Feminism - where are the threads?
- Thread starter JudithB
- Start date
colacubes
Mr Hot Cookie
Mate. Step away. You’re embarrassing yourself.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
And maybe that’s why we can’t get any further with this problem: because it’s not just threads on here, is it, it’s the way it goes everywhere.
weltweit
Well-Known Member
Just stick to your guns and don't engage, most people get bored if they are not responded to.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
I don't mind being called a cunt. I like cunts - cunts are lovely, warm, welcoming and creative. No insult taken.
I had no idea men on here were so delicate. I thought genitalia based insults /language have proved to the norm on all urban threads. If you're not called a cunt here at sometime, it is unusual.
I had no idea men on here were so delicate. I thought genitalia based insults /language have proved to the norm on all urban threads. If you're not called a cunt here at sometime, it is unusual.
no sense of humour... I'd be rich if I had a pound for everytime that was said about feminists.Surely all these het-up or po-faced fellas can tell all the beard/penis stuff is just harmless banter
scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
Yeah, TBH I don't have anything against genital-based insults - man, that sounds so formal
Cunt may the "strongest" word but dickhead, prick etc are used really frequently, and they're all used for men and women IME. Don't know why Topcat seems to have assumed that everyone on here dislikes those swearwords. I mean, like you say, this is urban, it's fucking weird not to swear here.
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
I met some inspiring young women tonight who neatly link the 'othering' of migrants / queer oppression/ womens oppression/ capitalism/ XR / saving the environment as all fighting the system that oppresses us all. I'm going to try and hang out with them more - they were full of hope that the system could and will change (no I don't know how yet)
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
Fuck yes! it was late I'd had a few drinks I was feeling in a whimsical mood, but eh fuck it I still think some of those beard fashions look very silly.I mean, like you say, this is urban, it's fucking weird not to swear here.
I had no idea in expressing such a notion would be taken as dissing the whole male gender. Please remember that not all people with beards have penises.
Prick is a very mild insult imo. I say sod and bugger a lot and mean no insult to people with or without penises who like those sexual practices. I don't use cunt as an insult - because I love cunts. Of course it is the queer tradition to take insults and use them as a badge of honour. Queer, faggot, yes I am a fucking ugly old dyke! and proud of it. I've been a lesbian too long to worry about upseting cis het men - they have never worried about upsetting me. Do I want them Cis het men as my allies - (some of my best friends are, etc) but it depends on whether they whine all the time...
Is swearing a feminist issue? Making women responsible for taking care of everyone's feelings and emotional wellfare certainly is.
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scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
+1
Swear words aren't chosen logically, on the basis of disliking or disparaging the item that is the other meaning of the word (bastard might be an exception). I mean, fucking is one of my favourite swear words and also one of my favourite activities
Doesn't stop me using fuck in a negative way.
mango5
Endeavour era
I almost never swear on here. I had to gird myself to join the 'fuck off Gromit' crowd upthread when no other phrase seemed right. I haven't joined in the penis/beard lolz either cos it doesn't amuse me although I do find the responses a useful example of social double standards.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
It’s just a poster going off on one. We all call each other far worse all the time on here and TC is a long-tenured poster.
On another thread a while back I called a long-standing male poster a cunt (in one of those knockabout threads wear it happens) and got a right pearl-clutching response about my misogynistic ways.
I think it might actually have been friendofdorothy that talked him down.
tl;dr version: it’s fine, it’s just TC having a a wobble and we all have them sometimes
On another thread a while back I called a long-standing male poster a cunt (in one of those knockabout threads wear it happens) and got a right pearl-clutching response about my misogynistic ways.
I think it might actually have been friendofdorothy that talked him down.
tl;dr version: it’s fine, it’s just TC having a a wobble and we all have them sometimes
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mango5
Endeavour era
Did you miss the bit about female posters being accused of misandry on a thread about feminism? Are we not supposed to react to that? To connect individual examples to the big picture?
I am sick and tired of the kind of "leave it, he's not worth it" advice which allows such nastiness to be normalised. This set of exchanges offers a good answer to the thread title; if/where they exist, the feminist discussions have been encouraged to fade away. I am not at all sorry to contribute to the discomfort by taking my turn at not letting things lie.
I am sick and tired of the kind of "leave it, he's not worth it" advice which allows such nastiness to be normalised. This set of exchanges offers a good answer to the thread title; if/where they exist, the feminist discussions have been encouraged to fade away. I am not at all sorry to contribute to the discomfort by taking my turn at not letting things lie.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
It’s hard to tell where the edge of whimsy is with these threads. I ran with it, then second-guessed myself.
Where was the pic from, btw?
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
Which pic? The beards? I just googled for “goatee beard”.
Doing it again, I find that it comes from here.
https://beardoholic.com/goatee-styles/
Actually looks like a pretty good guide for anyone wanting to grow a goatee.
8ball
Decolonise colons!
My apols - I mixed up your initial pic with friendofdorothy ’s response.
