Sweet FA
✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪
Also Johnny Vodka, if this is something you want to talk about, maybe n&s might be a more sympathetic place?
International Mens Day
- Thread starter Kesher
- Start date
camouflage
gaslit at scale.
Struggling with the negative emotion of persistent rejection while also being male doesn't make you a "sad wanker" or a self-entitled rapey sex-bully. It's a bad spiral of negative feedback, not uncommon among us humans, you're not alone among "the ranks of the freaks that suspect they could never love anyone" (or be loved in this case). People might tell you to fake confidence- after all as a man no woman (we are told), wants some sad miserable weak fuck incapable of projecting the required capacity to dominate/be strong/protect, etc. But perhaps you don't want to fake anything, how you feel about what you keep experiencing is how you feel.
In my opinion you feel what you feel and do so for a reason, you don't have to fake anything. But try an break out of the spiral, negativity pulls in a negative response... so try to build-up positive feelings about yourself through other activities away from the long dark yearn. A bit of sadness can even be attractive if wrapped with a certain mystery... fuck it, why not make the shit work for you. To be fair, activating the fail-safe of 'not caring/bothering anymore (the long goodnight of the hunger strike... what can I say, I like that song
) is an okay first step to break the neg-spiral and start building that self-worth. It's a head-trap that's all, and being caught in it doesn't make you a bad person or a pathetic fuck-up, it's a head-trap that can be gotten out of.Dunno if any of this is of any worth or usefullness to you but you have my sympathy, a lot of people go through this kind of shite in various ways, it's normal.
krtek a houby
Merry Xmas!
Perhaps. Perhaps urban could do with spreading the sympathy and understanding across the forums.
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
I don't particularly. Believe it or not, IRL people generally find me funny, not depressing. I just jumped in coz Pengaleng was giving shit to another poster on the issue and I wanted to highlight that finding it difficult to find sex/intimacy isn't trivial, which those who take it for granted might not realise. 90% of the time I'm quite happy on my own. I think there's a knock on effect in that when you do build up the necessary toughness to not care about being alone, you also become far less warm to friends, family, etc.
I wasnt 'giving shit' to anyone.
johnny if you did a thread that didnt sound like you were bemoaning being alone while not actively doing anything about it or yourself and responding to everything with a 'but' excuse as to whats holding you back then I'm pretty sure people wouldnt give the same reaction.
johnny if you did a thread that didnt sound like you were bemoaning being alone while not actively doing anything about it or yourself and responding to everything with a 'but' excuse as to whats holding you back then I'm pretty sure people wouldnt give the same reaction.
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
That's a matter of interpretation...
gonna bother to call me out? or just gonna moan about it as well?
am assuming you mean stella? - wasnt really 'giving shit' was it.
if you think it was then I dunno why cus I aint really got a reputation for half arsed shit giving have I.
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
Yup & that's a matter for individuals to judge, though admittedly it's not the easiest seeing as she's deleted stuff from many of her posts. But your tone was a bit shit in response to someone who might be experiencing real issues. Anyway, I won't be bothered arguing with you on this further.
judge away, my tone was fitting for someone who had just outed me when I've said nothing explicit on the subject on here. or should my tone have been screaming at her about respecting my identity like she frequently does to people? seeing as I go through 'real issues' as well.
shes probably deleted that bit by now though :')
believe me that wasnt harsh at all for the levels of anger it gave me.
but it's only her issues that are 'real' or worth anything right?
oh and it's only now that you 'cant be arsed' to argue is it? thanks for the shut down.
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Sweet FA
✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪
Well say what you mean then rather than pissing around.
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
wouldnt bother if I were you.
Sweet FA
✪ Three rounds Lord, in my .44 ✪
A few pages ago you were talking as though you were depressed and lonely, unable to find a relationship and not sure why. pengaleng gave you some sound, if erm robust advice. I point you to n&s (though tbh, your posting history re: women kind of made me think, I'm not really surprised you might be having trouble getting laid). camouflage also takes the time to give advice but with more sympathy. Then it turns out that actually you're OK but were making some kind of point. Just make the fucking point.I think my posts have been quite clear.
