Men’s violence against women and girls is a national emergency
- Thread starter ElizabethofYork
- Start date
Or that the police want to improve their image following the recent spate of serving officers convicted of violence against women. I don't think it really matters that much whether offences are 5% higher or lower then a decade ago, or whether changes are due to increased reporting or not. It is as you say a national fucking emergency and has been for our entire lifetimes.
story
Changing the facts
A mate I was talking with recently was a victim of child abuse at the hands of his father. Beatings. He’s only just started to deal with the ways that has impacted on his own development and behaviour patterns.
He said “But was it really so bad in the past? I mean, it was really common, loads of people were abused, but everyone just got on with it didn’t they? Are people more coddled these days and therefore less able to handle it?”
We talked for a long time about this. I was saying that “handling it” isn’t necessarily the best option cos it results in projection and acting out on others.
But I was stuck by how he was trying to keep the violence in a tidy box that was labeled “it’s not that bad”.
I wonder if that tendency is one of the things that contributes to reluctance to deal with the larger systemic problem.
Are we collectively and individually reluctant to go there because the pain of doing so will be hard to deal with?
Having to face our own responsibility in colluding in keeping it all going… if we really look into that, will we come up against the ways we’ve been let down, hurt, harmed, twisted and broken? Is that reluctance to face the pain one of the things that stops us from unpicking our own contributions to the bullshit?
As an example, the shitstorm of boarding school survivor syndrome. So many men at the top have this underneath their pathological success. If they really look at rage despair grief etc experienced as a result of being sent way so young…. That would potentially destabilise everything.
The scaffolding is perilously brittle and unmoored.
Maybe part of the problem is how afraid we are - individually and collectively - to shake the framework.
He said “But was it really so bad in the past? I mean, it was really common, loads of people were abused, but everyone just got on with it didn’t they? Are people more coddled these days and therefore less able to handle it?”
We talked for a long time about this. I was saying that “handling it” isn’t necessarily the best option cos it results in projection and acting out on others.
But I was stuck by how he was trying to keep the violence in a tidy box that was labeled “it’s not that bad”.
I wonder if that tendency is one of the things that contributes to reluctance to deal with the larger systemic problem.
Are we collectively and individually reluctant to go there because the pain of doing so will be hard to deal with?
Having to face our own responsibility in colluding in keeping it all going… if we really look into that, will we come up against the ways we’ve been let down, hurt, harmed, twisted and broken? Is that reluctance to face the pain one of the things that stops us from unpicking our own contributions to the bullshit?
As an example, the shitstorm of boarding school survivor syndrome. So many men at the top have this underneath their pathological success. If they really look at rage despair grief etc experienced as a result of being sent way so young…. That would potentially destabilise everything.
The scaffolding is perilously brittle and unmoored.
Maybe part of the problem is how afraid we are - individually and collectively - to shake the framework.
emanymton
A cat politely sat on the flaming gardener.
I read this article this morning just a cycle a male violence.
www.theguardian.com
One man with with apparently a history of frequent attacks on women. Who was then murderd in revenge for one of those attacks. One of his killers then gets declared a hero for his actions during the London bridge attacks. Another act of violence in response to another act of violence.
My ex was brutally murdered. Then his killer was hailed a national hero
When the father of Vicky Foster’s children was killed, in 2005, she was trying to rebuild her life after his abuse. But years later, the London Bridge attack brought his death back into sharp focus
One man with with apparently a history of frequent attacks on women. Who was then murderd in revenge for one of those attacks. One of his killers then gets declared a hero for his actions during the London bridge attacks. Another act of violence in response to another act of violence.
May Kasahara
take me to the feeling
And an excellent point made by Vicky Foster that individual short term, in the moment acts of bravery by men are lauded and celebrated, while the often longer term bravery and resilience shown by women (surviving abuse, escaping abusers, protecting and bringing up children in the face of individual and systemic misogyny) go under the radar.
Aladdin
Well-Known Member
I'd love to believe that sensible discussion would work but honestly I don't believe it would stop it.
Laws rigorously imposed will be the only way for this to stop. Zero tolerance...across the Internet and social media workplaces, universities and schools
krtek a houby
Merry Xmas!
It's a powerful story and worth recommend all to read it. And it's not an easy read, at that.
Silas Loom
Hated by both sides
There was discussion upthread about the relationship between pornography and VAWG, which I thought could benefit from a separate thread here:
bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
Sometimes it seems that VAWG isn't taken as seriously as it might be. OTOH the legal system is experiencing appalling delays and the prisons are full.
Rafferty gets two years suspended and victim lost friends, felt suicidal and was afraid to leave home.
www.standard.co.uk
Rafferty gets two years suspended and victim lost friends, felt suicidal and was afraid to leave home.
EastEnders actor spared jail after slashing woman with knife
Harry Rafferty flew into a ‘rage’ after woman rejected his sexual advances
www.standard.co.uk
MrsArcanum
This is Ruby, conqueror of the Scotland 500.
I do wonder if the prudishness about the human body has contributed to the fetishization. With maybe a more healthy view that bodies are not something to be ashamed of or hidden away, and that the people in those bodies be treated as fellow humans and not things to be objectified or abused.
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bluescreen
tofu eating wokerati
I dunno. Do German naturists watch porn?
8ball
Decolonise colons!
