Top Gear 2016 who should the presenters be?

[gosub]

Guy Martin. His shows piss on Top Gear. No chance with the beeb though.

Did a 24hour mountain bike race in Scotland recently, only contestant that refused to be interviewed by BBC Scotland adventure programme that was covering it.

 

[Cid]

Do you think him and Clarkson (and most of the cabinet) share a cocaine dealer?

I reckon they have a contract with London Field's brewery. For beer. Of course beer.

 

[8ball]

stewart lee

The sequences with him and Hammond alone would make it the best thing ever.

 

[tim]

Jon Noakes, Lloyd Grossman and Joan Bakewell.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Tom Waits

"Tonight I'm test driving this beat up old excuse for a Buick that I picked up over at Mickey's going out of business sale back in Oklahoma City. All asymmetrical blunt force trauma scars and wine-red upholstery, Mickey ain't doin so well. The car's seen better days too, or she would have if she could see out through all the grime that's been ground into her after near forty years of trawling desert backroads looking for that one last gas station where her credit ain't so bad that she can't get one last drink before the shutters come down."

"She handles like a Sacramento hooker trying to make it out the back window before her John wakes up to find his wallet gone. Clumsy as all hell but determined. The engine is just a hornet's nest stuffed into a trash can, waiting for its moment to unleash hell. No tread left on the tyres worth a damn, and the eight track player died a few years back after a chance encounter with a cup of coffee that should've known better. She's maybe got a couple years left in her yet if she finds a gentle hand to guide her. There's a first time for everything I suppose."

 

[coley]

why not take this opportunity to put in some nicer people?

True, mebbes the future of motoring?
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elon_Musk

 

[coley]

They could have a show hosted by people who have previously been fired from other BBC shows. Angus Deayton, Richard Bacon...probably not Chris Langham come to think of it.

Not a Clarkson fan (as such) but how on earth can they be suggesting ditching him after rehabilitating that pair of shytes Ross and Bland? What they did was far in excess of Clarkson's odd faux paus!?

 

[DownwardDog]

Guy Martin. His shows piss on Top Gear. No chance with the beeb though.

His carefully constructed Alf Tupper persona becomes insufferable after about 30 seconds.

 

[Yossarian]

Bill Oddie, Catherine Tate, and Gonzo the Great.

 

[Tankus]

Needs a bit more woollarding and less lads mag...

 

[Pickman's model]

paul merton, nicholas parsons, graham norton

 

[Diamond]

Chris Morris

 

[Bernie Gunther]

I reckon they have a contract with London Field's brewery. For beer. Of course beer.

Sure, that's what I meant. I didn't mean to suggest that any of them (who haven't already been convicted of it) would take illegal drugs.

 

[Bahnhof Strasse]

Sabine Schmidt, Steve Coogan and me, job's a good 'un.

 

[chilango]

Paxman, Jamie Oliver, Ricky Gervais and that bloke out of the Kaiser Chiefs.

 

[pogo 10]

Ant and dec, jimmy carr.

 

[Favelado]

Desmond Tutu, Norm off Cheers and Floella Benjamin,

 

[dessiato]

Desmond Tutu, Norm off Cheers and Floella Benjamin,

Coach, if he was alive, might be better.

 

[rubbershoes]

Sir Bufton Tufton, Jean Paul Sartre, Zippy, Bungle , Jefrrey Archer

 

[danny la rouge]

Nigel Farage, Nick Griffin and Gary Glitter.

 

[dessiato]

These always seemed to have some sort of adventure, there could still be the specials, and the might be more interesting with a full on crew.


I checked, it is Hugh, Pugh, Barney MacGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub.

 

[Belushi]

Omar Little, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Pam Ayres

 

[two sheds]

Someone who repeatedly shouts into the camera 'Get out of your fucking cars and walk or cycle or take the bus or train you lazy cunts'. In a non confrontational way.

 

[dessiato]

Someone who repeatedly shouts into the camera 'Get out of your fucking cars and walk or cycle or take the bus or train you lazy cunts'. In a non confrontational way.

When in the UK I'd take the train or bus if it was cheaper than using my car. It is too inconvenient, in the times and routes, and too expensive to make it a viable alternative to using my car.

Last Xmas in EDI I used the tram (the tram was good, but you have to buy a ticket with a card and it wouldn't accept my Spanish cards), train and finally a taxi, (there was over an hour to wait for the bus, they don't connect time-wise). The total cost for two was over £40 one way, if I use my car for the same journey, it costs less than half that return, takes less than half the time and saves having to stand around in the wet cold of a Scottish winter. I am also guaranteed a seat, I don't pay a fortune for an inconvenient, uncomfortable journey.

 

[Favelado]

Peter Sutcliffe, Spuggie off Byker Grove and Gary Wilmot.

 

[two sheds]

When in the UK I'd take the train or bus if it was cheaper than using my car. It is too inconvenient, in the times and routes, and too expensive to make it a viable alternative to using my car.

Last Xmas in EDI I used the tram, train and finally a taxi, (there was over an hour to wait for the bus, they don't connect time-wise). The total cost for two was over £40 one way, if I use my car for the same journey, it costs less than half that return, takes less than half the time and saves having to stand around in the wet cold of a Scottish winter. I am also guaranteed a seat, I don't pay a fortune for an inconvenient, uncomfortable journey.

Yes fair play. Plus a second presenter shouting into the camera 'Give us a proper fucking transport system Cameron you lazy cunt it's a basic need' In a bit more of a confrontational way.

 

[dessiato]

Yes fair play. Plus a second presenter shouting into the camera 'Give us a proper fucking transport system Cameron you lazy cunt it's a basic need' In a bit more of a confrontational way.

Even if the public transport was the same cost as my car I'd consider it more, and especially if it was more convenient than it is. I actually like taking the train, but not paying a large amount of money to stand in a corridor. I used to use the trains in Portugal because, by the time you'd factored in the cost of road tolls and parking, it was a much better option. The trains were seldom over crowded, and always clean.

 

[two sheds]

Yes same, although I don't actually do a lot of travel now apart from the bus every few weeks. I do love trains when you get a seat (preferably of course a doubleseat).

Any new programme should be interspersed with spoof versions of car ads that show exciting new motors racing across pristine beaches and speeding unchallenged through busy city streets. They could show real oil slicks and real mangled kiddies' bodies, with the images being splashed across the new cars themselves along the lines of what they do now with cigarette packets, but funnier.

 

[two sheds]

I actually like taking the train, but not paying a large amount of money to stand in a corridor. I used to use the trains in Portugal because, by the time you'd factored in the cost of road tolls and parking, it was a much better option. The trains were seldom over crowded, and always clean.

I loved trains in Holland particularly, sit back and relax and watch the towns/buildings and countryside pass by.

 

[dessiato]

I loved trains in Holland particularly, sit back and relax and watch the towns/buildings and countryside pass by.

The Dutch trains are so reliable, not always the most comfortable, but absolutely bang on time. One day I want to do London to Seville (or wherever is nearest to where I live, by train. Watching the scenery and countries slip by would be a wonderful way to relax and travel.