What fuels the problems that men face in the world?
Is it women in power?
Is it matriarchy?
omg, wait, no! It's patriarchy! It's a system that pushes certain gender norms that say men should be X and women should be Y. Overwhelmingly, those rules benefit the people who traditionally hold power: white, rich, straight, able-bodied men.
These lines get blurred quite a bit when you add good old fashioned capitalism into the mix, which is why we might see a black man become quite rich - but he's still more likely to be stopped and searched and face abuse as a result of his skin colour than a white man, and indeed more than a white woman. It's why we might see a rich white woman find it easier to pursue her dreams than a poor white woman, but she's still more likely to be raped than a rich white man or a poor white man or a poor black man, etc., while at the same time she's less likely to be raped than a poor woman, particularly if that woman is not white.
Patriarchy and capitalism are complex interwoven things that act on all of us constantly.
For example, the systems and circumstances that stop women from being able to enjoy the freedom men do when it comes to matters of childcare and parenthood are the same ones that might cause some judges to give mothers preference in custody cases -- women are built up in society to be seen as the 'natural' caregiver, they get less job opportunities, get less money, have less time to spend pursuing anything outside of childrearing, are described by their role as 'mother' before anything else, are treated as baby-making factories, and so on, so when they fight against that automatic role they are given they are also fighting for the benefit of men to be allowed to have that role should they wish, the outcome of breaking down that stereotype of woman as mother will also break down the stereotype of man as distant parent and enable them to be more active in their child's life without fear of being seen as less than a 'real' man.
I say 'some judges' because while this is bandied around loudly by a lot of men's rights types and so on, there's
evidence that all is not as it seems. In addition, certainly in the US when state courts are assessing what is in the best needs of the child they often look to
who has been the 'primary caregiver' over the child's life so far, and because of the way women are automatically expected to be the primary caregiver
it's only logical that they will end up being the ones who get custody. I'm sure there are plenty of men who will chime up and say "but I look after my child" or "I'd love to be the primary caregiver," and I'm sure there are a few who are, but overwhelmingly, just in terms of weight of numbers, time and time again it ends up working out the other way. If women are given custody more often than men, is that because women are more powerful than men? Is it because women have more freedom than men? Is it because women are the ones who make decisions about this? Is it because women are in control? Is it because women get preferential treatment and men are treated like crap? No to all of the above. It's because women are subject to the biases of a system that expects them to take on a particular role - a role that proscribes their success and behaviour and equal opportunity. Men are also subject to the biases of that system. For the most part they benefit from it, but as soon as they don't it's the woman's fault? No. It's the system's fault. Fight it TOGETHER.
I'm sure, Johnny, you'll reply with "But..." Don't waste your breath. I'm not interested in what you have to say. You've shown little to no interest in giving even the smallest of shits about anything anyone has to say about any of this. Ever. You have your worldview, and you're determined that no woman ever is going to be allowed to explain her experience of life without you telling her she's got it all wrong somehow, and that really she should incorporate what you think about it all. Or you'll give us some guff about this woman you know from some place somewhere who totally agrees with you and doesn't have it as bad as all that, so everything else is invalidated.
Don't bother. Just fuck off. You show a glimmer, here and there, that you might be listening, but in the end you just can't help yourself, you just have to wade in with the same old shit. You're told time and time again that what you say is bullshit, that it's not welcome, and I'm yet to see one positive outcome for you on any thread about this sort of thing that you contribute to. Shouldn't that give you a hint that you're on a hiding to nothing?
Do us all a favour. Fuck off. Read these threads if you want. Try to educate yourself, please. But do us all a favour and let us have the space to discuss things without having to fend off your puerile fucking bullshit over and over and over again.
I am a woman, in a thread about International Women's Day, TELLING you to give us the space to talk about issues that affect women without having to navigate your derailing shit yet again. I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Fuck off.