A song of ice and fire (AKA the spoiler thread)
- Thread starter Shippou-Sensei
- Start date
Shippou-Sensei
4:1:2.5
TV series season 2 was kinda good
they might even be able to make the story drag less.
they might even be able to make the story drag less.
The Octagon
Stop...Hammertime
Raced through ASOS and over halfway through A Feast For Crows now (so not spying the rest of the thread), but just wanted to say I cannot wait to see how non-readers react to the events in Seasons 3 and 4, I was reading some chapters with my mouth hanging open.
So basically anytime there's a wedding in Westeros, get the fuck away from it
Looking forward to seeing how they do Dorne too.
So basically anytime there's a wedding in Westeros, get the fuck away from it
Looking forward to seeing how they do Dorne too.
bouncer_the_dog
Well-Known Member
Can we spoil up to the end of the books? I need to talk about 'smoking wounds'
Stigmata
sexual tyrannosaurus
And bleeding stars, and salt?
Orang Utan
Psychick Worrier Ov Geyoor
That's the idea of the thread!
Shippou-Sensei
4:1:2.5
yeah in here we assume every one has read up to the latest book
i assume there will be a period of grace for a month or so after the release of the next one....... in about 10 years
so yes jon got shanked ceaser style.
possibly as part of a prophecy
i assume there will be a period of grace for a month or so after the release of the next one....... in about 10 years
so yes jon got shanked ceaser style.
possibly as part of a prophecy
The Octagon
Stop...Hammertime
Just finished the last book, raced through them during a couple of long train journeys. Must have looked a bit odd to the other passengers when my mouth kept opening in shock
Proper moment of "Rah" when Jon read Ramsey's letter and immediately decided to go fuck him up, shortly followed by "what?! WHAT?! what the fuck?". Definitely can't see him staying dead, there's a Red God resurrection coming I think. Not so sure about Stannis, Ramsey claimed he was dead, a trick hopefully (maybe Manderley's men will report him dead and bring his sword to Bolton, drawing the forces within Winterfell out to be surrounded by Stannis' men).
Still not sure what I want to happen to Theon, despite everything I still want him to survive (and it sounds like Asha had plans to challenge the kingsmoot because of his absence).
Do we think Aegon / Griff is actually Rhaegar's son? Loved Tyrion convincing him to attack Westeros to prove himself worthy to Dany, would she support his claim or want the Iron Throne herself?
Wonder if Lena Heady has read ahead for Cersei's later scenes
I'd almost forgotten about Varys until that last chapter, very interesting.
More than anything while I was reading, I was thinking "How the fuck will they film some of this?".
When is Winds Of Winter meant to come out?
Proper moment of "Rah" when Jon read Ramsey's letter and immediately decided to go fuck him up, shortly followed by "what?! WHAT?! what the fuck?". Definitely can't see him staying dead, there's a Red God resurrection coming I think. Not so sure about Stannis, Ramsey claimed he was dead, a trick hopefully (maybe Manderley's men will report him dead and bring his sword to Bolton, drawing the forces within Winterfell out to be surrounded by Stannis' men).
Still not sure what I want to happen to Theon, despite everything I still want him to survive (and it sounds like Asha had plans to challenge the kingsmoot because of his absence).
Do we think Aegon / Griff is actually Rhaegar's son? Loved Tyrion convincing him to attack Westeros to prove himself worthy to Dany, would she support his claim or want the Iron Throne herself?
Wonder if Lena Heady has read ahead for Cersei's later scenes
I'd almost forgotten about Varys until that last chapter, very interesting.
More than anything while I was reading, I was thinking "How the fuck will they film some of this?".
When is Winds Of Winter meant to come out?
PursuedByBears
Go stick your head in a pig
I think there's going to be some warging-type transference into Ghost.
Stigmata
sexual tyrannosaurus
Fuck John Snow, it's all about Ser Barristan's battle
Pit fighter vs pensioner? It can only go one way
Pit fighter vs pensioner? It can only go one way
It's about a year, maybe more since I read the last of the series but I put it down with a smile, Barristan suddenly comes into his own. No longer a gentle wise old knight but one tough fucking ol' boy who loves the art of battle. That's what it is to Barristan, an art
HUGE SPOLIERS | HUGE SPOLIERS
Riding out from a besieged city into a vast army with him at the helm... just lots of FUCK YEAH!!!!
Now we just have to wait half a decade to find out what happens and hope Martin doesn't die from fat-bastarditis inbetween
Stigmata
sexual tyrannosaurus
I'll eat my halfhelm if he's legit. Daenerys had a vision in the warlock's house that suggested he would be a dud.
