Urban75 Home About Offline BrixtonBuzz Contact

Drawing up a will, anything to bear in mind?

Cloo

Cloo

Banana for scale
Gsv and I are shamefully lately finally getting a will drawn up next week. Solicitor has asked us to consider executors, guardians of kids if we both get squashed by a falling satellite etc, burial requests and specific gifts. Anyone else come across anything they think worth considering?

I think the only 'gift' worth mentioning is my engagement ring (to oldest I guess) which is an heirloom and although no one involved would do anything twattish, I think should be specified as it's worth fairly absurd money. Gsv wondered if something of similar value should be promised to our son but AFAIC its monetary value is not the point of handing it on, though it is why it should be mentioned. Haven't got anything else remotely comparable in value.
 
Last edited:
Someone on here said that instead of saying X and Y are to take our kids in that several named people will confer to make the best decision for the children as the situation for your children and potential guardians will change over time.
 
Don’t forget to make allowances for the beneficiaries dying before you. Consider what would happen to the gifts that would otherwise be theirs.

For example, my f-i-l left everything to my wife, lock, stock, and leaking barrel. But in the event that she died before him, I got half the estate, with others sharing the rest when he did die. (This was quite a surprise because he and I didn’t get on too well much of the time, but it was wonderful to feel that I was remembered.)

And don’t forget to keep it up to date. People to whom I was leaving bequests in my will have now died so mine needs updating.
 
I'm guessing your solicitor would've mentioned, but when would your children receive their inheritance, at what age? For example, should it be held in trust till they're 18, or 21 or 25? Will they be able to use it to fund uni, if they go, or there's a risk they might blow it as soon as they get their hands on it?

Also, another tricky scenario is considering the possibility that one of you is run over by a bus and the other goes on to remarry, in which case, if you or gsv were to be bereaved and then remarry and then subsequently die before the new spouse, the new spouse will have inheritance rights and will likely inherit a substantial portion of the value of the family home as a surviving spouse.

So the children would potentially inherit less as the new spouse's inheritance would be part of the family home, iyswim?

If there's anyone who you definitely wouldn't want to receive anything, then it helps to specify that, or sometimes give someone a small token amount or item, so they can't challenge a will on the basis that they've been forgotten about.

An ex of mine, his sister inherited an enormous diamond ring from a grandmother, but it was balanced out by him inheriting a diamond tennis bracelet, which he sold to fund law school.

I guess in one sense, the value of the ring was irrelevant, even though it was probably about £10k in the late 1990s, because while he sold the bracelet, she wasn't going to sell granny's engagement ring. So while they both received an item of jewellery that was similar in value, he benefitted more, from the £10k he sold it for, while she had something lovely to look at and wear, but from which she didn't have any real, tangible financial benefit.

So while you could try to balance things out, any sense of unfairness can be countered by pointing out that although Child A gets a ring with large monetary value, so could be perceived to be better off than Child B, it's effectively worth £0 in real cash terms to Child A if they're not going to realise that asset, not going to sell it and cash in, it's monetary value is theoretical. (In fact, it might actually cost them money in terms of keeping it insured or in a bank safety deposit box.)
 
dessiato said:
Don’t forget to make allowances for the beneficiaries dying before you. Consider what would happen to the gifts that would otherwise be theirs.
Click to expand...
Yeah, solicitor asked that. I assume beneficiaries in that case would be our nieces and nephews, but it could be and/or our siblings (who would probably give the money to their kids anyway)

The kids aren't that long on needing guardians, they did suggest we have back up. Since my sister moved out of town that's cleared up that my brother in law and wife are obvious choice guardians of our kids in first instance as they live locally so that would minimise life disruption. Second then might be my brother although they don't have as much living space. Or there might be an argument to say my sister bc the only way my BIL couldn't do it might be because London blew up or something but our kids survived and my sister at least lives in a village in Berkshire that probably won't get blown up.
 
I’ve been helping my mum do hers for the last nine months!!!

No particular advice in addition to the stuff above
 
I'm also wondering if we should specify something about artwork in the house if we were to both die, like it should be stored until kids are older. There's no one valuable thing, but most stuff (inherited mostly) is worth a few hundred each, so it's worth a few grand altogether.
 
Cloo said:
I'm also wondering if we should specify something about artwork in the house if we were to both die, like it should be stored until kids are older. There's no one valuable thing, but most stuff (inherited mostly) is worth a few hundred each, so it's worth a few grand altogether.
Click to expand...
That depends on how bothered you are by it really. If we are "lucky" much of our stuff will end up in a charity shop, if not so lucky, the bin.
 
I am in terms of it's not just Athena posters or something and it includes stuff like a bronze bust of my sister and I as kids and two artworks with my mum in them (she was an artist's model as a student). If I'd been orphaned I'd certainly have wanted to keep some of the artworks from my parents' house.
 
