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Worst film you have ever seen and why?

ATOMIC SUPLEX

ATOMIC SUPLEX

Member Since: 1985 Post Count: 3
You know the sort of thing. My eyes, my eyes, why did I waste a second on this shite, why am I here.

When I was on a plane to Hawaii I had to sit in front of a massive screen showing 'What a Girl wants', and that film has to be a contender. I had to take my headphones off and close my eyes.

Mimic has to be up there as well. For some reason I feel like torturing myself and watching them again.

Fuck me what a girl wants is the shittiest film ever. Firth is this english guy so obviously he lives in London. He's just five minutes drive from London airport (heathrow) over tower bridge and up a long winding drive to his mansion.
Plucky american girl show the stiff british how to have fun and in return finds out the we call elevators lifts. Wow, no wonder she got herself all in a tiz, what a silly country we have.
 
Tommy
The Green Berets
Four Weddings and a Funeral

Each for a different (though I assume obvious) reason.
 
I thought Tommy was quite good.

The worst film I've ever seen was one of only three films I've ever walked out of. 'Living in Hope' it was called, all about the wacky and zany antics of undergraduates living in a halls of residence called 'Hope House'.

One poor idiot fails to get on the varsity rugger team, so kills himself by driving his car into a wall. This is not handled with the sensitivity suicide deserves, nor was it even the subject of proper black humour. Instead it was, like the rest of the film, an exercise in crass ignorant stupidity.

(This was, needless to add, a product of the British film industry. The industry that made Passport to Pimlico is now incapable of producing anything other than dross).
 
It was a bio-pic about an amputee who walked across America. Someone took me to see it because they thought it was inspiring and life-affirming. It was mawkish and a steaming great crock of shite and perpetuated myths about people with disabilities being tragic and brave. Thankfully it's become a distant and hazy memory and I've forgotten the title.
 
Sunshine. For claiming to be an "intelligent" sci film.

The Beautician and the Beast. Fran Drescher and Timothy Dalton. Airplane film.

Buffalo 66. Fuck Vincent Gallo. Fuck him in the ear.
 
Bad Karma, starring Patsy Kensit. The blurb DVD blurb:

When a beautiful mental patient (Patsy Kensit) finds out that her psychiatrist (Patrick Muldoon) is going on vacation with his family, she escapes from the institution and goes on a murderous rampage to find him. Convinced that he is the reincarnation of Jack the Ripper and she his mistress in their previous life, she commits violent murders to victims along the way, recreating the bloody deaths of nearly a century ago. When she finally tracks him down she takes his daughter and wife (Amy Locane) hostage to force him to acknowledge their past history and future destiny together. In a desperate attempt to save the live of those he loves, as well as himself, he must figure out a way to escape from Hell's Gate...
Click to expand...

I have to watch a LOT of films for my job. This is the worst one. It's supposed to be set in New Jersey, but about halfway through the production team have clearly given up pretending they're not filming in Ireland. There's Irish phone boxes and police cars, and the final scene is in a castle. Because everyone knows how many castles there are in New Jersey. Patsy Kensit is just awful, really really terrible. It is a Bad Film.

Other contenders include:

Step-Brothers, starring Will Ferrell. No redeeming features.

Green Street 2, a sub-Danny-Dyer football hooligan film. Embarrassingly bad.
 
I know it's obvious, but Battlefield earth. When someone told me it was a shit sci fi film I thought 'great, I'll get stoned and enjoy a rubbish sci fi b movie'


it wasn't even enjoyably rubbish, just absolute cock.
 
8den said:
Sunshine. For claiming to be an "intelligent" sci film.

The Beautician and the Beast. Fran Drescher and Timothy Dalton. Airplane film.

Buffalo 66. Fuck Vincent Gallo. Fuck him in the ear.
Click to expand...

What's wrong with Buffalo 66? I seem to remember enjoying it quite a lot.
 
Coraline

about 10 minutes in I went to sleep behind my 3d glasses and woke occassionaly to find that the flipping thing was still going ... eugh
 
ATOMIC SUPLEX said:
You know the sort of thing. My eyes, my eyes, why did I waste a second on this shite, why am I here.

When I was on a plane to Hawaii I had to sit in front of a massive screen showing 'What a Girl wants', and that film has to be a contender. I had to take my headphones off and close my eyes.

Mimic has to be up there as well. For some reason I feel like torturing myself and watching them again.

Fuck me what a girl wants is the shittiest film ever. Firth is this english guy so obviously he lives in London. He's just five minutes drive from London airport (heathrow) over tower bridge and up a long winding drive to his mansion.
Plucky american girl show the stiff british how to have fun and in return finds out the we call elevators lifts. Wow, no wonder she got herself all in a tiz, what a silly country we have.
Click to expand...

That IS fucking awful indeed :mad:

But I don't rank stuff like that amongst my worst films ever. that would be liking kicking a homeless person.

