Men’s violence against women and girls is a national emergency

[belboid]

very often we regret the things we didnt do , more than we regret the things we did ....

and if you’re mother calls, be sure to tell her…

 

[tardigrade]

There is an ‘ignore poster’ button which is a useful friend. We all have at least one person on there.

Thanks, I know I have the option to ignore those who persist in trying to goad me. I'll use it if I see fit, but not for now

 

[CNT36]

No, hang about, this is a little unfair, surely. I’m just suggesting that it should be easier for women to warn other women about abusers in a fragmented and mobile society.

You could argue that any mitigation against VAWG could be used to blame women if it isn’t used, from calling the police to staying in a refuge.

It wouldn't be a bad thing if men could update it as well.

A friend of an ex went out with a guy. Everyone thought he was great. I said he was a knob and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. It gets back to her and there's a bit of shitstorm. Fast forward a bit and he beats her up a few times and fuck knows what else. She never really told a lot of people but vaguely mentioned it to me because she'd been told what I'd said about him.

Fast forward a few years he was going out with someone else I kind of knew. I knew her through a forum, had seen her at a few gigs and shared lifts etc. I didn't say anything. How could I? I'd thought about approaching her as she went to the bar or something but couldn't imagine thay going well. A while later the forum had closed down but returned briefly and she'd posted about an experience. She didn't name names but same shit had happened.

A while later saw him with someone else I'd never met...

Something like this would have been handy.

 

[equationgirl]

Oh look yet another new member just pops up to attack marginalised women while white knighting ...

No he didn't. Can you stop picking on any new posters please?

 

[Callie]

and if you’re mother calls, be sure to tell her…

Wethers?!

 

[quimcunx]

Until men put their house in order they're on curfew. We discussed this before on Curfew For Men

I'm in favour.

 

[ElizabethofYork]

Until men put their house in order they're on curfew. We discussed this before on Curfew For Men

I'm in favour.

Yes, it seems to be the logical answer.

 

[Serge Forward]

Can you please stop having a go at people based on how long they’ve been on the boards, thanks.

And that was from someone who joined a year ago who's now complaining about "new posters". Pots and kettles eh.

 

[kabbes]

Until men put their house in order they're on curfew. We discussed this before on Curfew For Men

I'm in favour.

Sadly, the biggest volume of the problem occurs at home in any case

 

[cupid_stunt]

If girls and women were trained in extreme martial arts or boxing, believe me they would know how to fight back instinctively. Self defense classes don't go far enough.
As far attackers coming from behind, always be aware of your surroundings, especially at night.
Obviously it wouldn't be a good idea to punch a cop who approached us! But if they're not in a police car (he wasn't), nor in uniform (he wasn't), be very suspicious and look for a way to escape.

Is this tobyjug?

 

[cupid_stunt]

Size doesn't matter as much, if you have some kind of weapon to use against them.

It's got to be.

 

[Glitter]

Could a new thread be started asking men for their views on this? It'd be interesting to get their viewpoint.

If you want men’s views you can literally look on any of the threads on here about women’s issues.

This one has gone slightly better than usual, with a few women sticking around for the discussion, but most of us can’t be arsed anymore.

Kudos to those still willing to.

 

[tardigrade]

Is this tobyjug?

So, you are jumping on the bandwagon of assuming I'm someone else

 

[tardigrade]

It's got to be.

You have no idea who I am.

 

[cupid_stunt]

What about the men on here who don’t even bother reading threads like this.
They’re right here and presumably find these threads not worth bothering with. Are they part of the problem too? How do we draw them into the conversation?

I started off reading this thread, but unwatched it when one poster tried to drag it off-topic, and turn it into a trans thread.

TBH I simply don't have any answers to this problem, I just can't get my head around some men are violent towards, it's totally alien to me.

 

[kabbes]

TBH I simply don't have any answers to this problem, I just can't get my head around some men are violent towards, it's totally alien to me.

As a starting point, I would point you to this, which is intended as something to think about if you have this kind of response.

