Britain’s best and worst seaside towns

[Sprocket.]

My mum loved Bridlington. She used to say ‘can you smell that ozone? best smell in the world’
We used to tell her it was only the sea and chip shops, but she was adamant it was ozone. Bless her.

 

[brogdale]

A day trip to Calais is traditionally for booze and fags, not for sightseeing. Maybe if you're a big fan of nazi bunkers you could have a fun day out but other than that.

Exactly, but Dover's misfortune was that there was a major 'sightseeing' opportunity just up the road.

 

[ska invita]

Yeah I've been a few times cos it's easy to get to on the train from london
Nice enough little town with some of the seaside malaise that all seaside have
Dunes or beach walk to climping (good seaside caff) good for swimming and wild camping

Exactly what I was thinking! Hoping to go next weekend

Folkstone for some reason doesn't fill me with dread, but probably because I haven't spent enough time there. It's a beautiful spot on lots of levels... The sandy beach, the pier, the harbour, the cliffs, down cliffs, the gardens heading west, no amusements, the old town bit, but the ukippery is strong I gather

 

[ska invita]

A day trip to Calais is traditionally for booze and fags, not for sightseeing. Maybe if you're a big fan of nazi bunkers you could have a fun day out but other than that.

I got to like Calais

 

[cupid_stunt]

I worked with a lad from Withernsea, he said the most exciting thing that happened in Withernsea was one winter when his dad retrieved a 45 gallon drum of creosote that had been washed up onto the beach.
Him and his dad spent several weekends creosoting all their neighbours and friends fencing and sheds for £30 a time. He said it was the best Christmas ever! The excitement is unimaginable.

We had similiar excitement when free firework was washed up on the beach a few years ago.



ETA - Worthing actually fenced off & closed the beach after a few days, because of the numbers turning up to grab some, so we moved on a couple of miles west & collected more from the beach in Ferring village, my brother had a garage full of the stuff.

 

[danski]

One of the highlights of any trip to the seaside for me is spotting the strange combinations of “celebs” painted on fairground rides. I once rode on a Waltzer with Mel B and Patrick Stewart (as Picard) on the side - both portraits nearly recognisable but just a wee bit off

I have a photo of a Nicolas Cage ghost train somewhere!

 

[AmateurAgitator]

Stonking castle.

The castle is over-priced. It is atleast away from the town though, where the Orc-like locals dwell.

 

[brogdale]

The castle is over-priced. It is atleast away from the town though, where the Orc-like locals dwell.

Ah, yes...well I suppose I haven't been since my youngest was a nipper (many years ago) so wasn't up to speed with the pricing. From memory, once in the castle, there was plenty to see/explore, especially the tunnels complex etc.

As for the locals, maybe you've got more (recent) experience than I have, but along with many urban areas in East Kent the levels of deprivation are high as defined by national criteria. Also, along with much of Kent, the area is blighted by a 'selective' education system that offers social & (crucially) geographic mobility to 20-25% of the young people whilst placing the vast majority into what are effectively secondary modern schools. This ensures that many East Kent towns experience continual exodus of a significant cohort of youngsters enabled to gain qualifications.

I mean, I'm not sticking up for a population that elected Charlie Elphicke or his wife, but the town has and always had issues.

 

[platinumsage]

The fabled white cliffs of Dover are also the worst white cliffs on the coast of England. Ringstead to Poole, IoW, Seven Sisters, Flamborough are all superior.

 

[Pickman's model]

The fabled white cliffs of Dover are also the worst white cliffs on the coast of England. Ringstead to Poole, IoW, Seven Sisters, Flamborough are all superior.

And the bloody bluebirds shit on people's heads

 

[Pickman's model]

The castle is over-priced. It is atleast away from the town though, where the Orc-like locals dwell.

Bit shitty to suggest they're like imaginary creatures

When the links between Dover and Innsmouth well known

 

[LDC]

My mum loved Bridlington. She used to say ‘can you smell that ozone? best smell in the world’
We used to tell her it was only the sea and chip shops, but she was adamant it was ozone. Bless her.

Julie Burchill said when you got off the train in Brighton you could smell the cum in the air.

