I am highly critical of Israel, but I agree such language about Israel needing to go is unhelpful.
Even if you mean something more like transforming Israel into something different, a feeling of being besieged is definitely part of why Israel acts how it does.
If people mean an end to apartheid and a one state solution, or a two state solution, then they should say so instead of using language that makes Israelis think they will be driven violently out of the land.
Israel is a live settler colonial project in Gaza and West Bank. The rest of the place is already settled, we might not like how it was done but we can't and shouldn't really change it now anymore than we can undo what happened to the Australian aborigines.
At the risk of sounding like a woolly hippy, reconciliation is the only desirable way forward. The cards are all in Israeli hands, that's true, but the only hope for them doing anything is for them to be persuaded that reconciliation is possible, and giving them the impression that sympathy for Palestine is cloaking a desire to destroy Israel driven by anti-semitism makes that much harder.