Weedy things you say (and sing) to cats

[nicedream]

My catties are called george and oscar, oscar gets called osky-wosky and geogre is obviously georgie also georgie porgie pudding and pie.


I like saying to them ''you're a CAT; you're a kitty-cat and you meow meow meow - and you meow meow meow''. which is true, they are and they do.

 

[sparkling]

To Molly I used to sing the Flaming Lips song Yoshimi and would wave her paws around as if she was doing kung foo fighting at the appropriate bits in the song. Yoshimi seemed to suit her so well and I loved to imagine her in training to save the world from the evil robots.
I even tried changing her name for a while but she never seemed to get the transition from Molly to Yoshimi and I gave up in the end...I might go back to it today.

 

[fubert]

I've been saying 'What a kerfuffle' since before Walliams and Lucas were born...it's not a Little Britain thing at all. Actually, they probably heard me in a bus queue.....

<anal>
the little britain phrase is "a right kerfuffle'
</anal>

 

[Donna Ferentes]

I like saying to them ''you're a CAT; you're a kitty-cat and you meow meow meow - and you meow meow meow''. which is true, they are and they do.

Certainly. I say very much the same thing to the resident pussycat, who, I point out, is a pussycat, and says "miaow". I also observe that she has whiskers, and paws, and a nose. Which she does.

 

[oisleep]

this probably wont translate well, but a cat from the street comes into our flat a lot (as next door are always fighting and screaming, so i think she likes the relative peace and quiet of our flat, just found out it was a girl the other day to after 18months of saying good boy etc...)

anyway, my girlfriend and I, do like an introduction to a serious current affairs programme and introduce the panelists, and it goes

"also joined by professor julian haringrove,emiritus professor of economic and social history at london school of economics, and cat"

nah it doesn't work here does it, it would make a great sketch though



forget it

 

[Cakes]

Cake's mate

[This is an accurate transcript of an interview with a real live cat owner. We asked her, What do you say to your cat?]

Cute? Cute? Cute doesn't even come close. Adorable. Now we're getting somewhere. That is what I say hang on let me think god no let me think that is what is saw god ha hah ah ha ha no you freak ha ha ha ha eh hah ha hm m ha hang on ha ha nate you chris your a nob ha ha ha ha ha ha ha let me get an ashtray ha ah ha ha what is it aI say to the cat its ..... no ... your my boy you are the best cat ha ha ever to live ha ha heh your my boy ha ha ha ha ha ha [is that what you say to him] are you my boy ha ha ha heh ha ha um i don't know I just say loads of carzy shit to him [chris you;re doing a stirlying job look at your words per minute] do you reckon if people will know what's going on with this - i might have to go and see tucker and see what I say to him....

[edit. There's another 2 hours of this on tape, but from it we extracted the following phrases shortly before 'Cakes' mate' was sectioned and sent away for a long lie down.]

you's-kuteInnyou.

ooda-booda-booda-boy!

(Stress marked in bold FYI.)

 

[Mrs Magpie]

this probably wont translate well, but a cat from the street comes into our flat a lot (as next door are always fighting and screaming, so i think she likes the relative peace and quiet of our flat, just found out it was a girl the other day to after 18months of saying good boy etc...)

anyway, my girlfriend and I, do like an introduction to a serious current affairs programme and introduce the panelists, and it goes

"also joined by professor julian haringrove,emiritus professor of economic and social history at london school of economics, and cat"

nah it doesn't work here does it, it would make a great sketch though



forget it

Well it made me laugh.

 

[AnnaKarpik]

Last thing I said to a cat was 'You should take more care of your eye, you pillock, take care of it!' (She's only got one left and it didn't look good yesterday )

 

[Looby]

I sing 'You are my sunshine' to my boys and sometimes I make up songs for them too. All my songs seem to have bum, poo or wee in though, thinks it's because it's easy to rhyme with.

When I'm playing music I often dance round the room with them too.

