Alex Jones - Two Stops Past Barking?

[krtek a houby]

CNN business reporter Hadas Gold:

The ultimate own

 

[krtek a houby]

Haha this does seem to be true: The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’.



(It was already very stupid tbf)

At last some joyous news

 

[Yossarian]

Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.

Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of...

theonion.com

 

[pesh]

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of...

theonion.com

Omnivitamin

 

[Yossarian]

 

[two sheds]

Founded in 1999 on the heels of the Satanic “panic” and growing steadily ever since, InfoWars has distinguished itself as an invaluable tool for brainwashing and controlling the masses. With a shrewd mix of delusional paranoia and dubious anti-aging nutrition hacks, they strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal. They are a true unicorn, capable of simultaneously inspiring public support for billionaires and stoking outrage at an inept federal state that can assassinate JFK but can’t even put a man on the Moon.

Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.

No price would be too high for such a cornucopia of malleable assets and minds. And yet, in a stroke of good fortune, a formidable special interest group has outwitted the hapless owner of InfoWars (a forgettable man with an already-forgotten name) and forced him to sell it at a steep bargain: less than one trillion dollars.

Make no mistake: This is a coup for our company and a well-deserved victory for multinational elites the world over.

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’

Today we celebrate a new addition to the Global Tetrahedron LLC family of brands. And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of...

theonion.com

I thought the onion only printed spoof articles?

 

[SpineyNorman]

Knowledge fight podcasts next episode will be worth a listen I reckon

 

[two sheds]

Knowledge fight podcasts next episode will be worth a listen I reckon

Link when one comes out?

 

[DaveCinzano]

The gift that keeps on giving

 

[moochedit]

Has he got a cabinet position yet? Only a matter of time surely?

 

[HeAthen]

Has he got a cabinet position yet? Only a matter of time surely?

He should definitely be locked in one, preferably just before it gets thrown overboard in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

 

[elbows]

Theres some scrote on there at the moment that Ive never seen before, wanking on about how unfairly theyve been treated, how its cruel and unusual punishment, and then starting some shite comparison with Salacious B. Crumb from Star Wars that I didnt hang around to listen to. His cohost was crying about 'satire stacked on top of satire' and how it feels like biting into an onion right now.

I only stumbled on that live shit because I wanted to see if their regular crap was off-air yet. Not sure exactly when that will happen, and in any case I dont think the satirical relaunch is scheduled till January.

 

[NoXion]

The gift that keeps on giving

What the fuck is that Bannon creature doing outside of a prison cell?

 

[elbows]

This was the rancid scrote in question, because by the time I stumbled upon the live feed via this bollox tweet from Jones, I had missed that 'main event'.

Cant even trust these fuckers to accurately use the phrase 'Shut InfoWars Down Now'.

 

[elbows]

What the fuck is that Bannon creature doing outside of a prison cell?

They let him out a few weeks ago but he was back in court on another charge a few days ago, as per: https://www.reuters.com/legal/fresh...ump-adviser-bannon-due-back-court-2024-11-12/

 

[Yossarian]

The gift that keeps on giving

That T-shirt is probably Onion property now but I think they'll probably let him leave the studio with it

 

[two sheds]

The gift that keeps on giving

The sadness in its eyes

 

[cupid_stunt]

This news has made my day.

 

[Lord Camomile]

Knowledge fight podcasts next episode will be worth a listen I reckon

 

[danny la rouge]

I’ve no idea what that means.

 

[NoXion]

I’ve no idea what that means.

"Knowledge Fight" is a podcast that covers Alex Jones and InfoWars. I assume the picture is talking about giving the desk Alex Jones used in the studio as some kind of trophy or something.

 

[DaveCinzano]

I’ve no idea what that means.

The CEO of The Onion is being asked if they will give anti-Alex Jones podcasters Knowledge Fight the office furniture Alex Jones used on his InfoWars broadcasts; he intimates yes

 

[DaveCinzano]

Snappetysnap

 

[NoXion]

Snappetysnap

I do think you put it more elegantly than I did.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Suffice it to say, Stanley Kubrick's musical scion is melting down over this, as is her wont

 

[krtek a houby]

The gift that keeps on giving

"Watch Live: The Most Censored News Broadcast in the World "

The Onion must have got there early.

 

[DaveCinzano]

"Watch Live: The Most Censored News Broadcast in the World "

The Onion must have got there early.

Try before you buy

 

[Lord Camomile]

I once had "the most censored meal in the world" when it turned out I had ordered far more than I could pay for.

 

[pbsmooth]

damn I fucking love The Onion.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

damn I fucking love The Onion.

It may a very difficult week a bit better to hear this news. The only thing that would make it better is if Alex Jones went out and put a bullet in his brain. *


* yep. I'm definitely not as good a person as I was a decade ago.