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GB News: a thread so you never have to watch it

platinumsage said:
I thought they were going to be a proper news channel, with actual news bulletins, and a helicopter over Whitehall during demos from where they point out the woke maskless rentamobs viciously tripping up police horses with their bodies. When there wasn't much political news to talk about I thought they'd have other actual news, like coastal flooding or something, perhaps putting their spin on it by suggesting foreign aid could be redirected to build flood defences.

But no, it seems they don't do any news at all, it's just endless chitchat manufacturing outrage about marginal topics that bear no relation to the headlines that other news organisations are carrying.
Click to expand...
From day one, they were designed to be 'easily clippable'/sharable news programmes similar to Fox News or NBC in the States.
The problem, for them, is that Fox and NBC have been doing it for years and slick, efficient, and above all, professional about it.

The good news, for us, is becausenots so badly, they've become their own meme making machine.
 
Just thought I would dip in at 9.40 am, whilst making a cup of tea, just a blank screen, came back for a few seconds, I just heard the words 'absolute nightmare', before it went blank again followed by GBN logo, which continued until 9.54 am, just briefly interrupted by 30-seconds of a live interview with Grant Shapps, before disappearing again, they managed it get out an ad break, then nothing, now gone to a repeat of some show that's not supposed to be on.

So, they have playout, just totally lost the studio, hopefully never to be found again. :D
 
Saw one ad break, some cosmetics company I’d never heard of. That was it, just one ad.
I expect the rates are quite good at the moment.
 
magneze said:
Ok, my interest was piqued. Tuned in for 1 minute. Interview with some religious guy who you couldn't hear because his mic level was much lower than the interviewer. Sounds like this may not be a new problem? 🤣
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His mic was corrected after the first minute or two, then they cut him off mid-sentence, rather than wait until that interview had finished, which would have been the professional option, but I guess they were over excited to be going back to the live studio.
 
Every morning I have to take a mountain of pills, I fucking hate it. However, threads like this on Twitter always cheer me the fuck up.

The hashtag #craftywank is trending on Twitter because someone joked odious grifter Darren Grimes earned this nickname after being caught having a wank at school. The comments of this GBN tweet is flooded with wanking jokes.

 
bemused said:
Every morning I have to take a mountain of pills, I fucking hate it. However, threads like this on Twitter always cheer me the fuck up.

The hashtag #craftywank is trending on Twitter because someone joked odious grifter Darren Grimes earned this nickname after being caught having a wank at school. The comments of this GBN tweet is flooded with wanking jokes.

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I like , ' can you make sure Darren keeps his hands visible at all times' .:D
 
cupid_stunt said:
Just thought I would dip in at 9.40 am, whilst making a cup of tea, just a blank screen, came back for a few seconds, I just heard the words 'absolute nightmare', before it went blank again followed by GBN logo, which continued until 9.54 am, just briefly interrupted by 30-seconds of a live interview with Grant Shapps, before disappearing again, they managed it get out an ad break, then nothing, now gone to a repeat of some show that's not supposed to be on.

So, they have playout, just totally lost the studio, hopefully never to be found again. :D
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Thats just their new channel ident, Gone Blank News.
 
I have this reworked bruce banger in my head now which is distracting me from work. Grounds for a suit?

The information highway's jammed with broken heroes
On a last chance power craftywank
 
Bollocks, I going to post some stats from 'Broadcast Now', but closed the tab in error, and now I've reached my 5 free articles limit for the month. :facepalm:

Basically, it was a more in-depth look at the BARB figures I posted yesterday, and apparently they averaged just 28k viewers between 6am and midnight compared to 70k in their first week, now that media research company reckons they need to average 135k to cover their £25m a year budget from advertising.

So, it's all going well. :D

www.broadcastnow.co.uk

More declines at GB News

Fledgling channel falls further behind BBC and Sky
www.broadcastnow.co.uk www.broadcastnow.co.uk
 
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8ball said:
Watched a bit tonight.
Entire station seems to be sponsored by the coronavirus.
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Coronavirus, taking the knee/BLM, the Royal family & immigration, seem to be the four main subjects they like to bang on about.

A mate dipped in about half an hour after England lost the Euros final, to find Wootton & co. banging on about taking the knee :facepalm:, and dipped straight back out again.

I had seen Wootton on his first night, and couldn't take more than 3 or 4 minutes, by which point I had to switch him off, to avoid smashing up my telly.

I plucked up courage to check out his show out last night, with it on mute most of time, whilst I listened to music, the hours seem to be split into 3 segments of around 20 minutes each, and it was:

Hour 1
Segment 1 - taking the knee/BLM - 20 fucking minutes!
Segment 2 - Royal family are brilliant, but Harry & Megan are evil.
Segment 3 - Compulsory covid vaccination of care home workers - I briefly turned it up for this, thinking it could be interesting, but he was banging on about how all the other media was ignoring the Commons vote, which is a blatant lie, as I saw it covered on Sky News, googled it, and posted the BBC link to their report on here, google returned several links to other sources too, I had to kill the sound again.

Just after the top of the hour, I briefly turned it up again, before switching it off completely, to find him banging on about taking the knee/BLM again! :facepalm:

The conclusion of my research:

1 - FFS, surely even the most hardcore anti-woke/anti-taking the knee nutjobs will get bored of this?

2 - If not, they may as well give up on new live shows, and just keep repeating the first four weeks on a continuous loop forever, because the few left watching would be too fucking thick to notice.
 
GBNews has ignored one of the golden rules of the Internet. You can't force a meme. It's fine living under the assumption that Twitter is real life, and that everyone is as riled up about the world as you are, but you can't just take the typed outrage of the Internet and put it on screen.

Memes are created and shared organically, there's no one formula or rule. GBN thought they had worked it out. But if the content is just dreary and repetitive, it's not going to be inspire an audience to interact.
 
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