They're pretty much shafted. Something like 12 storylines on the go at the moment, each in a different location with a different set of characters. And until we know how it pans out it's impossible to say which stories can be safely dropped.
The Octagon
Stop...Hammertime
Found a couple of preview chapters that Martin has apparently been reading at events
I really wish I hadn't raced through the books now, I've got to suffer the waiting that everyone else has put up with
Victarion about to smash the fuck out of the Yunkai / Volantene fleets just as Barristan the Bold leads his army to attack from the other side, with Tyrion sat in the middle trying to convince the Second Sons to swap sides AGAIN
I really wish I hadn't raced through the books now, I've got to suffer the waiting that everyone else has put up with
I have a feeling that was pinched from the First World War, in which the Germans nick named the British Maxim Machine Gun the "Devil's Paintbrush".
SpookyFrank
A cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel
I can think of two or three of the storylines from 'Feast' in particular which could either be dropped entirely or merely touched on without doing much damage to the plot.
The thing that annoyed me the most about the last two books is that there are so many things going on that keep threatening to come to some sort of resolution but never do. A big part of the reason the earlier books were so good was that the balance between resolution and suspense was handled really well, but now there are more loose ends than I can keep track of and there are cliffhangers left over from the end of book three which still haven't been addressed yet.
And Jon, Brienne and Stannis (and possibly someone else I've forgotten) have all been left hanging in a state of near or probable death. That would be sloppy writing on a TV show, but in books it's just absurd.
The Octagon
Stop...Hammertime
Just been reading a quality thread on the dedicated ASOIAF boards, basically stuff you might not have put together / noticed.
Link - http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/79116-wow-i-never-noticed-that/
My favourites (some quoted from that thread):
Shireen's fool Patchface singing prophecies left right and centre - "Fool's blood, king's blood, blood on the maiden's thigh, but chains for the guests and chains for the bridegroom, aye aye aye."
Quentyn Martell being the "sun that rises in the west and sets in the east" from Dany's prophecy (the Sun and Spear being the sigil of House Martell, and him dying trying to tame the Dragons)
*awaits slew of people saying "we knew all of those, duh"*
Link - http://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php/topic/79116-wow-i-never-noticed-that/
My favourites (some quoted from that thread):
Shireen's fool Patchface singing prophecies left right and centre - "Fool's blood, king's blood, blood on the maiden's thigh, but chains for the guests and chains for the bridegroom, aye aye aye."
Oberyn Martell poisons Tywin Lannister during a breakfast with Mace Tyrell, hence why he is on the toilet when Tyrion kills him, and why his body stinks so badly during the funeral.
Quentyn Martell being the "sun that rises in the west and sets in the east" from Dany's prophecy (the Sun and Spear being the sigil of House Martell, and him dying trying to tame the Dragons)
*awaits slew of people saying "we knew all of those, duh"*
The Octagon thread bookmarked for reading another day, good sutff 
DotCommunist
So many particulars. So many questions.
that thread is an object lesson in why I shouldn't read while half cut. Can't believe I missed the poison/tywin thing. Seems so obvious in now its been said
The Octagon
Stop...Hammertime
Stigmata said:
That was a good one, to borrow from another HBO show "all the pieces matter".
Stigmata
sexual tyrannosaurus
So the bearded one has been reading out preview chapters of the next book at events. Records are available here and there. I've pinched the (fairly detailed) account below from the official forum.
SER BARRISTAN I
The chapter begins with a gory description of the bodies of plague victims being thrown into the city by the trebuchets. Only the northern districts across the river are far enough away to avoid being hit.
Barristan rides into the large market by the western gate wearing his new Queensguard armor and riding the silver horse that Drogo gave to Dany. He feels that this is presumptuous, but thinks that even while the queen is missing it is important to have some symbol of her around to improve morale. Three of his lads ride with him: Tumco Lho, Larraq, and the Red Lamb.
In the marketplace (featuring landmarks like the statue of the chainmaker and the spire of skulls), at the “hour of the wolf,” the main forces that will participate in the attack gather. There are five thousand unsullied, the Storm Crows, a ragged band of about twenty dothraki and the pitfighters. The Shavepate’s beasts are manning the city walls in place of the unsullied. They will serve as the city’s last line of protection if Barristan’s attack fails and Dany has not returned.