National emergency but punch and knife a woman multiple times for rejecting you and get a curfew
EastEnders actor spared jail after slashing woman with knife
Harry Rafferty flew into a ‘rage’ after woman rejected his sexual advances
Wtf!!?!! And no jail time??
trashpony
Hag
Nope, a redemption arc. And all the jails are full anyway. Knife women all you like, it’s fine. We should just say yes to every unwanted sexual advance because it’s our own fault if we get hurt when we say no.
Aladdin
Well-Known Member
Men are also the perpetrators of much more murders.
Murder in the U.S.: number of offenders by gender 2022 | Statista
In 2022, there were 15,094 murder offenders in the United States who were male, in comparison to 2,107 who were female.
www.statista.com
And then there is this...
"The percentage of females murdered by an intimate partner was 5 times higher than for males
Of the estimated 4,970 female victims of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter in 2021, data reported by law enforcement agencies indicate that 34% were killed by an intimate partner (figure 1). By comparison, about 6% of the 17,970 males murdered that year were victims of intimate partner homicide."That's from 2022.
Could well be even worse now.
equationgirl
Respect my existence or expect my resistance
Also posted on the 'filth by name ' thread but thought it might be of interest here too - this is why rape goes unreported, two forces and the CPS have mishandled this case for eight years:
Woman says police errors have left rape suspect free to stalk her
The alleged rape was reported in 2017 but is yet to go to court. The justice system is "broken", she says.
www.bbc.co.uk
ElizabethofYork
Old Crone
I'm feeling very frightened and distressed about what's happening. The unremitting violence against women and girls, the hatred I see every day on social media, and now the rioting and unrest breaking out. I think I might barricade myself in my house and stay there. Everything feels so threatening.
I feel like that some days myself. It's certainly put me off going to matches - when I was at Gainsborough Trinity last weekend, there was a group of loud obnoxious men shouting 'you fat bastard' at someone and I did feel a bit twitchy near them. But I'm not going to stop living my life just because of some idiot Neanderthal men. I am one of the lucky ones, admittedly, because the men in my family are decent people and not disgusting woman-hating Andrew Tate fans. I am wary around large groups of men though. And before anyone calls me classist, that includes hoorays.
trashpony
Hag
Not national but I think this belongs here. Taylor Swift concerts cancelled in Vienna because of threatened terrorist attacks. Two young men arrested, one who has pledged alliance to the Islamic State Taylor Swift Vienna concerts cancelled after attack threat
Some people may say this isn’t violence against women and girls but I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that concerts by female singers with an overwhelmingly female fan base are targeted.
Some people may say this isn’t violence against women and girls but I don’t believe it’s a coincidence that concerts by female singers with an overwhelmingly female fan base are targeted.
Sadly, at least some involved would likely consider that well played
GarveyLives
Well-Known Member
The Metropolitan Police says it is “extremely sorry” for failures in protecting two domestic murder victims from harm.2 million women a year are victims of male violence.
Violence against women a ‘national emergency’ in England and Wales, police say
National Police Chiefs’ Council analysis reveals 2m women a year estimated to be victims of male violence
Two vulnerable women, Naomi Hunte and Fiona Holm, were killed 17 months apart within a few miles of each other in South London.
Behind the recent successful conviction of Carl Cooper lies a catalogue of failures which both families believe could have saved the lives of their loved ones:
The Late Naomi Hunte
The Late Fiona Holm
“We again extend our sincere condolences to their families as they continue to grieve for these two beloved women.
“We have always been clear that we made mistakes when dealing with allegations against Carl Cooper. For those mistakes we are extremely sorry.”
trashpony
Hag
Look at their report titled Brought to Justice: UPDATE: Domestic abuser who killed two women is sentenced to life imprisonment where it reads like it was through their indefatigable efforts they found this guy.
In actual fact, both women had repeatedly contacted the police to say they were scared of Carl Cooper and the Met did fuck all
RIP Fiona and Naomi. They haven’t found Fiona. Just awful for her family and no remorse at all. The psycho shit head is enjoying the control.
And let’s add to this thread the woman and 11 year old girl who were stabbed in Leicester Square today.
In actual fact, both women had repeatedly contacted the police to say they were scared of Carl Cooper and the Met did fuck all
RIP Fiona and Naomi. They haven’t found Fiona. Just awful for her family and no remorse at all. The psycho shit head is enjoying the control.
And let’s add to this thread the woman and 11 year old girl who were stabbed in Leicester Square today.
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Young women, middle-aged women, elderly women, very elderly women. Absolutely horrifying.
www.theguardian.com
Killed women count: 50 women allegedly killed by men in UK so far in 2024
Throughout the year the Guardian aims to report on every woman whose death has led to a man being charged
Smokeandsteam
Working Class First
A 50% increase is merely due to greater reporting apparently.
Violent attacks against women on trains rise by more than 50%
www.thetimes.com
Violent attacks against women on trains rise by more than 50%
Violent attacks against women on trains rise by more than 50%
British Transport Police attribute the rise to a greater reporting of offences, but the increase highlights growing concerns over safety on public transport
www.thetimes.com
_Russ_
Never not Knowingly Misunderstood
Not even in a secure Hospital, I suppose they full too?.
When even the judge states a sentence for serious physical assault is suspended partly because the jails are full he is saying he can't administer the law properly and we are in a very bad place.
Though I wouldnt discount the possibility that the judge is just using that as an excuse to mask his own bias towards leniency to succesful white men and/or misogynistic attitude to women
Serge Forward
Just enjoyin' my coffee.
The Guardian has listed all the women murdered this year in the UK, where men have been charged. Killed women count: 50 women allegedly killed by men in UK so far in 2024. They use "allegedly" since these are ongoing cases.
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