Boris Johnson tests positive for Covid-19

[Septimus Rufiji]

My partner's been telling me off for wanting him dead. To be honest, the conversation has made me reassess things at a more human level. So when this is all over, I think I'll have to get a new partner.

at times like this, though it pains us greatly, a bullet to the head (or pillow on the face) heals their pain and also allows us to get jiggy with someone more in line with someone that's not them. So win win.

I know a bloke, if you need it

 

[lefteri]

It does, actually. The few private hospitals that have tiny intensive care units don't have very good ones. They're posher but not as good medically. There's a reason private hospitals always just happen to be sited really near NHS hospitals.

i bow to your greater knowledge

 

[Wilf]

at times like this, though it pains us greatly, a bullet to the head (or pillow on the face) heals their pain and also allows us to get jiggy with someone more in line with someone that's not them. So win win.

I know a bloke, if you need it

 

[Wilf]

Anyway, if I can't get him deaded, I'll just have to hope all the things that happened to patients in the Doctor in the House and Carry On films happen to him. So that's a foot long needle up his arse, bed pans, castor oil, getting his foot in a plaster cast hoisted on a pulley, falling out of the back of an ambulance and getting the wrong leg sawn off.

 

[tim]

‘typically’ doesn’t rule out a hospital or two that can handle those patients and could be reserved for royals or senior govt at times like this

Won't he go to that King Edward VII Hospital where the royals get sent when they're poorly?

 

[Septimus Rufiji]

wasn't it a daffodil up the arse? I think your version is better but, you know, historical accuracy and all that

 

[tim]

wasn't it a daffodil up the arse? I think your version is better but, you know, historical accuracy and all that

Yes, Wilfred Hyde-White's arse.

 

[Marty1]

God I hope he’s alright. The last thing we need is our Prime Minister dying, whatever you think of him.

Yep, you’ve got to respect the sanctity of human life.

 

[RTWL]

How the f*ck can you live on this planet and say that?

 

[UrbaneFox]

Anyway, if I can't get him deaded, I'll just have to hope all the things that happened to patients in the Doctor in the House and Carry On films happen to him. So that's a foot long needle up his arse, bed pans, castor oil, getting his foot in a plaster cast hoisted on a pulley, falling out of the back of an ambulance and getting the wrong leg sawn off.

Thank you, Wilf, I shall now retire with a smile on my face.

 

[steveo87]

British entrepreneurial spirit.

I'm selling "Piers Morgan Thinks I'm A Despicable Human Being" pin badges. Any takers?

Mli got banned from twitter for calling Morgan a cunt once.

#bigboytrousers

 

[lefteri]

Mli got banned from twitter for calling Morgan a cunt once.

#bigboytrousers

my wife got banned from twitter for calling hopkins a cunt once - i thought that was the whole point of twitter

 

[Pickman's model]

God I hope he’s alright. The last thing we need is our Prime Minister dying, whatever you think of him.

I do my best not to think of the fat repulsive pig. If there's one thing cv could do for us it would be removing him from the roll of the house of commons.

 

[Pickman's model]

do we know what hospital?

Edward VII

 

[pseudonarcissus]

I do my best not to think of the fat repulsive pig. If there's one thing cv could do for us it would be removing him from the roll of the house of commons.

...and we end up with Raab?

 

[little_legs]

Edward VII

 

[Pickman's model]

...and we end up with Raab?

I don't care. In any case the tory party would need to run a leadership election so its by no means certain it would be raab, it could be another chemist like dr therese coffey

 

[Pickman's model]

it is understood?

 

[lizzieloo]

Anyway, if I can't get him deaded, I'll just have to hope all the things that happened to patients in the Doctor in the House and Carry On films happen to him. So that's a foot long needle up his arse, bed pans, castor oil, getting his foot in a plaster cast hoisted on a pulley, falling out of the back of an ambulance and getting the wrong leg sawn off.

I was hearing comedy crashbangboings reading that

 

[phillm]

You can be 100% sure that they did EVERYTHING they possibly could to avoid a sitting premier being admitted to hospital over this.

The word is that he was finally admitted because his respiratory problems became too severe to treat with a team of doctors alone, but there was no way to quietly bring a ventilator, plus the necessary trained staff, into No. 10 without it leaking. So, they had no choice but to bite the bullet and have him admitted.

He has to be in an ICU and, almost certainly, is already on a ventilator.

That is bad. Very bad.

By the time the disease develops to the point of needing a ventilator, in the best of circumstances your chance of survival is 50%. In some countries, however, it can be as low as 20%. By this time next week, we will know if he has survived.
His chances are probably better than most as he is only 55 years old, but almost all survivors sustain permanent damage as a side-effect of intubation. Often damage to their cognitive function.

My bet is that he will survive but will have no choice but to resign.

 

[jakejb79]

He forgot about Herd Immunity fast enough, and let's not forget he said ''we should expect to lose loved ones before their time''. i don't love him, but maybe his family does.

 

[Fez909]

Often damage to their cognitive function.

I agree with the meat of your post, but do you have any evidence for this?

 

[phillm]

I agree with the meat of your post, but do you have any evidence for this?

‘Once within the milieu of the neuronal tissues, the interaction SARS-CoV-2 with ACE2 receptors expressed in neurons can initiate a cycle of viral budding accompanied by neuronal damage without substantial inflammation, as has been seen with cases of SARS-CoV-1 in the past.'

Amsterdam UMC Vandaag

Amsterdam UMC believes that health care practice, research and education belong together, with each shaping and informing the other. Read our stories.

www.amsterdamresearch.org

 

[maomao]

I'm trying really hard not to be an evil enough person to wish death on him but I'm certainly not wasting any pity. And it would be fucking funny. Particularly with his hand shaking herd immunity bollocks of three weeks ago. What would happen to Brexit? The whole election was sold on his grinning idiot face and three words. I bet half the country has barely heard of Raab or most of the rest of the cabinet.

 

[maomao]

His chances are probably better than most as he is only 55 years old, but almost all survivors sustain permanent damage as a side-effect of intubation. Often damage to their cognitive function.

My bet is that he will survive but will have no choice but to resign.

He wasn't elected for his brains. As long as he can do a cheeky grin and thumbs up while saying 'get Brexit done' they'll keep him.

 

[RedRedRose]

If he dies, you know he will be canonised, right? I almost wish him a speedy recovery to avoid the gushing eulogy.

 

[Smangus]

Where's that ditch gone?

 

[killer b]

Why would he be canonized? He'll more likely become an historical footnote, and a byword for ludicrous folly.

 

[RedRedRose]

Soon forgotten. First prime minister to die in office in hundred years plus. The beeb will be all over it like a rash.

 

[MrCurry]

Boris built his whole career on presenting an image of haplessness. Him ending up “dead in a ditch” before the Brexit conundrum was fully sorted would be a stunning example of life imitating art.