“Rap Industry Standard” made me lol. If I went to barbers I’d be tempted to ask for one to see if they knew what the hell I was talking about.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
According to google image it is actually a thing! Although, my previous search probably locked in some kind of algorithm.
editor
hiraethified
I've banned him off this thread for a week.
friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
Yes agree.
Was it weepiper who wrote the list of typical male responses on threads like this (who ever it was can you repost it - it was spot on - please?) - because I think we've had every single whatabouty/ insult / derail that you listed. This why we don't have many feminist threads. Cis het men keep trying to close them down. What are they so scared of? Macho nastiness is the fucking norm on the internet. I don't like it and I'm fed up of it.
Misandry because of a minor insult? don't make me laugh. As women we are never allowed a joke at the expense of men? I was brought up in the tradition of jokes about silly female drivers /ditzy girls / mother in laws, etc - women were both oppressed, stereotyped and laughed at. Women were the joke. So am I not allowed the occasional drunken joke about a beard? Fuck that! I'll laugh at your little beard all I want. Does that oppress men - does that stop men getting a job, does that get them wrong treatment in hospital. No it fucking doesn't. (if I'm wrong and it does - please go start your own fucking thread)
Femininism in my experience as someone said is anything that 'distinguishes a woman from a doormat' its not one unified doctrine, it has no leader, no offical spokesperson. It does not preclude the left, the poor or trans or anyone. 51% of the world population have been or are oppressed /discrimated against due to our biology and I would like to talk about that. We are nowhere near being post feminist yet.
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friendofdorothy
Solidarity against neoliberalism!
I think someone should start a thread about taking the emotional load / care giving / smoothing masculine egos etc
trashpony
Hag
In answer to your original question JudithB, this is why we don’t have threads on feminism. Because a lot of men on urban have so little respect for women that they tell us we’re doing it wrong, get angry and tell us to shut up.
I’d rather talk about feminism in places where men aren’t policing our speech tbh
Love from your friendly neighbourhood misandrist
I’d rather talk about feminism in places where men aren’t policing our speech tbh
Love from your friendly neighbourhood misandrist
weepiper
I fix the machines that fight climate change
Don't forget 'talk over our heads like we're not even here'.
Treacle Toes
Time
So Topcat has been banned from this thread for a week but can still read it and is making sure you all know he is by liking posts? 
editor Lazy Llama is there a reason why posters banned from a thread can still read and 'contribute' by liking posts? Surely that in some way defeats the purpose of a thread ban? People can still intimidate and harrass.
editor Lazy Llama is there a reason why posters banned from a thread can still read and 'contribute' by liking posts? Surely that in some way defeats the purpose of a thread ban? People can still intimidate and harrass.
SheilaNaGig
Break requested
I’ve been thinking about this a bit.
It’s an example of one of the ways in which women are co-opted and coerced into supporting the old systems and channels.
Conversation, everyone is getting along, there’s some low level flirting and joshing...
A woman says something a bit outre, perhaps some overly colourful language or an out and out piss take of one of the blokes (depending on the company, choose the point on the spectrum accordingly)
There a slight pause for the reaction, drawing in of breath, muttered “ooh!”s or slap down response banter. The men in particular will step in to indicate the parameters and boundaries that have been breached.
But here’s the thing: some of the women will take their cue from the male response, will learn from this, it will add it to the sum of their knowledge and understanding about what is and is not acceptable for the men.
For some women, it will be about battle lines and frontiers, where to tackle the deeper issue, for others it will be about what they need to stay away from, be quiet about. But some of those women will actually stand with the men. They don’t want to be scolded, teased, have the piss taken out of them, or be considered The Enemy by men, so instead they agree with the men, support them, side with them for the sake of safety.
Even now, I encounter women even quite young women who seem to be very supportive of the patriarchy and men’s behaviour at the expense of their own. And they seem to feel as righteous as the men do about this stuff. They seem to feel that because they understand and support men, they’re somehow more than “just” a woman.
I encounter this kind of insidious female support for the patriarchy more frequently than I’d like to. It was pretty common when I was younger (I was guilty of it myself to some extent, which is why I recognise it) but I’d have hoped it was less common now than it is.
So a man crying “sexism” on a feminist thread looks to me a lot like a man falling into a default setting of trying to identify and locate and support the women who might support the patriarchy. I suspect that men don’t even realise they’re doing it.
Qualifier not all men not all women etc.
Treacle Toes
Time
...It's like...'I'm still reading...just you wait till my ban is up, I'll be back'
8ball
Decolonise colons!
So banning isn’t enough when somone says something you don’t agree with which no one else agreed with it either and thought it was silly?
Lazy Llama
Suburban robots that monitor reality
That’s the way the thread-ban works in the software. It just blocks posting.
This is a public forum so they could read it without even being registered.
Treacle Toes
Time
Given you don't know the answer to the actual question I have asked I don't know why you bothered to post that.
Treacle Toes
Time
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