Boy racer can’t drive home after speed bumps were put at every entrance to his village

[Spymaster]

An Irish bloke with a Passat,
Is rather pissed off, fancy that,
He lowered his car,
Now can’t get too far,
Because he’s a bit of a twat.

 

[Sea Star]

Its not sabotage - speedbumps cost money to install, so I guess they'd only do so when there is a reason for it - such as boy racers, residential areas or near schools.

that's generally not how these hings work. There was probably a grant for it and so they did it - like CCTV schemes in the Blair years. Construction companies who continually lobby politicians for favour tend to do quite well out of it. In fact there's plenty of evidence that speed humps don't really work - they bring their own problems - I'd hate to have one outside my house because of all the extra noise and pollution it would bring. Other traffic calming methods work better. Even as a cyclist I didn't like speed humps because they made motorists drive like idiots.

 

[beesonthewhatnow]

that's generally not how these hings work. There was probably a grant for it and so they did it - like CCTV schemes in the Blair years. Construction companies who continually lobby politicians for favour tend to do quite well out of it. In fact there's plenty of evidence that speed humps don't really work - they bring their own problems - I'd hate to have one outside my house because of all the extra noise and pollution it would bring. Other traffic calming methods work better. Even as a cyclist I didn't like speed humps because they made motorists drive like idiots.

They’re not ideal, but better than nothing. File under “tough shit” really.

 

[Sea Star]

He would have a point if it pertained to access for emergency vehicles or busses, etc, but he chose to modify an otherwise sensible car in such a way that it can't cope with modest bumps in the road. More fool him.

Anyway I kind of lost any sympathy for him after this bit:

If he was disabled & driving a modified vehicle that needed to be lower to accommodate a wheelchair or similar, then it would be discrimination. I have very little time for those who throw accusations of discrimination around frivolously, it cheapens the meaning for those who are genuinely victims of discrimination.

i never believe quotes in local papers - they tend to put words in your mouth

 

[Sea Star]

They’re not ideal, but better than nothing. File under “tough shit” really.

i don't actually give a toss about the guy - but i don't feel such strong antipathy against him either - but i do hate speed humps.

that story though was so shoddily written. 'Boy racer' was actually commuting builder.

 

[Sea Star]

He would have a point if it pertained to access for emergency vehicles or busses, etc, but he chose to modify an otherwise sensible car in such a way that it can't cope with modest bumps in the road. More fool him.

Anyway I kind of lost any sympathy for him after this bit:

If he was disabled & driving a modified vehicle that needed to be lower to accommodate a wheelchair or similar, then it would be discrimination. I have very little time for those who throw accusations of discrimination around frivolously, it cheapens the meaning for those who are genuinely victims of discrimination.

did he though - or was that just the paper who put that in?

 

[neonwilderness]

that story though was so shoddily written. 'Boy racer' was actually commuting builder.

A 23 year old who spent £3k lowering a £2.5k Passat. He's probably a bit old, but he does fit the stereotype tbf

 

[dessiato]

A speed bump caused caused me to crack my sump.

I went over it as I always had, nice and slow because it was a bit high, unfortunately in the week since I'd last been there a pothole had opened up immediately after it. As I crept carefully over the car suddenly dropped into the hole and cracked the sump. 500€ of damage.

All this in a bog standard ride height. Those who slam their cars like this person has must find driving around near impossible for most purposes, shopping, commuting, etc.

 

[cheesethief]

did he though - or was that just the paper who put that in?

I have no idea. There is as much evidence to say he did as there is to say he didn't.

 

[cheesethief]

i don't actually give a toss about the guy - but i don't feel such strong antipathy against him either - but i do hate speed humps.

that story though was so shoddily written. 'Boy racer' was actually commuting builder.

It would not surprise me if the story was sensationalised a bit, it's in the Metro after all, not the Times.

But as for speed humps - not always appropriate, but positioned around a small village? hmmm, seems like a good idea to me. If every single driver promised to drive slowly & safely through such an area then there would be no need for them. But sadly many drivers are morons with scant regard for human life, for whom speed cameras, chicanes & other calming measures are merely obstacles to be circumvented or outwitted. What other measures would you suggest that would force even the most determined speeder to slow down?

 

[andysays]

why is he being described as a boy racer? He's clearly neither a boy, nor a racer, and tbh he does kind of have a point/ unpopular opinion

Are you denying his right to identify as a boy racer? Sounds dodgy to me...

 

[DownwardDog]

A speed bump caused caused me to crack my sump.

I smashed the sump out of my sister's Golf GTI on one. She punished me by driving diesel Astras for the next 15 years.

My time attack Evo 8RS was so low I had to take a 15km detour to get home to avoid a very modest speed bump. It felt like victory to me.

 

[Teaboy]

Are you denying his right to identify as a boy racer? Sounds dodgy to me...

No and leave it alone.

 

[Chilli.s]

A speed bump caused caused me to crack my sump.

I went over it as I always had, nice and slow because it was a bit high, unfortunately in the week since I'd last been there a pothole had opened up immediately after it. As I crept carefully over the car suddenly dropped into the hole and cracked the sump. 500€ of damage.