The attack will leave from three gates (north, south, and west), but Barristan will lead the charge against the main Yunkai’i forces directly to the west. Barristan thinks that the attack is against all of his instincts, as the basic numbers are against them and success hinges on trusting sellswords -- in particular, trusting the in the Tattered Prince’s greed.
He meets with his commanders (including the Widower, Jokin, Grey Worm, and some of the pitfighters). Their plan is to lead with the horse and flank the defending legions, taking out the trebuchets and burning the pavilions. The pitfighters will advance after the horse and focus on intimidation and slaughter. Finally, the unsullied will line up outside the gate, which should be successful if the Yunkai’i don’t mount an immediate counterattack.
Barristan reminds the commanders that they must retreat or advance when they hear the Red Lamb blow the horn. The Windower asks what to do if there is no horn blast -- that is, if Barristan and his lads are all dead. Barristan knows that this is likely, as he intends to be first through the lines of the Yunkai’i, so he just says that in that case, the Widower will be second in command. Barristan then remembers that Lord Commander Hightower had once told him to never speak of defeat before a battle, since the gods might be listening.
It will be dawn soon. Someone says “A red dawn,” and Barristan thinks “A dragon dawn.” Previously, he had prayed to each of the seven for various things, ending with a plea to the stranger for mercy. Though he knows all men must die eventually, Barristan would like to live through the day.
More bodies fall from the sky. Barristan notices Tumco Lho’s reaction and sees that the lad fears the pale more more than the foes outside the gates. Barristan then gives a stirring pep talk about how every man fears every battle. At first, the Red Lamb is defiant, saying that doesn’t fear death because at that point he’ll get to meet the Great Shepherd -- when he plans to break his shepherd’s crook in two and castigate the shepherd for creating such a peaceful people in such a violent world.
Barristan continues his lecture, saying that there is “nothing more terrible, nothing more glorious, nothing more absurd” than war. Even Barristan admits that he shat his pants in his first battle. He is interrupted by a murmur among the soldiers -- a fire is lit at the harpy on top of one of the pyramids, presumably to signal the men at each gate to begin the attack. The gate opens and Barristan sounds the call to attack.
[At this point he says there will be a Victarion and Tyrion chapter (perhaps the ones he has already read), in some order, at which point we return to...]
SER BARRISTAN II
His gut feels twisted from nervousness as he rides through the gates. He knows that the feeling will go away when time slows down in the chaos of battle. Dany’s horse is easily outpacing the lads and the rest of the cavalry; Barristan is pleased because he intends to outrun the Widower and strike the first blow. The Yunkai’i are totally unprepared and Barristan closes in on the Harridan, the largest of the trebuchets. The stormcrows take up the cry, “Daario!” and “Stormcrows, fly!” Barristan thinks that he will never again doubt the valor of sellswords.
There are only thirty yards between the horse and the Yunkai’i legions by the time any defense is mounted. The air fills with arrows. A squire for the stormcrows is killed, and a bolt pierces Barristan’s shield. There are three horn blasts and the pitfighters emerge from the gate behind them.
Barristan glances back to see the pitfighters. There are about two hundred of them, but they make enough noise for two thousand. One woman stands out, wearing nothing but greaves, sandals, a chainmail skirt, and a python. Barristan is a bit shocked and, watching her breasts bouncing around, thinks that this day is sure to be her last. The pitfighters are mostly shouting “Loraq!” and “Hizdar!” but some do call out “Danaerys!” Larraq is hit in the chest with an arrow, bringing Barristan’s attention forward, but the squire keeps the banners held high and shakes it off.
Barristan has reached the Harridan, but a Ghiscari legion six thousand strong has lined up to protect the huge trebuchet. They are six ranks deep -- the first rank kneels and holds their spears pointing out and up, the second rank stands and holds their spears out at waist height, and and the third rank holds the spears out on their shoulders. The rest have small throwing spears and are ready to step forward when their comrades fall.
Barristan knows that a maester’s chain is only as strong as his weakest link, and identifies the companies of the Yunkish lords as the weakest of his immediate foes, certainly weaker than the slave legions. In particular, Barristan targets the Little Pigeon and his herons. The slaves chosen to be herons were freakishly tall before they were put on stilts, and wear pink scales and feathers and steel beaks. But Barristan sees that they will be blind because of the dawn rising over the city, and like to break ranks easily, so Barristan turns away from the legion guarding the trebuchet at the last minute and heads for the herons.
