Thanks you might be right.
You know what it is, since I'm acting all messed up, I feel like I'm being watched, recorded and this place is in on it. And like I'm constantly being referred to, positive and negative.
So it gets on top of me and I act out a bit.
I know it sounds vain and I'm not a prolific poster but it kind of stresses me and like say the pope, or Biden or whatever are expecting something from me.
That's like a small part of it, and realise it's unlikely but thought I might get one knocked down by saying.
Why do I say this, dunno, thought a collective 'don't be silly' response might give me a nudge in the right direction.