 

[Hood]

Whenever I walk in to the house she runs to greet me and I say,
"HULLO CAT!"
And she says "Miaow"
Then there follows a period of stroking and scratching where I say "Have you been a good cat? You ARE a good cat, aren't you? Aren't you? Yes, yes you are" etc etc
Whenever I leave I remind her to be a good cat.

 

[John Quays]

Tom's name: spooky

My late cat bore the title 'spooky', all cats being to me, by their nature, 'spookies'. So, Spooky, Speeky, Spookytooth, Spookytooth Maloney, Hungry Maloney, Hungry: all names that came along most naturally.

No singing though, not that I remember. It was four years ago now that my old man ran him over. As a result I try desperately to attract cats towards me with gentle cries of 'spooky, spooky' but with mixed results, to be honest.

Bloody things not knowing their own names.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

You shall have a fishy
On a little dishy
You shall have a fishy
When the shopping's in

Tell me you're pretty
My little kitty
Tell me you're pretty
Tell me you're a cat.

 

[oisleep]

the cat from the street who now seems to be in permanent residence here, is often urged by my girlfriend to "choose who you are, choose who you are", preceeded and followed by "chewbacca", the aim appears to be that the cat has to choose and inform my girlfriend which star wars character he would like to be today

 

[oisleep]

in one of the posts above i said we found out after 18 months of calling him a he, that he was a girl, but subsequent to that we've since been informed (by owners) that he is a he, which is quite good as we never got used to calling him a she in that interluding period

 

[Donna Ferentes]

interluding?

 

[oisleep]

you know, the bit in the middle - when he first starting coming to our flat ages ago we thought he was a guy, but then we thought hmm, he's very keen for attention all the time and stuff then we had a bit of a rumage underneath and couldn't see anything so from that point [interlude] we assumed he was a girl but struggled to adjust in our addressals of him/her, however the other night when the whole street was out on the street due to some seige in a flat in the street, we were talking to the owner who informed us he was a guy and had just had his nuts cut off [/interlude] so now we're back to where we started

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Something of a neologism.

 

[oisleep]

give me a minute

 

[oisleep]

always wanted to be an inventor

 

[Cloo]

gsv told me recently (I now I think about it, it's true) that cats don't meow to one another - only to us. So just what are they trying to tell us?

(Maybe 'Don't talk to me like an idiot, human slave')

 

[ngeru]

Hey I never realised that. But yes must be true! Our two cats (well one of em is Maestrocloud's) they used to just hiss or growl at each other. But over recent times they only give each other the evil eye... when they're not ignoring one another!

 

[Donna Ferentes]

"We are trying to speak your crude and alien language."

 

[butterfly child]

No singing though, not that I remember. It was four years ago now that my old man ran him over. As a result I try desperately to attract cats towards me with gentle cries of 'spooky, spooky' but with mixed results, to be honest.

Awww that's really sad.

My husband says all cats respond to "ning ning ning" which is absolute riubbish. He's never successfully got a cat to come to him by saying "ning ning ning".

 

[Cloo]

My husband says all cats respond to "ning ning ning" which is absolute riubbish. He's never successfully got a cat to come to him by saying "ning ning ning".

LOL!

My preferred (mostly unsuccessful) way of attempting to call random cats is ‘Puss-puss! Puss-puss!’ Works sometimes, though.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Calling cats is a risky business.

 

[Mrs Magpie]

I go 'minou minou minou' which is how my granny called her cats.

 

[oisleep]

Calling cats is a risky business.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Splash

I never realised there was a cat in Ça Plane Pour Moi.

 

[starfish]

I have also been known to return from work shouting "Bob, Bob, dads home".
And sing "Twinkle twinkle little cat how ive wondered where youve shat"

 

[LJo]

I sing 'fooood for cats,' to the tune of 'Cool For Cats' when I feed them.

Other songs include (to the tune of that doo dar doo dar day song)

YOU'RE a stupid cat!
YOU're a stupid cat!
Clarence/Bama is a stupid cat!
He's a stupid cat!

My husband likes to call Clarence Mr C or Shitter, for reasons unknown to me. He enjoys grabbing him and shouting: "Who's my favourite shitter?" whe he gets in from work.