He cuts the head off of one of the herons and his lads join the fray. Dany’s horse knocks a heron into three others and they all fall over. In a moment, the herons are scattering and running away, led by the Little Pigeon himself. Unfortunately for the Little Pigeon, he trips over the fringes of his bird armor and gets caught by the Red Lamb. The Little Pigeon begs for mercy, saying that he will fetch a large ransom. The Red Lamb just says “I came for blood, not gold” and knocks in the Little Pigeon’s head with his mace, splattering blood all over Barristan and Dany’s silver horse.
The unsullied begin marching through the gates, and Barristan sees that the Yunkai’i have missed their chance to effectively launch a counterattack. As he watches more of the slave legions get slaughtered, mostly those who were chained together and could not retreat, he wonders where the sellsword companies like the treacherous Second Sons have gone. The unsullied finish lining up outside the gates, implacable even when one of their own number falls with a crossbow bolt to the neck.
Tumco draws Barristan’s attention to the bay, asking “Why are there so many ships?” Barristan remembers that yesterday there were twenty, but now there are thrice that many. His heart sinks when he reasons that the ships from Volantis must have arrived, but then sees that some of the ships are crashing together.
He asks Tumco, whose young eyes can see more clearly, to identify the banners. Tumco says “Squids, big squids. Like in the Basilisk Isles, where sometimes they drag whole ships down.” Barristan replies, “Where I’m from, we call them krakens.”
Realizing that the Greyjoys have arrived, his first thought is “Has Balon joined with Joffrey, or the Starks?” But he realizes that he’s heard that Balon is dead, and wonders if this has something to do with the Balon’s son, the boy who was a ward of the Starks. He sees that ironmen are coming ashore, fighting the Yunkish, and says, surprised, “They are on our side!” The sellswords did not come to meet his charge because they were already preoccupied with the ironborn!
Barristan is almost gleeful. “It’s like Baelor Breakspear and Prince Maekar, the hammer and the anvil. We have them! We have them!”
The chapter begins with a gory description of the bodies of plague victims being thrown into the city by the trebuchets. Only the northern districts across the river are far enough away to avoid being hit.
Barristan rides into the large market by the western gate wearing his new Queensguard armor and riding the silver horse that Drogo gave to Dany. He feels that this is presumptuous, but thinks that even while the queen is missing it is important to have some symbol of her around to improve morale. Three of his lads ride with him: Tumco Lho, Larraq, and the Red Lamb.
In the marketplace (featuring landmarks like the statue of the chainmaker and the spire of skulls), at the “hour of the wolf,” the main forces that will participate in the attack gather. There are five thousand unsullied, the Storm Crows, a ragged band of about twenty dothraki and the pitfighters. The Shavepate’s beasts are manning the city walls in place of the unsullied. They will serve as the city’s last line of protection if Barristan’s attack fails and Dany has not returned.
The attack will leave from three gates (north, south, and west), but Barristan will lead the charge against the main Yunkai’i forces directly to the west. Barristan thinks that the attack is against all of his instincts, as the basic numbers are against them and success hinges on trusting sellswords -- in particular, trusting the in the Tattered Prince’s greed.
He meets with his commanders (including the Widower, Jokin, Grey Worm, and some of the pitfighters). Their plan is to lead with the horse and flank the defending legions, taking out the trebuchets and burning the pavilions. The pitfighters will advance after the horse and focus on intimidation and slaughter. Finally, the unsullied will line up outside the gate, which should be successful if the Yunkai’i don’t mount an immediate counterattack.
Barristan reminds the commanders that they must retreat or advance when they hear the Red Lamb blow the horn. The Windower asks what to do if there is no horn blast -- that is, if Barristan and his lads are all dead. Barristan knows that this is likely, as he intends to be first through the lines of the Yunkai’i, so he just says that in that case, the Widower will be second in command. Barristan then remembers that Lord Commander Hightower had once told him to never speak of defeat before a battle, since the gods might be listening.
It will be dawn soon. Someone says “A red dawn,” and Barristan thinks “A dragon dawn.” Previously, he had prayed to each of the seven for various things, ending with a plea to the stranger for mercy. Though he knows all men must die eventually, Barristan would like to live through the day.
More bodies fall from the sky. Barristan notices Tumco Lho’s reaction and sees that the lad fears the pale more more than the foes outside the gates. Barristan then gives a stirring pep talk about how every man fears every battle. At first, the Red Lamb is defiant, saying that doesn’t fear death because at that point he’ll get to meet the Great Shepherd -- when he plans to break his shepherd’s crook in two and castigate the shepherd for creating such a peaceful people in such a violent world.
