Weedy things you say (and sing) to cats

[Ms T]

Reversing the subject of this thread for a moment, does anyone else's cat have the ability to nag them to death without actually saying anything?

Mine is bringing his suppertime forwards by five minutes every day by means of pleading looks, sitting looking hungry by his bowl, cupboard love etc.

I have been bribing the nervous cat to be more friendly/like me by hand-feeding her bits of ham and chicken. With the result that now she sits on the stairs looking at me all the time, and she has the most amazing but disconcerting yellow eyes. at self.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Sung, to the tune of that stupid advert:

Oh you're a cat

Oh you're a cat
Oh you're a cat
Oh you're a cat
Oh you're a cat

etc

 

[cillaB]

It's the Fanny Fanu.

Who's Fanny Fanu?

and

Who is the prettiest cat?


Doing Show Cat: where you pick them up with one hand under their front armpits (?) and the other under their rear armpits, gently stretching them out to show how long they are.

 

[Jazzz]

'rear armpits'?

 

[Cakes]

"Who's my beautiful boy?
Who is the most beautiful boy?
Who is the most beautiful boy in the whole wide world?
You are!
Yes you are!"


He knows!

 

[cillaB]

'rear armpits'?

Yeah, you know, where their little back legs join their little bodies. Legpits?

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Having listened to a programme about Stephen Sondheim while travelling home on Monday, I find myself burbling like so:

Something that's witty
Something that's kitty
Something for everyone
A pussycat tonight....

 

[suzee blue cheese]

When ours has been particularly naughty, I put on a stern voice to remind him he's nothing more than a furry chicken in disguise and if he doesn't watch out he's going in the oven at Christmas.

Songs we sing but they tend to be made up on the spot and fast forgotten. Tom isn't much of a music lover..

 

[Pie 1]

They understand every single word and probably think you are slightly retarded.

That reminds me of an Eddie Izzard Sketch:

Human petting cat: " Ohhcy coochy coo, yeees, there, ohcy coo"
Thought bubble from aloof cat: " Hmm, such interesting words."

 

[butterfly child]

Has anyone seen the trailer for that show 'who would hire you'?

I've kinda adopted that one.. but last night, realised the total stupidity of it.. didn't stop me from saying it though

 

[ngeru]

I tend to have little conversations with my cat where she replies in chirp-like responses to "How's my Fuzzy-Wuzzy?" "You hungry darling beautiful animal? "What's wrong angel-face?" that kinda thing. And yes in that baby-talk tone as LDR mentioned!

I also used to speak German to my cat when I was younger & quite fluent in the language & I used to make up poems & sing to them, although can't remember what!

 

[Mrs Magpie]

Blind Lemon sings improvised French folk songs to the dog....

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Having had Rigoletto on the CD player I am afraid that La Donna é Mobile has moved me to produce nothing more profound than:

You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat...

 

[Cloo]

Having had Rigoletto on the CD player I am afraid that La Donna é Mobile has moved me to produce nothing more profound than:

You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat
You are a pussycat...

LOL! I think I'm going to start doing that one to my cat (or, as last night 'My fliffy cat! Fliffy little woman! Little chimmy-boo!) . That'll disturb her... mind you, everything does.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Three German officers stroked a cat

Parley-voo

Three German officers stroked a cat

Parley-voo

Three German officers stroked a cat
Bid her farewell and tipped their hats

Hinky-dinky-parley-voo.

 

[Orang Utan]

I speak to them as if they are superior beings.
This thread made me miss my cat.

 

[chieftain]

hello fang, how was your day, been out with your mates etc?

This and other conversations just like you'd have with anyone else you live with went you come home.

I also seem to be calling him "Henry Winkler" quite often as hes cool like the fonz!

 

[rascal]

I say to my kitten (technically a cat now) that i am going to give her kitten kisses. When she scratches me i politely request that she keep her paws gloved.