 

[seeformiles]

God Tracks was grim I was dragged to it a few times, most memorably when The Hit man and her' was being recorded. I was always more of a Kelly's girl though, especially the downstairs bit, although obviously once I was old enough to get in legally I was far too old for it! And don't you mean, when the Northern Counties was burned down in an insurance job?

Yep - insurance job for sure! Lovely place though. We used to play in the big mirrored ballroom for the after hours lot - shame it got torched by the hoods. As for Tracks - 80s tackiness personified and full of Culchie boys comparing women to livestock

 

[Steel Icarus]

I can certainly detect a definite "Ugh, those people who live in or visit seaside towns" undercurrent in the thread. Smells worse than candy floss

 

[brogdale]

And the bloody bluebirds shit on people's heads

Gulls, yes; 'bluebirds', no.
Largely because, apparently unbeknownst to the US librettist of the song made famous by Vera Lynn, the warbler species commonly known as Bluebirds in the states is not indigenous to the UK.

 

[brogdale]

Julie Burchill said when you got off the train in Brighton you could smell the cum in the air.

Like someone with a 30 year toot habit would be able to detect anything.

 

[Pickman's model]

Gulls, yes; 'bluebirds', no.
Largely because, apparently unbeknownst to the US librettist of the song made famous by Vera Lynn, the warbler species commonly known as Bluebirds in the states is not indigenous to the UK.

It was a joke

 

[Sprocket.]

On the way back after visiting Spurn head we saw a sign for a cafe on a caravan site at Easington. We called for refreshments, a tea in a polystyrene cup, a coke and THE kitkat. It is the most depressing looking place I’ve ever visited. Although the only noticeable attraction there is the installation where the natural gas pipeline comes ashore.

 

[Pickman's model]

Julie Burchill said when you got off the train in Brighton you could smell the cum in the air.

Depends what you'd done on the journey I suppose

 

[Pickman's model]

Had some cracking fish and chips in dungeness. And rye. And Cleethorpes. And Grimsby. And ok ones in Leigh-on-Sea.

 

[brogdale]

It was a joke

I know
Just enjoying a little post-breakfast pedantry

 

[Pickman's model]

I know
Just enjoying a little post-breakfast pedantry

I've noticed your pbp has started to drift into pre-elevenses pedantry

 

[brogdale]

Had some cracking fish and chips in dungeness. And rye. And Cleethorpes. And Grimsby. And ok ones in Leigh-on-Sea.

Colleague of mine ('big-boned' chap) once eulogised about the F&C he'd had down at Dungeness and when I asked him what was particularly good about it, he first alighted on the portion size, describing the platter on which it was served as "...a big as a television"

 

[brogdale]

I've noticed your pbp has started to drift into pre-elevenses pedantry

No point in rushing at matters in these times in which we live in...

 

[Pickman's model]

No point in rushing at matters in these times in which we live in...

So it's really pandemic pedantry

 

[JimW]

I think Tenby is the platonic ideal of what a seaside holiday town should be like. Glorious sandy beaches, a colossally beautiful town setting, proper chippies and ice cream, and although expensive locally, hopefully, tucked far enough away in West Wales to ever succumb to too much gentrification.

I'm pretty fond of Barry Island, the beach is lovely, although way too busy during the current pandemic to go anywhere near. I always feel quite depressed by Porthcawl. It's too ugly without the faded ugly grandeur of a proper crap seaside town.

I know we went to Tenby when we were little but I was too young to remember. Mum assures me it was great and we loved it

 

[kebabking]

I know we went to Tenby when we were little but I was too young to remember. Mum assures me it was great and we loved it

Fantastic place for a family holiday. Really nice town, excellent beaches, nice little harbour and lots of stuff to do locally like castles and neolithic burial mounds.

 

[Pickman's model]

Bangor's grand and is one of the only towns mentioned on this thread to have a song about it. Or about a day trip there anyway.

 

[brogdale]

Fantastic place for a family holiday. Really nice town, excellent beaches, nice little harbour and lots of stuff to do locally like castles and neolithic burial mounds.

Oh, I'm a complete sucker for a neolithic barrow; next time I visit I'll take a good OS map to hunt them out. Last year at Carnac (surprisingly nice little seaside town with stunning sandy beaches) I worked myself into a near hysterical frenzy trying to see everything in my little guidebook!

 

[brogdale]

Makes me wonder...have we ever had a show us your standing stone* thread?

* no sniggering at the back!