Even if were to I accept your mealy-mouthed "both sides" narrative, it became utterly irrelevant the very moment that Russian troops crossed the Ukrainian border. The Russian leadership had a choice, and they chose to make the situation so much worse.
You are ignoring the fact that by choosing to act like a horde of marauding orcs, the Russian government has closed off many, if not all, potential avenues for compromise in the eyes of many Ukrainians. Why the fuck should Ukrainians compromise with a regime that not only tries to gaslight and mindfuck them every step of the way, but does similar shit to their own people? Did you miss the news of negotiators being poisoned? How the fuck can you even have any sincere discussions with a party like that?
I do not at all blame any Ukrainians if they think "nah, fuck that for a lark" and decides to just shoot the Russian invaders, instead of trying to reason with them.
No, I am not. Unity isn't needed. I am saying that a large enough amount of Ukrainians are willing to put themselves on the line, enough that Russia has already had to significantly scale back their ambitions for the region. It's possible that if the war goes badly enough for the Russians, that it will cause enough trouble among the ranks and at home, and Russia will have to withdraw completely in order to deal with their own problems.
They wouldn't have any say in the planned Russification of Ukraine either. Well actually, by joining the fight today they will be contributing their straw, and the camel's back could well break before that happens.
Nebulous, unspecified "problems for the future" are a bit pathetic in the face of an ongoing invasion.