Christ knows pengaleng doesn't need anyone to talk for them but I haven't particularly seen them give shit to anyone tbh (bar FabricLiveBaby! tho they later apologised). The stuff with AuntiStella is confusing as fuck as I think she's got loads of people on ignore so thinks things are aimed at her when they're not. Or maybe they are, fucked if I know. You have to have read every thread where trans issues are discussed to know the history behind the beefs (beeves?); made more difficult as it comes up all over the shop.
cantsin
Well-Known Member
It feels like yr sailing close to a more benevolent end of PUA territory here - ie : build your technique build yr confidence, don't feel sorry for yourself cos that's unattractive etc ....which may have some truth in it ( and deffo forms the basis for dodgy credos that sell books / live appearance tickets for a few slippery cnuts )
But isn't the reality more that we live in an ever more atomised , individualistic world with ever more pervasive / powerful forms of media Bearing down on us , constantly reinforcing daft, unattainable ideals of beauty and desirability, that they use to sell us shit ? = more and more people single for life, more and more unhappy in that situation, but unable to do much about it, whatever " confidence " levels etc
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
I think Pengaleng's quoting from 'the book'. I don't think Pengaleng has any experience of what we're discussing. "Just take some confidence classes and cheer up. Honestly, it's something we all suffer from."
Plus I get the impression Pengaleng enjoys the reaction of giving it harsh.I didnt tell you to build your 'PU technique' I didnt direct you to a roosh v seminar. I think yer just twisting shit.
I didnt say dont feel sorry for yourself - I did say - probably not very clearly - that presenting feeling sorry for yourself to other people is only going to ever be seen in a negative pitiful way and the majority of people arent going to be attracted to miserable people
you think whatever you want about what I 'enjoy' or dont enjoy
turn the media off. I stopped watching news and tv and reading magazines - it helps.
I didnt say dont feel sorry for yourself - I did say - probably not very clearly - that presenting feeling sorry for yourself to other people is only going to ever be seen in a negative pitiful way and the majority of people arent going to be attracted to miserable people
you think whatever you want about what I 'enjoy' or dont enjoy
turn the media off. I stopped watching news and tv and reading magazines - it helps.
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Idris2002
canadian girlfriend
A related outcome of that atomization is that you get people who have no idea what to do if they want to approach someone else with a view to a sexual or romantic relationship - and by that I mean they don't even know the basics. Telling them "be yourself" is no use, when they don't even know what "be" means in that situation. Hence the market for the PUA thing and its attendant evils.
Idris2002
canadian girlfriend
You should listen to pengaleng. It's not a case of someone giving it to you harsh, it's a case of someone giving it to you straight.I think Pengaleng's quoting from 'the book'. I don't think Pengaleng has any experience of what we're discussing. "Just take some confidence classes and cheer up. Honestly, it's something we all suffer from."
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Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
Except I don't think that's way I come across IRL. I do have a sense of humour... But what I won't do now is ask anyone out, not even on a dating site (will only go as far as 'liking' profiles).
no one is born with any innate knowledge of how to ask people out it's shit you learn it's why being a teenager is awkward as fuck
but this is your problem, you just are hanging around on a ledge instead of jumping off going fuck the consequences because of fear.
Idris2002
canadian girlfriend
Some people really don't get the chance to learn!
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
There are consequences of being said 'no' to in social circles. I honestly think you're speaking from a position of someone who hasn't experienced truckloads of rejection. Trust me, I've been rejected a few times before actually asking people out (not that I was going to, anyway). If you've never had your confidence severely torn for pro-longed periods, I don't think you can comment. It's like someone who has never had anxiety trying to tell someone how to deal with anxiety...
because they dont take the risk of putting themselves out there.
you keep going on about this like I am supposed to offer up stories of my rejection experiences, you keep painting like I aint ever had to get over that. I've got over a fuck load. what I do know is that after rejection you put more effort into yourself not less.
what consequences do you suffer from being told 'no'?
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
And what are your rejection experiences in ratio to when you've had a positive reaction?
Johnny Vodka its quite normal for someone to show their not interested sometimes it can seem rude but it's really just to avoid confusion.
Johnny Vodka
The Abominable Scotsman
It's (now) about you giving patronising 'advice' on something you know sod all about.
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