Boy racer can’t drive home after speed bumps were put at every entrance to his village

[BigTom]

There was a boy racer from limerick
Who first was quite proud but then sick
For he'd lowered his car
But found council's bar
Was bigger in fact than his dick

 

[Sea Star]

why is he being described as a boy racer? He's clearly neither a boy, nor a racer, and tbh he does kind of have a point/ unpopular opinion

 

[existentialist]

Has the word ‘fresh’ acquired a new meaning amongst today’s youth I’m not aware of? Because lowering the suspension of any car, let alone an older and uninspiring one, makes it look a number of additional ways, but ‘fresher’ certainly ain’t one.

Get wid da program, grandad

 

[existentialist]

why is he being described as a boy racer? He's clearly neither a boy, nor a racer, and tbh he does kind of have a point/ unpopular opinion

I don't think he's got a point. There's a reason cars designed to go on the road have a certain amount of ground clearance - so that the typical/average obstruction doesn't represent a major hazard. If we are to design roads and street furniture for cars that have significantly lower ground clearance, for no reason other than a cosmetic one, we reduce their effectiveness (eg kerbstones, dropped kerbs, ramps, etc), and incur huge expense, and for what? So some manchild can indulge his racing driver fantasies by driving around in a tricked out car? Why on earth should the rest of society bend over backwards to accommodate that?

The bottom (ahahaha) line here is that he has modified his car in such a way as to render it unsuitable to use the local roads. He's got a choice. I suggest he makes it and packs in carping about it.

 

[mauvais]

A young man that owned a Passat
Had meddled with how high it sat
He said, 'it's great now it's lower'
But in fact, it was slower
As he had to walk home, the daft twat.

 

[Sea Star]

I don't think he's got a point. There's a reason cars designed to go on the road have a certain amount of ground clearance - so that the typical/average obstruction doesn't represent a major hazard. If we are to design roads and street furniture for cars that have significantly lower ground clearance, for no reason other than a cosmetic one, we reduce their effectiveness (eg kerbstones, dropped kerbs, ramps, etc), and incur huge expense, and for what? So some manchild can indulge his racing driver fantasies by driving around in a tricked out car? Why on earth should the rest of society bend over backwards to accommodate that?

The bottom (ahahaha) line here is that he has modified his car in such a way as to render it unsuitable to use the local roads. He's got a choice. I suggest he makes it and packs in carping about it.

roads are supposed to be flat though. Putting bumps in perfectly serviceable roads is daft, and as far as I can tell, doesn't really stop people from speeding. When I go over bumps I can lose bits of my car and I have a completely unmodified VW Golf. Speed bumps aren't street furniture. We don't need to design roads for people with lowered suspensions - they are already designed that way - we just need to stop sabotaging them for people who just want to go from a to b.

 

[Riklet]

There was a young Limerick lad
Who now barely could reach his home pad
For the villagers had
Conspired with his dad
To force race-boy to find his own flat


There was a young chap named Speed Fitz
Who very nearly ended up in the ditch
In his fresh modded Passat
He moaned whined and bitched
And zoomed right off Galbally's high cliffs

 

[Riklet]

There was a young twat from Galbally
Who simply refused to get married
for his heart purely belonged
to a car worth a song
but could barely drive over drunk Gary

 

[Riklet]

There once was a VW bod
Who regularly decided to mod
a chunky old diesel
worth less than my weasel
On the speedbump, he's stuck on his tod

 

[Riklet]

There was a vexatious young man
Who refused to commute in a van
he purchased a car
which couldn't even drive to the bar
30 grand down, secretly hates the old can

 

[JimW]

An unfortunate young chap from Galbally
Has been left feeling quite the great wally.
His wheels set too low
So he can't come and go
Now the car's up on bricks in an alley.

 

[DownwardDog]

Why doesn't ya boi just bag his shit? Then he can go full #stancenation2016 but raise it when he gets to the speed bump kingdom. You can control it all through an app these days.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

roads are supposed to be flat though. Putting bumps in perfectly serviceable roads is daft, and as far as I can tell, doesn't really stop people from speeding. When I go over bumps I can lose bits of my car and I have a completely unmodified VW Golf. Speed bumps aren't street furniture. We don't need to design roads for people with lowered suspensions - they are already designed that way - we just need to stop sabotaging them for people who just want to go from a to b.

Its not sabotage - speedbumps cost money to install, so I guess they'd only do so when there is a reason for it - such as boy racers, residential areas or near schools.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

A young man that owned a Passat
Had meddled with how high it sat
He said, 'it's great now it's lower'
But in fact, it was slower
As he had to walk home, the daft twat.