For me it's a tossup between Spawn (godawful comic book adaptation, watching it you really realise what a dearth of them there were in the 90s and how spoiled we've been in recent years), Shakespeare in Love (awful smug horrible nonsense), Closer (wankiest, horrible, plastic characters ever - and I quite like Clive Owen!) or Lost in Space (waste of good actors like Gary oldman on awful awful awful scifi which at times made me want to smash up the cinema.

:mad:
 
Off the top of my head-

Good Luck Chuck, I Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Click... In fact every film with Chuck in the title or which features Adam Sandler or Dane Cook. *spits*

Good Luck Chuck is the most base, hateful and disgusting film Ive seen. Whoever wrote it has a seriously fucked up attitude to women. I never liked Jessica Alba but I despise her for being in that film.

I hated it so much I was cussing at the screen and had to be restrained from throwing things. I wasnt alone either; there were only about 10 people in the cinema there were walk outs and shouts of 'fuck off' which was way funnier than the film.

The attitudes stunk, the timing was off and Dane Cook is a CUNT and unquestionably so is anyone who likes that film. No exceptions.

I still give my BF occasional bad looks for taking me to see it.
 
DotCommunist said:
I know it's obvious, but Battlefield earth. When someone told me it was a shit sci fi film I thought 'great, I'll get stoned and enjoy a rubbish sci fi b movie'


it wasn't even enjoyably rubbish, just absolute cock.
Click to expand...

I watched most of Alian Nation the other day. That was enjoyable rubbish :)
 
I think I win the thread by actually having paid, with real money, to see the unmitigated horror that is:

'Sex Lives Of The Potato Men.'

Mother of God, it's dreadful.
 
Why do people keep nominating things like 'sex lives of the potato men'? One can just tell that is going to be shite from the title.

But shakespeare in love, that got major awards and oscars, yet was shockingly bad. :mad:
 
5t3IIa said:
I watched most of Alian Nation the other day. That was enjoyable rubbish :)
Click to expand...

Alien Nation is fucking ace and the heavy handed morals decrying xenephobia and racism does not in any way detract from how awesome it is to have spotty headed offal eating aliens who have thier genitals in there armpits:cool:
 
DotCommunist said:
I know it's obvious, but Battlefield earth. When someone told me it was a shit sci fi film I thought 'great, I'll get stoned and enjoy a rubbish sci fi b movie'


it wasn't even enjoyably rubbish, just absolute cock.
Click to expand...

I concur...


recently Skinwalkers...........:eek: oh my fucking lord it's terrible (only good thing was it starred the guy from Roswell who is all grown up and rather tasty)......


shite of the highest order !


Eyes Wide Shut ranks up there too.........never been in a cinema where a constant stream of people just got up and left !
 
Adam Sandler is a cold, venal bastard. I beleive he has his own production company to churn out his revolting, lazy conveyor belt films which are all the same.

Women are sluts and whores or cold and frigid and they're always telling you what to do. Fat women are funny. Give her a uniform and position of authority and ding ding ding!

Oh and gays are hilarious and black people are scary. I was appalled to see Ving Rhames in Chuck and Larry. Is there anything funnier than a giant black homo, naked and dancing IN A SHOWER full of straight men?

That scene was the all time apex of Sandler's cuntitude. I wanted Rhames to stab Sandler through the eye with his big black cock and fuck the socket. Now *that's* funny.

Oh and the loathsome protagonist always learns a lesson at the end. Despite shitting on his wife and kids from a great height, they forgive him.

Its beneath contempt- He must have the lowest opinion of the people who watch his shit. He falls so far short of films like Knocked Up and 40 year old Virgin which are probably going for a similar audience but get laughs without debasing everyone who watches.
 
I have just remembered a couple of others.

The Mother - Daniel Craig gets it on with a geriatric (who keeps drawing cocks), even worse, in real life the woman playing the 75 year old is actually 85.
Fantastipo - I don't even want to talk about it. Uh.
 
Uwe Boll's game adaptation BloodRayne. I only watched it because I'd seen pretty much everything else on the DivX site I got it from. It's the first film I've ever consciously just given up on before it's ended. Even the lesbians-in-loincloths couldn't hold my interest.
 
Independence Day-promising start then went down the plug hole. Gung ho shite....truly awful.

Swept Away-dreadful. Madonna acting as badly as only she can in a film that is the literal equivalent of swimming through a sea of turgid shit with ones mouth wide open.

Domino-Ikea Knightly in one of the of the most dire films ever made. The script is diabolical and as always Ikea is awful

Saw-watched this because comparisons were made by some to Seven. All I can say is they can't have watched seven if they think this film is anything like it. The guy who took a saw to his ankle in the end....not sure of his name-but his acting was unintentionally the funniest performance I have ever seen in my life.
 
I win the thread with this effort, methinks:

showgirls-1995.jpg


Further comment on this Paul Verhoeven 'epic' is probably unnecessary.
 
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