people who drink mellow birds

[DotCommunist]

just stop pretending you like coffee. You don't, otherwise you wouldn't drink a homeopath's version of it. In the new world there will be no mellow birds. Even maxwell house is prefferable to mellow fucking birds. Stick to vaugely flavoured waters. Who drinks that shit anyway, own up.

 

[tarannau]

It's only simple Northerner folks scared of coffee beans who drink Mellow Birds surely? I never had even heard of the stuff until I went to University.

TBH I think much the same of people who drink capucchinos or some of the weak abominations that count as lattes.

 

[QueenOfGoths]

Dear god do they still make that shit, and is it still in powdered form? It reminds me of church coffee mornings!

 

[Santino]

Mellow bird, up high in banana tree...

 

[Santino]

Hang on, scratch that, it's just a banana.

 

[tarannau]

IME people who drink Mellow Birds often like that granulated instant Lemon tea smeg too, Lift or whatever that's called.

 

[DotCommunist]

its when you go to someones house and they offer a hot drink- you say coffee please and then out comes the mellow birds. Politeness dictates you can't say 'NO, coffee please, not that shit'

and then you have to drink half the cup as well.

 

[Bakunin]

just stop pretending you like coffee. You don't, otherwise you wouldn't drink a homeopath's version of it. In the new world there will be no mellow birds. Even maxwell house is prefferable to mellow fucking birds. Stick to vaugely flavoured waters. Who drinks that shit anyway, own up.

Nya, Good Sir, nay!

Why, there is indeed an infinitely worse, more vile and disgusting brew than Mellow Birds (as revolting as Mellow Birds undoubtedly is). 'Tis a brew made of Satan's dropping stirred into Satan's own urine and left to blend into what is truly a form of Distilled Evilness that only the most Godless and foulest of heathens would consider drinking themselves, let alone offering to their guest (a more unforgivable insult cannot be concieved by the mind of man, methinks).

Ladies, Gentlemen and those who aren't quite sure, I present to you...

Further debate on this issue is almost certainly unnecessary.

 

[joevsimp]

IME people who drink Mellow Birds often like that granulated instant Lemon tea smeg too, Lift or whatever that's called.

I didn't know that existed until I saw it in Morrisons yesterday, (still plenty of it despite the shortages of everything else) sounds disgusting

An aquaintance of mine at uni (before he quit Biochem to do theology instead) used to drink some kind of dandelion coffee which was similarly vile

 

[fractionMan]

its when you go to someones house and they offer a hot drink- you say coffee please and then out comes the mellow birds. Politeness dictates you can't say 'NO, coffee please, not that shit'

and then you have to drink half the cup as well.

If I can't see proper coffee or a cafiterre or whatever when they ask me I always say tea. Saves the embarrassing "I'm not drinking this shit" moment.

 

[marty21]

I've never tried mellow birds - doesn't sound quite right to me

 

[Idaho]

I used to like camp coffee. Mixed with cold milk to make iced coffee.

All instant coffee is revolting. I'd rather have a glass of water.

 

[DotCommunist]

not all instant is bad. Nescafe is out on the grounds (lol) that it is made up from the bones of dead third worlders but Kenco is alright and dowe egberts is nice but pricy

 

[stupid dogbot]

All instant coffee is revolting. I'd rather have a glass of water.

This.

See also, anything with Chicory in it.

 

[kained&able]

I never realised mellow birds was a coffee substitute.

dave

 

[stupid dogbot]

I don't know about substitute, it's a very mild instant coffee powder...

 

[Steel Icarus]

Nothing more to add, other than after a few months with only coffee/chicory mix to drink, Mellow Birds is not the bottom rung.

 

[UnderOpenSky]

All instant coffee is revolting. I'd rather have a glass of water.

It's find, provided you don't try and pretend its coffee.

 

[Shirl]

It's only simple Northerner folks scared of coffee beans who drink Mellow Birds surely? I never had even heard of the stuff until I went to University.

TBH I think much the same of people who drink capucchinos or some of the weak abominations that count as lattes.

Don't go blaming us northerners
I thought Mellow Birds was custard, I've never even come across the stuff so far as I know.

I agree about capucchinos and lattes, to me coffee is freshly ground beans and water, anything else is a waste.

 

[discokermit]

i fucking hate coffee snobs. wankers.

 

[Tankus]

I used to like camp coffee. Mixed with cold milk to make iced coffee.

All instant coffee is revolting. I'd rather have a glass of water.

Thats the way I like it too ...still do ...and I don't touch instant either

 

[Bakunin]

I thought Mellow Birds was custard, I've never even come across the stuff so far as I know.

The instant custard in question is known simply as 'Birds', m'dear.

Incidentally, did you know that custard powder explodes when mixed with air and touched off with a cigarette lighter?

This scientific fact is not, however, best proven within the confined space of a kitchen in a student flat while extremely pissed and in the middle of a house party. That's one student place I'll never be invited to again.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Isn't it difficult to get the birds in the blender?

 

[ViolentPanda]

Isn't it difficult to get the birds in the blender?

Not if you electrocute them first.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

Not if you electrocute them first.

Ah, that's why they're so mellow.

 

[geminisnake]

I don't drink coffee and the last time I saw a jar of MB was over 20 yrs ago but it stank. Not like coffee, like mouldy mushrooms or something. Eew!!

LOL @ Bakunin and his science

 

[ericjarvis]

In the instant coffee hall of shame Mellow Birds only narrowly edges out Maxwell House to take last place. Nescafe is a close third, with Camp Coffee not quite making the bottom three. Oddly enough Tesco own brand Gold doesn't qualify at all, being just about drinkable, whereas Nescafe Gold Blend qualifies both on the ground of (lack of) taste and traumatic memories of horrific ads featuring Tony Head and Sharon Maughan.

 

[vauxhallmum]

I used to like camp coffee. Mixed with cold milk to make iced coffee.

All instant coffee is revolting. I'd rather have a glass of water.

I used to love Camp Coffee when I was a child. I thought it was sophisticated
I'm a tea drinker at heart.

 

[Espresso]

In the instant coffee hall of shame Mellow Birds only narrowly edges out Maxwell House to take last place. Nescafe is a close third, with Camp Coffee not quite making the bottom three. Oddly enough Tesco own brand Gold doesn't qualify at all, being just about drinkable, whereas Nescafe Gold Blend qualifies both on the ground of (lack of) taste and traumatic memories of horrific ads featuring Tony Head and Sharon Maughan.

Talking of Tesco, for gobsmackingly decent instant coffee, you won't go far wrong with Tesco Classic Rich Roast. It's about tuppence ha'penny for the smallest jar. So it's worth a try for anyone who's a prole like me and who doesn't actually object to instant coffee as a point of principle, but who thinks Maxwell House and Nescafe are gak.

Once upon a time my uncle offered me a coffee and gave me Barleycup. Holy sweet Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezus, that's some nasty shit. It must have been about twenty years ago now but the thought of it still gives me the boke. AND they still make it.

 

[Tankus]

The instant custard in question is known simply as 'Birds', m'dear.

Incidentally, did you know that custard powder explodes when mixed with air and touched off with a cigarette lighter?

This scientific fact is not, however, best proven within the confined space of a kitchen in a student flat while extremely pissed and in the middle of a house party. That's one student place I'll never be invited to again.

1g custard bang in 1.2 litres of air
http://www.explosiontesting.co.uk/primary_video_11.html

lots of sugar places gone up