seeformiles
Lost in the wood
It's probably unnecessary, but here's a personal example of how well "strict" works.
I'd have been around 7 or 8, and our "nature" class was taken by a stern and stony-faced headmaster who was well known for not tolerating any kind of deviation from his rules. We were doing "blackbirds", and one of our tasks was to draw and colour in a male and female blackbird. Which I duly did, and was reasonably pleased with the result, which we had to hand in.
The following week, the teacher walks in with a pile of exercise books under his arm, and starts handing them back, with a few comments for each one. As the pile grew smaller, I grew more apprehensive, until there was just one book left, which, by a process of elimination, I realised must be mine. Whether it was my discomfiture, or something else, that fact was pretty obvious to the other 30 kids in the room, and all eyes were on me as he, in a voice like thunder, demanded I came to the front of the room, and he brandished my exercise book at me, open at my picture of the two blackbirds. "What is this?", he raged. I didn't have to profess incomprehension, because I had no idea what he meant. His finger stabbed at the picture of the female, "WHAT IS THIS?", he asked again, and, terrified, I couldn't answer - not just because I was terrified, but because I had no idea what he was on about. I can't remember what I said...I just stammered something. I was ordered to bend over the front desk, while he - unbeknown to me - went somewhere and took out a plimsoll, which he then hit me on the backside with several times. Actually, it didn't hurt that much, but having to hide my pain while looking directly into the face of the child sitting at the desk I was leant over was rather more distressing - it's that I remember rather than the pain of the beating: I felt utterly, utterly humiliated, for some crime I didn't know I'd committed. Shame, and the unlikelihood of parental intervention, meant that I never told anyone of it.
But I recall asking him what the beating was for. He replied, "Dumb insolence", and I then had to do the walk of shame to my desk, with every eye in that classroom following me. I didn't cry - I'd already learned that crying usually made things worse, but seven-year-old me died a little inside as I went and sat down. He must have shown the picture to the class, because I recall a few chants about "green" in the playground later.
Some months later, the school nurse did her rounds, and one of the things she asked me/us to do was some of the Isihara colour-blindness tests, which resulted in the revelation that I was red/green colour blind. I have no idea if it was just me who did those tests, or if it was routine. But, either because somehow I was told, or because I figured it out myself, I realised that my inability to distinguish brown from green was what resulted in my public humiliation and beating: I had coloured in the female blackbird green, not brown. And, I assume, because this teacher was all about compliance and conformity, he automatically assumed that my error was a deliberate one designed to spite him, and punished me accordingly.
Meanwhile, incidentally, my (dyslexic and left-handed) brother was having his hand hit with a ruler every time a teacher caught him using his left hand to write.
OK, I know we don't beat primary school kids any more, but we certainly haven't moved past the stage of humiliating them in public, and that experience was an extremely formative one for me, which, some half a century later, still influences my thinking.
And the biggest lesson of that experience was that powerful people can be wrong. And their power often lies in their refusal to admit that. Nobody came to me and apologised, or explained what had happened: it was left to me to figure out - alone - why I had had to suffer like that. If ever there was a moment when I learned that injustice could be done without consequence, it was then.
Which has had two effects on me: one, a deep and profound disregard for those who exercise overweening power and control over others, and two; a burning rage against injustice and callous conformism, which manifested as a growing and increasingly blatant defiance of authority. If I was going to be punished for "dumb insolence" for an honest and unavoidable mistake, I might as well be hanged for a sheep as for a lamb, and what they got was not-always-so-dumb insolence. I wrote essays in which the protagonists would use language that was decidedly outwith the acceptable norms. I developed a style of passive-aggressive satire which formed the foundation of a lot of how I write nowadays. And, in something of a masterstroke, I defied my teachers by mastering writing with my left hand, sometimes even in mirror writing (not very good), in some kind of misguided gesture of solidarity with my brother.
And I got hit a lot. But I'd learned not to care, not even - or so it seemed - about the humiliation.
So when I see the antics of the likes of Birbalsing, I am taken back to those dying days of the 1960s, and the deliberate humiliation I was made to suffer for being "different" - because they assumed that any difference meant defiance. And a part of me - that increasingly angry, idealistic 8 year old - will not let that go unchallenged. Were fifty-something year old me to be back in that situation, that teacher would have been equally publicly humiliated by me in a way that small child could never have achieved...though I suspect that my efforts went some way towards pushing back at the system in general.
Which is why I cannot, and will not, accept that forced conformity will ever be a humane or valid way of enforcing discipline on children, not least because you will never know, as you clamp down ever harder on those children, and as that headmaster didn't stop to consider, that there may be very valid and unavoidable reasons why any given child is apparently "refusing" to conform.
And that is a hill I would happily die on. I reserve the deepest disdain for adults whose need for control is so overwhelming that they choose to inflict it on a group of people who have no possible chance of standing up for themselves. Fuck that.
A great post that brings back a lot of similar unpleasant memories for me. Such treatment turned me into a bloody minded nonconformist suspicious of any attempts by those in authority to “come down on me like a ton of bricks”. It got to the stage at secondary school where I realised teachers’ power was something the worst ones hid behind and certain rules were so ludicrous as to be unenforceable so would frequently stand up in class, mutter “Fuck this..” and leave for the day. My parents took me to a psychiatrist to try and get to the root of my “trouble” but I’m still a bloody minded so-and-so suspicious of authority who feels great anger at unfairness. I think that’s a positive thing.