Don't forget to allow any guardians some access to funds for the kids or access to the home etc if needed. I'm down as guardian for my much younger sisters but when the second was born dad and his wife realised that I'd probably need to a new house if for work reasons I couldn't move into theirs.
 
BIL could accommodate the kids in their own house just about; ours is slightly bigger, but then selling it would help a lot with guardian costs. But should maybe ask him what his preferred solution would be - if they sold their place, moved into ours and extended into the loft, there'd be enough room for them and both sets of kids. Or presumably we could set up in the will to do one or the other as preferred by Guardians.
 
It's not just the house though it's all the extra costs they may encounter, 2 more children on holiday additional childcare costs (although your kids might be old enough that this isn't an issue) now they may be in a financial situation to support that now but that might not always be true
 
I'm writing mine at the moment, mainly cos me and the fella are never gonna get married, so I want him to benefit if I go first, and a will seems easiest. I've almost finished it, only have some savings and the house really, and my daughter will be a beneficiary as well, obv. You don't realise how many What Ifs until you start writing it though!

I'm with Unite the Union, and they do a free will service, so once I've finished it, I'll go through them to finalise it all.
 
Cloo said:
BIL could accommodate the kids in their own house just about; ours is slightly bigger, but then selling it would help a lot with guardian costs. But should maybe ask him what his preferred solution would be - if they sold their place, moved into ours and extended into the loft, there'd be enough room for them and both sets of kids. Or presumably we could set up in the will to do one or the other as preferred by Guardians.
Click to expand...
Probably better not being so prescriptive -- as kalmatthew says, you've no idea how their circumstances may change. Might be better to have some kind of provision where the guardians can access money for the benefit of the children but it needs to be signed off by a couple of other people just to make sure it's legit. Sure the solicitor will be able to advise on the different options.
 
I think I'd likely assign money from house sale, yeah. Now we were thinking of BIL as an executor, though some people do advise separating that from guardians for conflict of interest reasons. That said I would trust BIL 100% as he and his wife are a) very unmaterialistic and b) have a lot of integrity. Bit I can see solicitor advising splitting it anyway.

We both have two siblings but gsv said he doesn't think his sister would be a good choice for executor. I'd be happy for either of mine to do it.

One solution could be my siblings are executors in event of us both dying after kids come of age, after that we change it to one sibling each when our youngest turns 18.
 
So, we spoke to BIL... as I suspected (being the high intergrity people they are) they're signed up to be guardians a few people including for SIL's nieces so a bit of an open and shut case. But the more I think about it, the more sensible it seems to be to have it subject to discussion - presumably by all our siblings. Kids are now 11 and 14, so it's very different from asking someone to potentially take on, say, a 2 and 5 years old. For that you probably need to confirm someone specific to do it and be prepared to commit to it. However, the kids are already old enough to express opinions, plus living arrangements and guardianship commitments are also changeable - for example, SIL's nieces are older, so will be not in need of guardianship in 2-3 years, or my brother's kids could have moved out, or Robin could be at uni and Ziggy might rather have a fresh start and prefer to move in with my sister out of town (and his first cousin who is the same ages as him) and so forth. gsv's sis doesn't have kids and isn't at this rate likely to, so one solution could even be her moving to ours as a guardian of our kids - so I think it's best to leave it to discussion to fit to circumstances given the possible connotations.
 
Er & me were just talking about this the other day. No, we haven't made wills.

There won't be a lot to leave, but I've got a 'philatelic executor' for my stamps. He will sell for the best money. He's already been paid.
 
I’ll send you my full name and bank details….


On a serious note, if you are having multiple executors make sure they are happy to work with each other.
 
It'll basically be one of each of our siblings, probably both of our brothers, who do get on.

Talked to my dad today about wills and his philosophy is to keep it as non prescriptive as possible (ie, when it comes to 'stuff', we'll work out our between us), which I think is very doable in our family fortunately.
 
Cloo said:
It'll basically be one of each of our siblings, probably both of our brothers, who do get on.

Talked to my dad today about wills and his philosophy is to keep it as non prescriptive as possible (ie, when it comes to 'stuff', we'll work out our between us), which I think is very doable in our family fortunately.
Click to expand...
I've seen some arguments in my time over wills. I was promised this, you are not getting that etc.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hollis
  • Poll
What is your home TV set up?
6 7 8 9 10
Replies
291
Views
5K
Puddy_Tat
Puddy_Tat
friedaweed
Annual will I die supper thread.
2
Replies
38
Views
2K
Elpenor
Elpenor
A
Make-up for 50+ women?
Replies
6
Views
382
Skim
Skim
Cid
  • Poll
Washing up bowls
2
Replies
46
Views
1K
seeformiles
seeformiles
T & P
What’s your kitchen drawer’s fork-knife-spoon-small spoon ratio?
2 3 4
Replies
99
Views
2K
newme
newme
Back
Top Bottom