Boy racer can’t drive home after speed bumps were put at every entrance to his village

[Pickman's model]

I agree about the use of speed bumps as some kind of universal panacea. But my heart still isn't bleeding for this entitled twat...

there'd be more to this thread if he'd got a bulldozer and flattened the offending humps

 

[Spymaster]

I agree about the use of speed bumps as some kind of universal panacea. But my heart still isn't bleeding for this entitled twat...

Speed bumps are shit but you can drive around most of the ones in Westminter. Camden and Brent have a new thing where a graphic is painted on the road and it gives an optical illusion of a hump that isn't actually there. It seems to work quite well. Even when you know it's not real it feels quite strange driving at them at speed.

 

[Spymaster]

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Speed bumps are shit but you can drive around most of the ones in Westminter. Camden and Brent have a new thing where a graphic is painted on the road and it gives an optical illusion of a hump that isn't actually there. It seems to work quite well. Even when you know it's not real it feels quite strange driving at it at speed.

An Audi SQ7 is large enough that the wheels go either side of the square bumps and has enough 4x4-ness that it glides over the traditional sleeping policeman. There really should be some kind of government scheme to ensure everyone can buy one of these top-class vehicles.

 

[Spymaster]

This has recently appeared on the High Street, which is interesting.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

I am aware its not a popular opinion amongst a nation sat on a tiny island that drive everywhere and wonder why they are fat. Im talking GB here. But cars are anti social. This chap has made his more so, the speed bumps are there to prevent the anti social act of speeding through towns and villages in a selfish act of entitlement. Am not sure the chap in question actually lives in the village. He is using it as a shortcut. It costs him time. His time his money. Its all about what he wants.
Speed bumps mission achieved .
Lessons learnt. 0

Sorry it doesnt rhyme.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I am aware its not a popular opinion amongst a nation sat on a tiny island that drive everywhere and wonder why they are fat. Im talking GB here. But cars are anti social. This chap has made his more so, the speed bumps are there to prevent the anti social act of speeding through towns and villages in a selfish act of entitlement. Am not sure the chap in question actually lives in the village. He is using it as a shortcut. It costs him time. His time his money. Its all about what he wants.
Speed bumps mission achieved .
Lessons learnt. 0

Sorry it doesnt rhyme.

He doesn't live in Great Britain, but don't let the facts get in the way of your casual xenophobia.

 

[Saul Goodman]

This has recently appeared on the High Street, which is interesting.

 

[Spymaster]

I am aware its not a popular opinion amongst a nation sat on a tiny island that drive everywhere and wonder why they are fat. Im talking GB here.

Fuck off.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

He doesn't live in Great Britain, but don't let the facts get in the way of your casual xenophobia.

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

 

[Spymaster]

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

Fuck off.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

I can't drive and I'm a right fat fuck. Blown your argument right overboard mate.

Oh, and oil is a product of long dead forest and bits of dinosaurs.

Raise your game pal

 

[Saul Goodman]

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

Stephen Hawking was never a bloater, and he drove everywhere.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

ok. Over reliance on cars in the UK has an adverse affect on health and communities. Wasn't meaning to fat shame.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

Oh, and oil is a product of long dead forest and bits of dinosaurs.

Which gets fought over and then stolen by oil companies. I'm not a scientist, but if we are on a giant organic spaceship and we still haven't figured out what the fuck we are doing. It's probably not a good idea to suck all the juice out of said spaceship.

 

[Spymaster]

Fuck off.

 

[Pickman's model]

I am aware its not a popular opinion amongst a nation sat on a tiny island that drive everywhere and wonder why they are fat. Im talking BS here.

corrected for you

 

[existentialist]

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

I like that you're so much better than the rest of us. No, really, I do.

 

[DownwardDog]

‘I feel discriminated against because I’m driving a modified car – it’s lowered, so it’s four inches off the road – and I’m being denied my right to drive on these roads.’

What a fucking dickhead. It's not discrimination if it only happens to pointless bellends who voluntarily do some pointless bellend thing.

There are plenty of stock cars that have less than 4 inches of ground clearance so it does seem like an egregious example of the speed bump genus.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

I like that you're so much better than the rest of us. No, really, I do.

where have I said that anywhere? But you are right, cars are really good and don't destroy communities or health.

 

[existentialist]

where have I said that anywhere? But you are right, cars are really good and don't destroy communities or health.

Where have I said that anywhere?

 

[neonwilderness]

Stephen Hawking was never a bloater, and he drove everywhere.

He was allegedly a bit of an anti social boy racer though.

Writing in ‘Stephen Hawking: An Unfettered Mind’, author Kitty Ferguson revealed the cosmologist crushed the toes of the first-in-line to the throne in 1977 as the Duke of Cornwall was being inducted into the Royal Society.

She wrote: "The prince was intrigued by Hawking’s wheelchair, and Hawking, twirling it around to demonstrate its capabilities, carelessly ran over Prince Charles’s toes… People who annoyed him, it was said, found themselves a target."

It was also rumoured Professor Hawking, who was known for his outspoken political views, had also hoped to run over the toes of then-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

He dismissed the claims in the 2012 biography as a “malicious rumour”, before joking “I’ll run over anyone who repeats it”.

 

[Boris Sprinkler]

Where have I said that anywhere?

Strawman argument begats strawman argument. Reading back we even have the same argument.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

Not bad but the 3rd and 4th lines need some work.

And...the guy is not from the city...he is from a small village out the county.

 

[Baronage-Phase]

his neighbours guffawed
when the car's bottom was scored

Or..
There was a young man from stab city
Whose lowdown Passat was quite shitty
His neighbours guffawed
When his racing was stalled
And he cried to the council committee.

 

[Pickman's model]

His bottom was scored
His neighbours guffawed

 

[Baronage-Phase]

Im saying what i see. Am aware he's not in GB. Which i indicated in my post.
Its a fact. If people didnt drive everywhere, they would less likely have weight issues.
Also, oil seems to be a product of war. But why let really obvious stuff get in the way of your cognitive dissonance.

Obviously you've never tried to get from Galbally to Limerick city * without a car.
There are no trains.
There is an infrequent bus ... once every 5 hours probably 4 days a week. You would not cycle that road.
Cars are actually very necessary if you live in the countryside in Ireland. We dont have trains running to rural spots. Not the way England has train systems and little countryside train stations.


*or anywhere within 20km.

 

[mauvais]

What this thread has taught me is that Urban loves limericks.

This is my most popular post: https://www.urban75.net/forums/thre...ng-in-the-shower.328395/page-16#post-13474297

and this can't be far behind: https://www.urban75.net/forums/thre...ng-in-the-shower.328395/page-13#post-13474163

 

[existentialist]

Obviously you've never tried to get from Galbally to Limerick city * without a car.
There are no trains.
There is an infrequent bus ... once every 5 hours probably 4 days a week. You would not cycle that road.
Cars are actually very necessary if you live in the countryside in Ireland. We dont have trains running to rural spots. Not the way England has train systems and little countryside train stations.


*or anywhere within 20km.

I'm not sure England is much better outside the cities. And, certainly, what you describe of Ireland's public transport networks could fit this little corner of West Wales perfectly...

 

[Saul Goodman]

There was a young man from Lim'rick
Who drove like a bit of a dick
'til the council built bumps
To slow him and his chumps
And now the young Lim'rick dick's sick.