We have a winner

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

roads are supposed to be flat though. Putting bumps in perfectly serviceable roads is daft, and as far as I can tell, doesn't really stop people from speeding. When I go over bumps I can lose bits of my car and I have a completely unmodified VW Golf. Speed bumps aren't street furniture. We don't need to design roads for people with lowered suspensions - they are already designed that way - we just need to stop sabotaging them for people who just want to go from a to b.

If you’re “losing bits” on speed bumps in a standard golf, try slowing down

Also, they’re not being “sabotaged”. They’re put there as a result of selfish twats going from a to b too quickly and endangering others. Go shout at them.

 

[Poi E]

Get harder bump stops you cheap twat.

 

[Steel Icarus]

I think you're all being a bit snobby tbh. Look at the twat, he likes cars, he must be a wrong 'un. Despite no evidence of him being an unsafe driver whatsoever. Ugh, he's stupid and is into stupid things, bet he's never read Marx

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

I think you're all being a bit snobby tbh. Look at the twat, he likes cars, he must be a wrong 'un. Despite no evidence of him being an unsafe driver whatsoever. Ugh, he's stupid and is into stupid things, bet he's never read Marx

Not really. We’re laughing at a twat who’s spent a shitload of money to make his car useless.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Nah, you're all sneering at someone whose response to the pressures of post-Thatcherism is to exhibit conspicuous consumption via an enthusiasm for car modifications.
With your sensible people carriers and cupboards stuffed with Pie Magics you used twice

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Nah, you're all sneering at someone whose response to the pressures of post-Thatcherism is to exhibit conspicuous consumption via an enthusiasm for car modifications.
With your sensible people carriers and cupboards stuffed with Pie Magics you used twice

No, really, he’s spent thousands of pounds to make a sensible family car unusable. That’s very funny.

 

[Yossarian]

A young man's chassis construction
Encountered an unwelcome obstruction
He gave up his larks
Went home and read Marx
Now he's seizing the means of production

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

A young man's chassis construction
Encountered an unwelcome obstruction
He gave up his larks
Went home and read Marx
Now he's seizing the means of production

Sorry mauvais, you’ve just lost your crown.

 

[Steel Icarus]

A young man's chassis construction
Encountered an unwelcome obstruction
He gave up his larks
Went home and read Marx
Now he's seizing the means of production

 

[Steel Icarus]

No, really, he’s spent thousands of pounds to make a sensible family car unusable. That’s very funny.

Yeah, I know. Was just indulging in a little mild windupperry for once.

I HAVE spent time round lads that do this stuff though, in order to (it seems) drive up and down the seafront really slowly. One kid I worked with had a £400 Corsa with £500 alloys on it. They really were into the minitiae of shit-car modding though, and having started from a position of ridicule ended up being rather impressed at the passion some showed for it, and the results were not always entirely horrific.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Yeah, I know. Was just indulging in a little mild windupperry for once.

I HAVE spent time round lads that do this stuff though, in order to (it seems) drive up and down the seafront really slowly. One kid I worked with had a £400 Corsa with £500 alloys on it. They really were into the minitiae of shit-car modding though, and having started from a position of ridicule ended up being rather impressed at the passion some showed for it, and the results were not always entirely horrific.

I don’t have a problem with car modding - some of it can look quite cool. But once you get to the point where the car is unusable on an actual road? Fair game for taking the piss

Although having seen how some friends get absolutely clobbered on insurance for just a couple of simple mods I do wonder how many of those max power Saxos out there are driving round illegally...

 

[cheesethief]

why is he being described as a boy racer? He's clearly neither a boy, nor a racer, and tbh he does kind of have a point/ unpopular opinion

He would have a point if it pertained to access for emergency vehicles or busses, etc, but he chose to modify an otherwise sensible car in such a way that it can't cope with modest bumps in the road. More fool him.

Anyway I kind of lost any sympathy for him after this bit:

‘I feel discriminated against because I’m driving a modified car – it’s lowered, so it’s four inches off the road – and I’m being denied my right to drive on these roads.’

If he was disabled & driving a modified vehicle that needed to be lower to accommodate a wheelchair or similar, then it would be discrimination. I have very little time for those who throw accusations of discrimination around frivolously, it cheapens the meaning for those who are genuinely victims of discrimination.

 

[Steel Icarus]

Tbf his car worked fine on the roads until the speed bumps were put there.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

Tbf his car worked fine on the roads until the speed bumps were put there.

At which point the answer is “tough shit”.

 

[neonwilderness]

But now he can't enjoy the simple pleasure of driving to the post office

 

[OzT]

He maybe should've watched Monkey Garage and installed air ride with remote height adjuster controls, seems easy to install from watching that program