the long-awaited 'why the telegraph is going downhill' thread

[stavros]

Terribly sorry, but if the options are Eton or Cemetery Street Comprehensive, I know where my child would be going.

I agree. It's just such a shame that those are the only two options available.

 

[two sheds]

but lucky that everyone can afford to send their kids to Eton nowadays

 

[not a trot]

Tsarina? He called his kid TSARINA?

Sounds like something posh people have in their fruit bowls.

 

[Orang Utan]

Terribly sorry, but if the options are Eton or Cemetery Street Comprehensive, I know where my child would be going. (Hypothetical, because as a 71 year old who has had a vasectomy, the odds on me having another child are slim to zero).

The comprehensive? Surely even you wouldn’t want their kid to go Eton to become a terrible person?

 

[Orang Utan]

I thought the Tories disapproved of economic migrants? STOP THE YACHTS!

 

[Orang Utan]

Tsarina? He called his kid TSARINA?

It’s a rather inviting name for those of us with bolshevik leanings

 

[PR1Berske]

 

[Orang Utan]

View attachment 428840

Don’t threaten us with a good time!

 

[PR1Berske]

 

[ska invita]

I thought the Tories disapproved of economic migrants? STOP THE YACHTS!

 

[Cerv]

the article describes various visas to apply for if you want more than the 90 day visa-free allowance. nothing illegal at all.

How to live in France for six months a year – despite the 90 day Brexit rule

Little-known laws allow British holiday homeowners to stay much longer

www.telegraph.co.uk

https://archive.ph/F5ayI

 

[T & P]

Good effort, Michael

 

[Lotte]

Zoe Strimpel is a one-woman bullshit machine. She's the one who said she'd vote Israel in Eurovision just to piss off the wokes.

 

[PR1Berske]

Zoe Strimpel is a one-woman bullshit machine. She's the one who said she'd vote Israel in Eurovision just to piss off the wokes.

She's also the "you can't be fat in Bridgerton" woman.

 

[Lotte]

Anti-woke, pro-Israel, anti-Me Too, anti-trans, anti-fat. It's like a bingo card.

 

[PR1Berske]

 

[Dogsauce]

View attachment 429720

If only…

Their meltdown after July 4th is going to be a fun watch.

 

[T & P]

Don’t be unduly harsh to her. She might have gone into work mode whilst still tripping balls from an epic night out, as she’s been known to in the past

 

[Lotte]

View attachment 429720

How dare they threaten us with a good time

 

[PR1Berske]

 

[Dystopiary]

It's like the Daily Mail headline generator.

 

[Monkeygrinder's Organ]

It's like the Daily Mail headline generator.

Good to see they've kept it up to date - spotted some drill music and reform party references in there.

 

[T & P]

It's like the Daily Mail headline generator.

I've had a few go's at it, and I doubt I'll ever see better than

EFFEMINATE TRAFFIC WARDENS ARE TAKING OVER IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS​

 

[Dystopiary]

I've had a few go's at it, and I doubt I'll ever see better than

EFFEMINATE TRAFFIC WARDENS ARE TAKING OVER IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS​

Good to see they've kept it up to date - spotted some drill music and reform party references in there.

FANATICAL "CLIMATE CHANGE" IS HARASSING THE REFORM PARTY​

 

[two sheds]

They look like typical NextDoor posts recently tbf.

 

[steeplejack]

I've had a few go's at it, and I doubt I'll ever see better than

EFFEMINATE TRAFFIC WARDENS ARE TAKING OVER IMPERIAL MEASUREMENTS​

I don't know tbh

 

[steeplejack]

There was a Private Eye series featuring some spoof Norman Tebbit rant or leaflet in the early 90s, and it produced an unforgettable political imperative for the spoof hard-righer: THE RIGHT OF HARD WORKING BRITISH TAXPAYERS NOT TO BE SODOMISED IN BROAD DAYLIGHT BY ROMANIAN ASYLUM SEEKERS

 

[stavros]

I think this is a new version of the DM headline generator, as the old one looked different, and had various references to Brown and Cameron.

Anyway, back to the Maily Telegraph.

 

[hitmouse]

They've got a point about the seagulls, though.

 

[PR1Berske]