All this in a bog standard ride height. Those who slam their cars like this person has must find driving around near impossible for most purposes, shopping, commuting, etc.

This is the type of insurance claim that councils are obliged to cover. careful documentation, photos, statements, measurements. I think you've got to have the distance from the top of the hump to the bottom of the pothole (planks with a spirit level and ruler) and you're good.

If you can be bothered.

 

[Chilli.s]

Dunno what he's complaining about, it actually justifies his mod as his car now drives like a racing car, that would also never get him home.

Almost like having a Lambo.

 

[dessiato]

This is the type of insurance claim that councils are obliged to cover. careful documentation, photos, statements, measurements. I think you've got to have the distance from the top of the hump to the bottom of the pothole (planks with a spirit level and ruler) and you're good.

If you can be bothered.

I live in Spain where the attitude is one of "shit happens."

 

[Spymaster]

All mods are shit, but a Passat?

Yep. Even expensive customised cars are cack.

There's a massively modded AMG GT S near us that must have cost £150k with just the body mods and fuck knows what he's done to the mechanics. I can't walk past it without thinking "wanker".

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Yep. Even expensive customised cars are cack.

There's a massively modded AMG GT S near us that must have cost £150k with just the body mods and fuck knows what he's done to the mechanics. I can't walk past it without thinking "wanker".

And then there's Overfinch, Khan and so on. Some of the body-kits can look OK-ish, but any attempt to change the mechanics and you're saying you know better than Mercedes , Porsche and so on. You don't.

 

[dessiato]

And then there's Overfinch, Khan and so on. Some of the body-kits can look OK-ish, but any attempt to change the mechanics and you're saying you know better than Mercedes , Porsche and so on. You don't.

It's one thing modding body/style, that's personal taste. Modding mechanical parts is a whole different ball game. Even more mundane manufacturers have much more expertise than most of us.

I'm more inclined to do bodywork than I'd ever do mechanical bits.

 

[Poi E]

Barry vs Billion Dollar Budget.

 

[Spymaster]

And then there's Overfinch, Khan and so on. Some of the body-kits can look OK-ish, but any attempt to change the mechanics and you're saying you know better than Mercedes , Porsche and so on. You don't.

I walk past the Overfinch showroom most days and have to suppress doing a wanker sign. Give them 50 grand and they'll make your Range Rover look even more shit than it did when you gave it to them.

 

[DownwardDog]

And then there's Overfinch, Khan and so on. Some of the body-kits can look OK-ish, but any attempt to change the mechanics and you're saying you know better than Mercedes , Porsche and so on. You don't.

You can absolutely improve an OEM engine tune which are often compromised for reasons of emissions with artificial flat spots and mega rich idles. (This goes double for motorcycles.) They also can have ignition and fuel maps which are simply wrong. I got another 50bhp on my Clio RS just be cleaning up the Fuel/Air table and recalibrating the TPS.

There is also usually quite a lot of crappy parts on quite expensive new cars; Chinese turbos that are done after 50,000km (Mercedes), monkey metal fasteners that corrode within weeks (BMW), etc.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

I walk past the Overfinch showroom most days and have to suppress doing a wanker sign. Give them 50 grand and they'll make your Range Rover look even more shit than it did when you gave it to them.

I can't 100% write these companies off on account of Onyx making the Bentayga look so much better than Bentley manage. Though it seems Bentley maybe copying some of Onyx's work with the 2019 model...

 

[Spymaster]

I can't 100% write these companies off on account of Onyx making the Bentayga look so much better than Bentley manage. Though it seems Bentley maybe copying some of Onyx's work with the 2019 model...

In fairness you could take a shit on a Bentayga and it would look better.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

You can absolutely improve an OEM engine tune which are often compromised for reasons of emissions

Yes, the manufacturer supplies the car that matches the current emissions standards. You could improve it by fuelling with liquidised pandas I guess, but that's not really the done thing these days.

 

[Saul Goodman]

There was a young man from Stab City.
Whose lowered Passat was quite shitty.
His neighbours they guffawed.
When his racing got scuppered.
And he cried to the council committee.

 

[Spymaster]

There was a young man from Stab City.
Whose lowered Passat was quite shitty.
His neighbours they guffawed.
When his racing got scuppered.
And he cried to the council committee.

Not bad but the 3rd and 4th lines need some work.

 

[Pickman's model]

In fairness you could take a shit on a Bentayga and it would look better.

yeh kris showed me that picture of you taking a dump on one

 

[existentialist]

that's generally not how these hings work. There was probably a grant for it and so they did it - like CCTV schemes in the Blair years. Construction companies who continually lobby politicians for favour tend to do quite well out of it. In fact there's plenty of evidence that speed humps don't really work - they bring their own problems - I'd hate to have one outside my house because of all the extra noise and pollution it would bring. Other traffic calming methods work better. Even as a cyclist I didn't like speed humps because they made motorists drive like idiots.

I agree about the use of speed bumps as some kind of universal panacea. But my heart still isn't bleeding for this entitled twat...

 

[Pickman's model]

There was a young man from Stab City.
Whose lowered Passat was quite shitty.
His neighbours they guffawed.
When his racing got scuppered.
And he cried to the council committee.

his neighbours guffawed
when the car's bottom was scored