 

[tardigrade]

If you want men’s views you can literally look on any of the threads on here about women’s issues.

This one has gone slightly better than usual, with a few women sticking around for the discussion, but most of us can’t be arsed anymore.

Kudos to those still willing to.

That's dispiriting and sad to hear. I'm guessing this is a male dominated forum then?

 

[SpookyFrank]

And you're arrogant enough to lecture someone without knowing them.

First day on the internet huh?

 

[burtabraham]

Might it be worth having a thread specifically for discussing the effect of patriarchy upon women in which men can't post? And maybe a similar one for how patriarchy effects men, in which women can't? A third thread could be a place for people to dialog together. Might lead to less bunfights, and so a more productive set of outcomes. Just a random brainfart.

 

[tardigrade]

First day on the internet huh?

Oh please, your sarcasm is so boring.

 

[cupid_stunt]

As a starting point, I would point you to this, which is intended as something to think about if you have this kind of response.

Cheers, I get all that, but I haven't got the time or energy to read and properly engage with this thread, I unwatched it because of InArduisFouette taking it over, and now this newbie has turned-up to trash it more, I have no time for those posters.

My total respect to all those below in this list, but I am sorry, those two have wrecked the thread for me.

 

[tardigrade]

Cheers, I get all that, but I haven't got the time or energy to read and properly engage with this thread, I unwatched it because of InArduisFouette taking it over, and now this newbie has turned-up to trash it more, I have no time for those posters.

My total respect to all those below in this list, but I am sorry, those two have wrecked the thread for me.


View attachment 434847

Way to trash another thread! Totally unnecessary post and listing members is uncalled for. Go find some other thread to play in.

 

[Pickman's model]

Is this tobyjug?

You missed tobyjug by a mere 11 years, he's not come back while you've been here

 

[Pickman's model]

Way to trash another thread! Totally unnecessary post and listing members is uncalled for. Go find some other thread to play in.

You're a mite early in your urban career to be assuming the role of moderator

 

[kabbes]

InArduisFouette actually makes some pretty insightful social analysis. It can be tricky to recognise this (for me, at least) because the analysis is always seen through one very specific lens (and with plenty of invective to boot). The gut reaction is to roll the eyes and think “not THIS again”. But I generally find it is worth persisting in the attempt to read through it and get to the point beneath. Somebody who has had to spend their life reflecting on the intersection of society and gender is normally worth listening to on subjects that relate to the intersection of society and gender.

Tardigrade, so far, strikes me as a classic internet narcissist, who wants to make a discussion about their personal circumstances and then act all hurt when people attempt to engage with the subject of their personal circumstances. Such types come and go — just ignore the acres of flounce and woe-is-me and concentrate on what’s left.

 

[tardigrade]

You're a mite early in your urban career to be assuming the role of moderator

Haha, so funny. If you want to have a go at someone, maybe choose the person who unnecessarily posted just now.

 

[tardigrade]

Tardigrade, so far, strikes me as a classic internet narcissist, who wants to make a discussion about their personal circumstances and then act all hurt when people attempt to engage with the subject of their personal circumstances. Such types come and go — just ignore the acres of flounce and woe-is-me and concentrate on what’s left.

Wow, I hit a nerve when calling you arrogant! You use language as a passive aggressive technique, to belittle new members. Try using words that don;t come from your big book of psychoanalysis.

 

[Silas Loom]

Wow, I hit a nerve when calling you arrogant! You use language as a passive aggressive technique, to belittle new members. Try using words that don;t come from your big book of psychoanalysis.

He does it to all of us tbf. He means it kindly.

 

[Pickman's model]

Haha, so funny. If you want to have a go at someone, maybe choose the person who unnecessarily posted just now.

That'd be you then.

 

[Pickman's model]

Wow, I hit a nerve when calling you arrogant! You use language as a passive aggressive technique, to belittle new members. Try using words that don;t come from your big book of psychoanalysis.

Try getting a dictionary