Barristan continues his lecture, saying that there is “nothing more terrible, nothing more glorious, nothing more absurd” than war. Even Barristan admits that he shat his pants in his first battle. He is interrupted by a murmur among the soldiers -- a fire is lit at the harpy on top of one of the pyramids, presumably to signal the men at each gate to begin the attack. The gate opens and Barristan sounds the call to attack.
[At this point he says there will be a Victarion and Tyrion chapter (perhaps the ones he has already read), in some order, at which point we return to...]
SER BARRISTAN II
His gut feels twisted from nervousness as he rides through the gates. He knows that the feeling will go away when time slows down in the chaos of battle. Dany’s horse is easily outpacing the lads and the rest of the cavalry; Barristan is pleased because he intends to outrun the Widower and strike the first blow. The Yunkai’i are totally unprepared and Barristan closes in on the Harridan, the largest of the trebuchets. The stormcrows take up the cry, “Daario!” and “Stormcrows, fly!” Barristan thinks that he will never again doubt the valor of sellswords.
There are only thirty yards between the horse and the Yunkai’i legions by the time any defense is mounted. The air fills with arrows. A squire for the stormcrows is killed, and a bolt pierces Barristan’s shield. There are three horn blasts and the pitfighters emerge from the gate behind them.
Barristan glances back to see the pitfighters. There are about two hundred of them, but they make enough noise for two thousand. One woman stands out, wearing nothing but greaves, sandals, a chainmail skirt, and a python. Barristan is a bit shocked and, watching her breasts bouncing around, thinks that this day is sure to be her last. The pitfighters are mostly shouting “Loraq!” and “Hizdar!” but some do call out “Danaerys!” Larraq is hit in the chest with an arrow, bringing Barristan’s attention forward, but the squire keeps the banners held high and shakes it off.
Barristan has reached the Harridan, but a Ghiscari legion six thousand strong has lined up to protect the huge trebuchet. They are six ranks deep -- the first rank kneels and holds their spears pointing out and up, the second rank stands and holds their spears out at waist height, and and the third rank holds the spears out on their shoulders. The rest have small throwing spears and are ready to step forward when their comrades fall.
Barristan knows that a maester’s chain is only as strong as his weakest link, and identifies the companies of the Yunkish lords as the weakest of his immediate foes, certainly weaker than the slave legions. In particular, Barristan targets the Little Pigeon and his herons. The slaves chosen to be herons were freakishly tall before they were put on stilts, and wear pink scales and feathers and steel beaks. But Barristan sees that they will be blind because of the dawn rising over the city, and like to break ranks easily, so Barristan turns away from the legion guarding the trebuchet at the last minute and heads for the herons.
He cuts the head off of one of the herons and his lads join the fray. Dany’s horse knocks a heron into three others and they all fall over. In a moment, the herons are scattering and running away, led by the Little Pigeon himself. Unfortunately for the Little Pigeon, he trips over the fringes of his bird armor and gets caught by the Red Lamb. The Little Pigeon begs for mercy, saying that he will fetch a large ransom. The Red Lamb just says “I came for blood, not gold” and knocks in the Little Pigeon’s head with his mace, splattering blood all over Barristan and Dany’s silver horse.
The unsullied begin marching through the gates, and Barristan sees that the Yunkai’i have missed their chance to effectively launch a counterattack. As he watches more of the slave legions get slaughtered, mostly those who were chained together and could not retreat, he wonders where the sellsword companies like the treacherous Second Sons have gone. The unsullied finish lining up outside the gates, implacable even when one of their own number falls with a crossbow bolt to the neck.
Tumco draws Barristan’s attention to the bay, asking “Why are there so many ships?” Barristan remembers that yesterday there were twenty, but now there are thrice that many. His heart sinks when he reasons that the ships from Volantis must have arrived, but then sees that some of the ships are crashing together.
He asks Tumco, whose young eyes can see more clearly, to identify the banners. Tumco says “Squids, big squids. Like in the Basilisk Isles, where sometimes they drag whole ships down.” Barristan replies, “Where I’m from, we call them krakens.”
Realizing that the Greyjoys have arrived, his first thought is “Has Balon joined with Joffrey, or the Starks?” But he realizes that he’s heard that Balon is dead, and wonders if this has something to do with the Balon’s son, the boy who was a ward of the Starks. He sees that ironmen are coming ashore, fighting the Yunkish, and says, surprised, “They are on our side!” The sellswords did not come to meet his charge because they were already preoccupied with the ironborn!
Barristan is almost gleeful. “It’s like Baelor Breakspear and Prince Maekar, the hammer and the anvil. We have them! We have them!”
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