I also sing 'have i told you lately that i love you' and 'take away my sadness, fill my heart with gladness, ease my troubles, thats what you do'.

 

[sovietpop]

to my cat "whose going to be the next pope? pope pancho! the first cat pope !" etc etc until my flatmates come home

 

[dogmatique]

When it's bed time:

"Mr Jones, Mr Jones, calling Mr Jones, Mr Jones Mr Jones come in now! (Come in now!)

And I hate that song.

Or: Stephen and Jonesey sitting in my chair! K - I - S - S - I - N - G!

 

[Sasaferrato]

roflpmp!!!
You lot are so fucking hard as nails on general and here you are in the 'lounge' singing to your cats!
Fucking Ace

Guilty as charged.

Yes speak to the cats, in several languages, I don't sing though because they run away.

Like many others, if what I say to the cats was played on the radio I would never leave the house again.

 

[Sasaferrato]

I tend to have little conversations with my cat where she replies in chirp-like responses to "How's my Fuzzy-Wuzzy?" "You hungry darling beautiful animal? "What's wrong angel-face?" that kinda thing. And yes in that baby-talk tone as LDR mentioned!

I also used to speak German to my cat when I was younger & quite fluent in the language & I used to make up poems & sing to them, although can't remember what!

One of my cats talks to me, I meow at him and he meows back, I suspect that he is saying ' What have you been smoking you dozey old git? '

 

[Pol]

i just sing, theres no point talking english to a cat.

i just make odd sounds with my voicebox

 

[ngeru]

One of my cats talks to me, I meow at him and he meows back, I suspect that he is saying ' What have you been smoking you dozey old git? '

Lol - I can relate!

Last night LDR & I caught oursevles singing that song by Stevie Wonder 'Isn't she lovely? Isn't she wonderful?' when acquainting MysteryGuest with her royal highness. Actually in the past I have sung that song to her but changed the words to say 'Isn't she fuzzy? Isn't she beautiful?'.

 

[tantris]

If you get a parrot you take part in something like this:

Who's a big noisy parrot then!

Hello!

Well hello! Hello parrot! Hello!

Hello! <wolfwhistle>

Helloooooo!

Helloooooo! Hellolo!

Yeah hellolo to you too! Hellolo!

. . . .

Hello?

. . . .

Hello!

Big old bird.

Yes you are a big old bird!

<first three notes of Lilibulero>

Oh alright then! <whistles all of Lilibulero>

<first three notes of Lilibulero>

Okay one last time. <whistles all of Lilibulero>

Yeah good boy! <first three notes of Lilibulero>

Oh Christ fuck off parrot I'm not doing it again!

 

[Cloo]

Justin, I'm afraid a combination of your 'La donna e mobile' cat moment and the fact that I'm doing the chorus in a production of Handel's 'Alcina' at the moment has now inspired me to improvise mini Handelian arias to my cat:

'Chimcat! Chimcat shall flee!
She shall flee!
Shall flee away!
Shall fle-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e away!' (Handelian melisma)

'She shall flee, she shall flee, she shall flee! (rising phrase)
She shall fle-eee-e-e-e-eee-e-e-eee-e-eee-e-e-e-eeeeeee!
Chimcat shall flee away
Shall flee away
Sha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-l! Fleeeeeee!
Aaaaaaway! Chimcat shall flee away!'

And she does as well.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

I dare you to do that during the production.

 

[fubert]

i never sing to them. i just speak to them like they're people. "i suppose you want your dinner now ?" etc.

 

[behemoth]

I hate "Little Britain" catchphrases.

But when my boys are meowing for food as I'm opening the tin, I find myself muttering "What a kerfuffle" in that annoying voice, and repeating it as they are squeaking with excitement when the dishes go down on the floor.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

I've been saying 'What a kerfuffle' since before Walliams and Lucas were born...it's not a Little Britain thing at all. Actually, they probably heard me in a bus queue.....