounds for divorce!

 

[Epona]

Can't remember the last time I ate cake. Used to make my own carrot cake without that shite sweet stuff on top that shops sell.
I'd rather have a plate of good mash or a pasty.

I get this, I don't have a sweet tooth at all. I'd rather get 2 starters than starter and dessert.

I do like chocolate and chocolate cake though, if I am going to bake it is going to be either something chocolate or it is OH's birthday and I have baked something for him

 

[5t3IIa]

I am another who likes All Cake but I don't like Black Forest oh, at all

 

[Guineveretoo]

My husband is a chocolate cake refuser, so gets a bit annoyed if eldest or I bake one.

Does that encourage you to make chocolate cake more or less frequently?

 

[Guineveretoo]

My mum used to make some vile white sauce, not sure what it was made out of but we “had to have it, it’s traditional”

Brandy sauce. It’s like sweet custard/white sauce flavoured with brandy. Brandy butter is much nicer.

but both are served with Christmas pudding rather than Christmas cake…

 

[A380]

I am another who likes All Cake but I don't like Black Forest oh, at all

BFG is the work of the devil.

 

[Guineveretoo]

Coffee cake and fruit cake are both excellent. I would avoid that "fly cemetery" stuff though - it's like loads of currants squashed between pastry. Might be a Scottish thing.

Eccles cake?

 

[fishfinger]

BFG is the work of the devil.

I bet you'd love it if it had hash browns in it.

 

[Guineveretoo]

I’m intolerant of cheese, so any cake with cheese in or on it as no from me. Carrot cake usually has cheese in its icing, and so does red velvet cake.

Also, I hate nuts in or on cake. And I hate coffee flavour. So, coffee and walnut cake is vile and I would refuse it even if it was the only cake on offer.

and I’m not keen on vegetables in cake, although I once had a carrot cake that was delicious.

I love fruit cake.

I love cake.

 

[Epona]

I think Red Velvet Cake is usually buttercream rather than cheese, but yeah if you can't eat cream cheese (which is often to be found decorating carrot cake) then you probably can't eat buttercream either - and it isn't just the icing, red velvet cake typically has buttercream as an ingredient in the sponge itself.

 

[MickiQ]

Never found a cake I didn't like, I've never tried parsnip cake. Prior to this thread I'd never heard of it but if I came across one I would certainly try it at least once.

 

[Guineveretoo]

I think Red Velvet Cake is usually buttercream rather than cheese, but yeah if you can't eat cream cheese (which is often to be found decorating carrot cake) then you probably can't eat buttercream either - and it isn't just the icing, red velvet cake typically has buttercream as an ingredient in the sponge itself.

In my experience, red velvet cake always has cream cheese in its icing. I have stopped asking, in fact, a couple of years ago.

ETA Just googled, and cheese is a standard ingredient of red velvet cake icing.

I love buttercream.