Worst film you have ever seen and why?

[ATOMIC SUPLEX]

a friend of mine used to work for a company that did publicity/posters/trailers for films and they always used to praise Paul Ross as you could always rely on him for a positive quote for the poster no matter how much of a turkey the film was.

Trouble is if you spot paul ross on a box or poster you know they couldn't get a good quote from anywhere else.

The best box quote ever was the original korean DVD of biohazard which had a quote saying 'truly terrible' or something. I will see if I can find a picture.

 

[DotCommunist]

So what's the dividing line between a Dog Soldiers and an Anaconda?

shit has no redeeming feautures, not even bit that are 'lol look how shit this film is' bits.

 

[Jon-of-arc]

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209095/

"Leprechaun in the Hood" was very very bad. Reasons would be too numerous to list, but the main ones are script, plot, acting, direction, production, editing, concept and smell.

 

[killer b]

it was SW9, although london kills me comes fairly close...

 

[Orang Utan]

it was SW9, although london kills me comes fairly close...

all i remember from that film (london kills me) is wormtongue getting upset about some boots - that was it wasn't it?

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Our very own isvicthere? played the bailiff in SW9. It was a crap film, but great spotting people I knew, especially Nellie from the newsagents laughing her head off at that stupid rubber chicken scene on Atlantic Road.

 

[Orang Utan]

hatboy was the door whore as well wasn't he?

 

[killer b]

all i remember from that film (london kills me) is wormtongue getting upset about some boots - that was it wasn't it?

pretty much. awful.

none of my friends were in sw9, so i got no pleasure whatsoever from it.

 

[wiskey]

hatboy was the door whore as well wasn't he?

yeah I think so.

Its a cringeworthy film though.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

hatboy was the door whore as well wasn't he?

I can't remember who he played but I remember his completely mad dance in the clubbing scene. My kids got cross because anytime the characters went anywhere they went the wrong way and arrived in the wrong place.

 

[Wolveryeti]

The Passion of The Christ.

A better director could have done some really interesting things with the story (fleshed out the characters etc). Instead.... 1 hour of the most horribly unrealistic torture porn. Boring, disappointing, and painful to watch.

 

[Orang Utan]

I can't remember who he played but I remember his completely mad dance in the clubbing scene. My kids got cross because anytime the characters went anywhere they went the wrong way and arrived in the wrong place.

yeah, i remember a scene in which they leave down saltoun road and emerge somewhere in angell town
eta i don't think fucking with locations is necessarily a bad thing though, it's just a practical thing

 

[DotCommunist]

The Passion of The Christ.

A better director could have done some really interesting things with the story (fleshed out the characters etc). Instead.... 1 hour of the most horribly unrealistic torture porn. Boring, disappointing, and painful to watch.

It's the Passion ffs

you expected mabye an Adam Sandler comedy?

Garden of Gethsemane bit was poor though. I expected Judas so be slyer than he came across

 

[Wolveryeti]

It's the Passion ffs

you expected mabye an Adam Sandler comedy?

Well, I was warned, but I didn't expect it to be that bad.

Did you not think it was pretty sick/boring/bad directing for a film to linger on the gory torture scenes as long as that one did?

After I watched it I was like: "Wow, Mel Gibsson is a fucked up loon."

 

[DotCommunist]

Well, I was warned, but I didn't expect it to be that bad.

Did you not think it was pretty sick/boring/bad directing for a film to linger on the gory torture scenes as long as that one did?

After I watched it I was like: "Wow, Mel Gibsson is a fucked up loon."

I grew up as a proddy kid in sunday schools. I've heard and seen the Passion played a dozen ways. Gibsons was popishly violent, them catholics are all about the drama and pomp. It's intense and violent but thats the fucking passion laid out raw for you. A man betrayed to a scourging and a criminals death? Gibdson didn't flinch

 

[electrogirl]

I saw the press screening of that and everyone, and I mean everyone laughed and said 'what the fuck was that' at the end. I have never been to a press screening that had so much bonding with strangers (over the films crapness). I think you could have said to anyone, 'man that was shit, lets grab a pint and forget about it'.

Haha I like the idea ofstrangers reaching out to eachother for comfort after such an experience.

It really is awful. Why is it meant to be modern times but the mental institution is like something out of a Foucault book, all switchy blue lighting and stark corridors, and cells with bars on.

And the plot is just ridiculous. My sister told me off for laughing in the end.

 

[Wolveryeti]

It's intense and violent but thats the fucking passion laid out raw for you. A man betrayed to a scourging and a criminals death? Gibdson didn't flinch

What clinched it for me was that anyone taking that whipping would have died of blood loss before they made it to the cross. Jesus was literally covered from head to toe with open, bleeding wounds. Like something out of Hellraiser. That's why it was torture porn. Gibson wasn't trying to depict the raw nature of reality- he was just indulging some fucked up fantasy. I bet he daydreams about Jesus dying and beats himself off about how intense it is or something.

 

[Orang Utan]

like something out of a Foucault book, all switchy blue lighting and stark corridors, and cells with bars on.

no, that's flatliners

 

[electrogirl]

Seriously, there even shoehorned a bit where Holly Berry wears a swimmycossie of course, and she goes swimming in the mentalhome and it's all blue horrible lighting in this swimming pool underneath the prison.

I wish I could remember more of why I hated it. I should start documenting my thoughts of all the bad films I see, like I did with Glitter.

 

[DotCommunist]

What clinched it for me was that anyone taking that whipping would have died of blood loss before they made it to the cross. Jesus was literally covered from head to toe with open, bleeding wounds. Like something out of Hellraiser. That's why it was torture porn. Gibson wasn't trying to depict the raw nature of reality- he was just indulging some fucked up fantasy. I bet he daydreams about Jesus dying and beats himself off about how intense it is or something.

heh, they weren't above nailing half dead wretches to the cross in them days. In some fucked up realm of Roman justice you'd be better off with your back flayed to the spne, saves the slow choking crucifix death.

Yeah Gibson lingers (and I did do this face ) but he is documenting the Passion, the most documented example of Roman brutality extant.

 

[Orang Utan]

i quite enjoyed seeing christ suffering and ginger judas n shit - i thought it was quality torture porn, and let's face it, that's what the crucifixion's all about: sweet, sweet pain and sufferance. and tribulation. n all that shit. THAT's well torture porn.

 

[DotCommunist]

i quite enjoyed seeing christ suffering and ginger judas n shit - i thought it was quality torture porn, and let's face it, that's what the crucifixion's all about: sweet, sweet pain and sufferance. and tribulation. n all that shit. THAT's well torture porn.

NO REMISSION WITHOUT THE BLOOD

/rants

 

[Wolveryeti]

Love Actually was pretty terrible. I hate that mawkish notting hill mafia feelgood shite the UK film industry rolls out.

 

[electrogirl]

His soundtracks are wankfests too.

 

[red rose]

Boyfriend brought home Shoot Em Up the other day because it was on offer. In the 20 minutes I managed to watch before switching it off the highlight was probably Clive Owen delivering a baby during a shoot out in a warehouse and shooting the umbilical cord instead of cutting it.

A friend of mine really wanted to see Disaster Movie and so I went with her, that was an awful couple of hours.

Similarly A.I and True Romance, just terrible films.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

Clive Owen delivering a baby during a shoot out in a warehouse and shooting the umbilical cord instead of cutting it.

wait, what?

 

[red rose]

Oh yes. I don't even recommend watching it just to see.

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

was it a comedy?

 

[red rose]

It didn't seem like it.

The only 'funny' bit I noticed was when he was on the rooftop having a shoot out with a bunch of people who were behind a big neon sign and as he shot at them he managed shoot out the lights for some of the letters in the sign so that it spelled FUK U, then he jumps accross to the other building and one of the guys he was shooting at walks out from behind the sign and shoots at the sign. The camera pans out at the word TOOL at the end of the sign which previously wasn't visible has been changed so that the sign now reads FUK U TOO

 

[Shippou-Sensei]

for the one long action secuence video it looks rather superb.... but then that is because i'm guessing it's the 4 or so min of good action in a long shitty film